To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

You’re part time working but earning over £11k if you’re paying tax?

Nothing to be ashamed of, it’s hard work and you’re making a difference to someone’s life in a good way, all the cleaners I know earn well and are really professional, my cleaner has designer hand bags and an amazing wardrobe. Her support to us as a family allow my husband and I to focus on working and our children and other stuff. Our cleaner is one of the most important people in our lives who gets an insight to us as a family that no else does. If you think people are going to judge (which is more of a reflection on them rather than you) tell people you work in professional home services and domestic support because that’s exactly what you’re doing, it’s not simply cleaning.

Maybe you’re projecting your insecurity on what you think people might be thinking.

You are supporting your family and the work you do is supporting numerous other families!

I think I have my cleaner to thank for losing six stone as much as my personal trainer some days.

We got a cleaner after I had an incredibly tough time at work. I was mentally worn out. My husband does his share, but he works long hours, so isn't in the house much to relax either. The improvement to my mental health of having cleaning sorted and having a lovely house to come home to that we can keep on top of is huge, and leaves me space to exercise and prepare food.

The people who employ you will absolutely love you, even if you never see them!

Imo the world needs the people in the 'bottom rungs' of the working world WAY more than the people being paid millions. What would the world be without the cleaners and the shop assistants and the fruit pickers etc?

Hold your head up high. You are doing a very valuable job. People that don't realise are complete twats imo.

If it's worth paying someone/being paid to do it then it's work. Doesn't matter if it's brain surgery or cleaning. It's your time, effort, skills everything that's being used to get something done. Anyone who looks down on a job can try and do it themselves if they think otherwise.

We all need cleaners, the country would grind to a halt without them. Could you imagine the state of any public spaces (schools, hospitals, service stations, buses, even hotels and restaurants) without cleaners?

I honestly thought you were going to say prostitute or something. Nothing to be ashamed of being a cleaner. Some people should be ashamed of what they leave other people to clean up but not the cleaner.

I’m sorry you feel like this op - I love my cleaner - she does an amazing job, much better than I could ever do and I respect her for it

@astralweaks

* Some stealth bragging on the thread, already. *

Where?

My mum was a cleaner in the NHS for many years and their big boss always used to say that the hospital would grind to a halt and no one would get any treatment if it wasn’t for the cleaning staff - it’s so true!

Are you sure a bit of your inner snobbery isn't at play here ??

I suspect that’s the case.

A jobs a job, I have had many a shit job in the past but never been embarrassed. I remember when I was 18/19 I was working as a chef (the job I trained for) and was in a relationship with a lad who worked in a factory, he was always telling his family how I was “head chef”, then one day I changed jobs and got a shitty job in a factory earning minimum wage, he dumped me , obviously I was no longer the perfect girlfriend due to my job title.

There’s nothing wrong with being a cleaner, it lays the bills and it’s a job you can come home and switch off from.

lovemenorca What's the issue there? She only needs to be working about 21 hours a week to earn £11,000.

Nothing whatsoever wrong with being a cleaner OP, anyone who pulls a face when you tell then that that's your job is not someone whose opinion you should value.

I think part of the ‘stigma’ of cleaning work is that cleaners know about people’s secret sloppiness, and they don’t like that. I have cleaners and, while I love what they are able to do with my house, the fact that I need them makes me feel ashamed of myself - I wish I didn’t have a witness to my slovenly habits and general incompetence! I worked with someone once who did cleaning work while studying. She was super organised and efficient. I was always in awe of her, and a bit scared - as though she could see into my soul to what a dirty and messy and chaotic person I must be!

The only people I would judge on their jobs would be those who work in slaughter houses/ vivisection as mentioned above or other animal cruelty roles. Even then, if it was literally their only choice to support their family I would accept it in some way. I just don't understand how they're capable of it tbh

Have a read. I don’t think it’s a straightforward choice. www.bbc.co.uk/news/stories-50986683

I cannot imagine anyone saying “I’m afraid we’re vivisectionists”. Really?

