To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

"A job doesn’t define who you are as a person."

Completely agree -

Yet watch how many people in British society immediately ask you "so, what is it that you do", followed by an expectant pause, waiting to give their tacit and unwanted approval for whatever it is you say..

Honest days work for an honest days pay. Zero shame in that.
Sounds like you've made a decision that suits you & your family. Good for you.

I started a cleaning business after being made redundant at 50. I had worked in my time in responsible jobs (local government; civil service etc), but I was sick of working for shitty bosses. My father was ashamed of me, sad to say. He ignored the fact I had pulled myself together after losing a job I'd had for many years, started a new and profitable business and was getting on with things. This just confirmed to me that my father was a terrible snob.
Any job you create yourself and support yourself with is brilliant. Cleaning is also a free workout every day, it certainly kept me fit!
Good luck.

In my line of work I sometimes need to question how a person has previously made a living. I will never forget one woman’s answer “I was on the rob” spoken without an ounce of shame!

You are most certainly not scum though I’m pretty sure the people who look down on you are.

^This in spades, 100%. What a ridiculous attitude to have.

I'm a professional talented artist and also a part time cleaner, which brings in regular money, gives me a sense of belonging, team work, and keeps me fit. No shame in it at all.

I ve been a cleaner and some jobs were nicer than others. In schools with a team was lovely, in offices on my own was not. I did feel they looked down on me there.
You are doing a good job bringing money home so you have no reason to feel ashamed!
Fwiw I like cleaning so never minded it.
I m in better paid work now but no way do i look down on our cleaners. They do an amazing job.

It's a job. You do your job and you get paid. Many don't bother!
I know loads of mums at school who find cleaning really works around the family and it's ideal for them. It's nothing to look down on.
Unless your job is causing harm to someone (the vivisectionists had reason to be ashamed) then hold your head up and ignore any judgment.

I cleaned for a couple of years and never felt ashamed of it - I thought you were going to say you were a shoplifter or an escort or something!

I think it's decent work to be proud of. I love telling people all my old cleaning hacks. You sound very switched on and have a set up that suits your family. To hell with what anyone else thinks...

I'm a cleaner at a train station is grim. Men spit in the urinals whilst looking at me. Makes me feel angry sometimes but I love cleaning and well, they'd soon notice if I wasn't there to keep it clean. Sod um! We've all got to earn money to support ourselves. It's freezing cold, hard and dirty work for min wage and I'm proud of myself and my job.

If anyone is making you feel like scum for being a cleaner then that says far more about them that it does about you.

You're working, paying tax and it's a bloody hard job! You should be proud.

I have a cleaner and she has become one of my great friends. I really respect her, she works harder than most people I know. She earns a decent amount while managing to do all school pick ups/drop offs and be there for her children.
I would never be without her as cleaning is not just something anyone can do, you have to be organised, physically fit, have a good memory (to remember what needs cleaning and when in multiple houses), you need to be able to work in lots of different environments and adapt yourself to other people’s homes. All valuable skills!
Please don’t feel this way OP, you should be proud! You are earning a living that works for you at this time, even if you planned on always being a cleaner, I see absolutely nothing wrong with that. And if people look down on you, they are not worth your time, it says far more about them being a-holes than it does about you.

That's ridiculous. You are provididng a much needed service. You are active. You are not just making rich people richer, you have integrity. You are using a skill.
There is nothing embarrassing about cleaning, as long as you do your best.

People judge every job. I teach chemical engineering at a university, which used to just lead to stunned silence. Now I just expect to be blamed for the oil industry destroying the planet (which is not really true anyway). Actually most of my colleagues work on carbon capture, low energy separations, hydrogen economy transition etc, which are the things we need to save the planet but apparently we are the root of all evil.

There is nothing at all wrong with being a cleaner, it’s an honest and necessary job. I’m happy to say that our cleaners at work are treated with respect and everyone from our head of department down is on first name terms with them.

Anyway, on the last night I got drunk and demanded to know what they did for a living

Really? I would have given you a swerve, that was a very rude way to behave

Now THEY were ashamed of what they did. Don’t think you need to worry OP!

Did you feel shame for harassing and demanding information? Fucking hell.

OP I've done plenty of cleaning. It's one of those jobs that suits any type of life. It can be quite satisfying and interesting. Are you sure it's not how you feel inside your head and projecting?

You're working, it just doesn't matter.

You're not scum, don't be daft. My friend recently told me that she had a new cleaning job. I was impressed as she could earn money while the kids are in school. The moneys quite good too, she gets £20 an hour!

Thought you were going to say you were Boris Johnson for a mo there.

I don't know how cleaning can ever be classed as menial. We need to clean to survive! It's actually a very important job. If cleaning wasn't done, we'd likely get the plague on the go again and things like MRSA etc would be rampant! We could totally live without the jobs people do that are very highly paid though minus doctors, medical staff and a select few other highly paid jobs.

OP, I am a credit controller which is another name for a debt collector. I have to make people pay the invoices they owe the company I work for. This can involve making many calls and verging on the line of harassment but keeping within the law. I HAVE been told I am scum before but the way I look at it is, the company I work for needs that money to pay wages and overheads and these people do owe money so asking them to pay what they owe is not cheeky or out of order is it?

You should feel very proud of yourself op- you’re doing an honest days graft - you certainly have my respect.

One of my friends cleans to pay her sons Private school fees, nobody has an issue with it at all
I do wonder OP if you have unfortunately encountered one or 2 arseholes and now assume everyone has the same attitude?

I work in a small supermarket. I also write award winning novels (I work because I like the regular income, royalties are unpredictable).

It's always funny when someone tries to patronise me or treat me as 'just a retail person', especially when my co-workers (who are all very proud of me) gently take them to one side and do the equivalent of 'don't you know who that is?'

So it's just to let you know that what you 'do' isn't 'who you are'. Lots of people do lots of jobs for different reasons and cleaning to help your family financially or to use up spare time when you aren't doing anything else doesn't mean anything!

If anyone tries to patronise you, or makes a face when you say you are a cleaner, just tell them that you're collecting material for your next book. Shuts them up a treat...

A good cleaner is like gold dust, don't be ashamed you have an in-demand skill..

The only people I would judge on their jobs would be those who work in slaughter houses/ vivisection as mentioned above or other animal cruelty roles. Even then, if it was literally their only choice to support their family I would accept it in some way. I just don't understand how they're capable of it tbh

I don't understand why anyone would look down on an honest and very needed job! My mum was a cleaner and I have so much respect for her. My brother and I are both in 'prestigious' careers but we wouldn't be where we are without her

Judgemental people often assume people working as cleaners are doing so because they're intellectually incapable of getting a 'better' job - that was my experience when I was a cleaner back in the day. See also: supermarket cashiers and many retail workers. The amount of times I heard some variation of "if she wanted a better job she should have done her homework" from people who didn't know or care I was within earshot.