I worked with someone who had worked at huntingdon for a while. They all have “cover” stories because tell the wrong person and you can end up with a bomb under your car.

As for cleaning no one can judge. Peoples lives and circumstances all lead them to different places. People may be students, may have caring responsibilities or health issues that prevents them getting a fancy job. My not have had opportunities for education. Or simply be in a place where the job suits their life. Some may go on to set up high earning cleaning businesess. Who knows.

I don’t always assume people with clever sounding jobs have got there on merit either!

It keeps you fit cleaning!

I’ve had these reactions too. I’ve mainly worked in higher level jobs, but I have no snobbery at all and in between and when I was a single parent I took any job, including cleaning.

People can be pretty horrified. My friends who have high level jobs remain my friends because they were the ones who didn’t look down on me and never have. In fact some of them though now can’t get their head around that I am working in a higher sector now. It’s as if you can’t clean if you have a brain or a degree.

Good god, doing an honest day's work to supplement your family's income and ensure a better pension sounds to me to be an entirely sensible, worthy thing to do, and those that turn their nose up at cleaners would be the first to complain if somewhere they went wasn't clean !!! The neck of some people !!!

My cleaner might be my favorite person in the world. I would never look down on her, she's amazing. When I read the title I assumed you were an escort or something.

I am confused, though - you said you started cleaning because you were desperate for work, but then went on to say you don't have to work. If you don't have to work, why were you so desperate? If your job makes your feel ashamed and you don't really need it, the logical thing to do would be to quit and find something else.

I clicked YABU as in you shouldn't be embarrassed about what you do. I don't think you should worry about what other people think!

I think some people see cleaning as a 'last resort for people who can;t do anything else' job. I see it as a flexible, physical job that leaves my mind free to think and I can do as many hours as I like. Not done it for years but cleaned in my twenties in between gigs in an artistic profession, so it suited my life then, just as it sounds like it's suiting your life now. It fits in with small children, and it's a significant contribution to the family income while you study. Be proud of all you are achieving.

Here's a list of famous people who weren't too proud to do cleaning work while they planned their careers. If anyone puts you down, it's their imagination that's impoverished.

enviro-drycarpetcleaning.com/famous-people-who-cleaned/

If I go back to work I would prefer a standing up active one for health over a desk job. there was a study showed how much fitter bus conductors were than drivers and it was a lot of difference. I would quite like to be a post woman but they need a car. Quite fancy delivering the mail. I also fancy working for the council in their grounds / gardens

I think part of the ‘stigma’ of cleaning work is that cleaners know about people’s secret sloppiness, and they don’t like that.

Yes, I think you’re right. I try not to think of all the mess and sloppiness my cleaner sees
She also has a habit of folding all my clothes if I’ve left a clean wash out. Including my knickers, which for probably British reasons I find excruciating!

You do an honest job for honest pay and be proud. Society needs cleaners. You are helping meet that need. Sod them!

I've never been a cleaner but I know they can be treated badly (I've worked with people who won't talk to the office cleaner, I've seen people throw rubbish on the floor in front of the people litter picking and I've seen people do the same to the cleaner in McDonalds) I don't understand why though. I assume they're the sort of person who looks down on all service jobs because they're arseholes.

Anyone who looks down on a cleaner isn't a person you want to know/approve of you anyway. Where would we be without cleaners, imagine the state of the whole country if there weren't any. Domestic cleaning helps people to be able to do their jobs/helps their mental health/helps because of disabilities. And you're supporting your family.

You're definitely not scum. You are doing hard work as well as studying, raising DD and running a home. You are teaching DD a work ethic, contributing to the country via your taxes and putting into a pension.
I'd say that you are a remarkable person and if anyone judges you for your job it just makes them look small.

Some people are just arseholes.

I wouldn’t judge anyone for what they do for a living. Besides it’s a job that someone has to do.

I used to work at McDonalds before university and after university. I felt judged.

When I was 17 and working there a woman came up to my colleague and sneered “how many GCSEs do you have then” and he replied with “10” so that soon shut her up.

Anyway, you sound awesome.