To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

You aren't scum.
You provide a service without which some organisations simply couldn't function.
This job does not define you.
My mother was a cleaner when my dad was made redundant in the 80s from a high powered job.
She taught us to be nice to shop assistants, waiters and cleaner.
I'm always nice to cleaners.
They know so much.
Good luck with your studies too.

I hear you OP. They are wrong.

Next time someone says something reply with 'It's much easier and more peaceful to deal with shit in toilets than to deal with the shit that pours out of some peoples brains and mouths.'

Absolutely not scum to me. A cleaner is worth her weight in gold.

I'd much rather work an extra hour doing my job which l enjoy.... to pay her an hour doing her job which she enjoys.... and which l detest doing!!

I work as an NHS cleaner, OP and I often feel the same. I have a degree and planned to do a post graduate course but my personal circumstances changed and I haven't been able to get back to uni yet. I've noticed that often when I tell people that I have a degree, their demeanour totally changes towards me, as if they've realised I'm actually worthy of their respect. But unfortunately, I have realised they're an awful snob by that point.

As others have said it's an honest job and it's absolutely necessary. Doctors and consultants have often mentioned to me that the hospital wouldn't be able to run without cleaners doing their jobs and it's absolutely true! Also I'm on the same pay band as auxiliary nurses but I don't have to deal with the stress they do!

I was expecting so many responses, so thank you to those with reassuring replies.

Inner snobbery?

I've had neignbours/acquaintances suggest I do something else.

My own family ask why I'm doing a menial job- I could "do better".

And if "oh..." followed by an awkward silence means nothing about what I do for a living then maybe I can't read minds.

The job is boring and mind numbing at times, but £250 average per week (yes I do pay tax) I'm glad I'm not claiming UC. Even the advisor I had briefly last year tried to steer me away from this work

I love my cleaner and very very much appreciate she does

Would I want to be a cleaner? No
Do I aspire that my children becomes cleaners? No
Do I think any one ever aspires to become a cleaner? No

So whilst it is an important job - I think we should be honest that it isn’t a job that anyone really would choose. However it seems to pay decently and as the op outlines - affords a fair few positives

Yeah, I get that a lot. I'm a grand sounding night manager, which in reality means I do every department because I'm on my own and 70% of my job is cleaning. I do have other responsibilities, but I'm pretty much viewed as everyone's bitch 🤦‍♀️
However I would love to see the people who turn their noses up at these kinds of jobs actually function if everyone stopped doing them tomorrow. Would they clean their own offices and homes? Their own hotel rooms? Who would serve them at restaurants and bars? Where would they shop?
I find people like that are very reliant on our type of jobs and are very happy to receive the service provided while acting superior and judgemental about it. I realised I don't really care how they view me because I don't value the opinions of people who are that closed minded.
And in all honesty I'm in awe of our housekeeping team, the standard they clean to in the time allotted is magic I'm sure!

People's, obviously.

I may be an uneducated cleaner but I do know where the apostrophe goes

I think you’re projecting. No one thinks you’re scum.

We need cleaners!

You definitely aren't scum. What's wrong with cleaning? It is a productive job where you can see results straight away for your efforts. It's honest work and stress-busting so very good for mental health and well-being because you can get a quick sense of self-achievement from it.

YABU, or rather, they're BU. There is nothing wrong with cleaning, it's a good honest job and I couldn't do it myself. I'm disabled, I have to pay cleaners and they do a marvellous job. Anyone who looks down on you for it is not worth knowing.

Cleaning is a vital job. Imagine if it didn’t get done!

Some people are snobs, fuck ‘em. The money in your bank doesn’t care where it’s come from. Neither does the stuff you buy with it!

Cleaning is a good, honest job. Much better than having ‘your own business’ via a MLM or a lash extension business.

Also agree that you are doing an amazing thing for your daughter. The importance of early learning in nurseries cannot be underestimated, she will be so much better prepared for school and have more confidence as a result.

I’m a doctor now, but I worked for years in a coffee shop. I used to be very amused that the same people who would treat me with great respect at Uni would me like the worst kind of scum in the coffee shop. Fuck those twats, I was living my best life!

Enjoy your money!

My DM was a cleaner. She can still clean better than me and she's in her 80s. Anyway, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a cleaner but in your OP you said you're not going to do it forever. That sounds quite defensive. Maybe that's why you're embarassed.
But there are lots of jobs that people look down on. I remember working in public relations and a journalist friend saying 'everyone hates and looks down on journalists ... and then journalists look down on PRs.' There's always a hierarchy that puts you at the bottom because it's about values and snobbery and they're both subjective.

Same people who need a job title to feel important, they like to show off even if the reality is being miserable in a crap job desperate for Friday to arrive. But they have a business card, they go to "meetings", so they are important.

Look at all the posters who are so nasty and insulting to SAHM on this forum - because apparently if you don't have a decent job you are a second class citizen.

I worked as a cleaner, I am very senior now, I am staying very vague on my real role, I stick to something like "I work in sales". I didn't like to be a cleaner, not because of any stigma but I simply hated the job. I would hate to be a dentist too, it doesn't mean I look down at them.

@lovemenorca
So whilst it is an important job - I think we should be honest that it isn’t a job that anyone really would choose.
My mum chose to do it. She loves cleaning. She can't be the only one.

I think it is a great and useful job to do, and that you are your own boss and running your own business.

You are providing an important service to people as well as keeping yourself fit.

It is an honourable to serve people graciously and a personal psychological achievement to be able to clean for someone else without feeling that your self esteem is so fragile it will shatter.

After all, Jesus washed the feet of the disciples etc etc. No doubt in this day and age he would be a cleaner or work in a call centre.

Perhaps not the only on
But read the last post from OP. “Boring and mind numbing”

I was at a party one day, and a man asked me what I did for a living. His eyes glazed over when I told him I was a cleaner. He murmured "Oh how interesting" and drifted away. Later on I may have accidentally opened my purse and accidentally revealed my Mensa membership card to him...
You should never be ashamed of your work, as long as you do it to the absolute best of your ability.

Do I aspire that my children becomes cleaners? No

Do you aspire that your children become shop assistants or care assistants or wait staff?

Do I think any one ever aspires to become a cleaner? No

Does anyone aspire to be a shop assistant, care assistant or wait staff?

So whilst it is an important job - I think we should be honest that it isn’t a job that anyone really would choose.

And yet, many do exactly that. They choose to be a cleaner. I chose to be a cleaner over being a shop assistant (left my SA job to clean) a waitress or a care assistant (both jobs available to me when I was looking for work)

hun anyone that judges someone based on their job isn't worth knowing

You do an amazing job to support yourself and your family. lt's not gun running, for goodness sake.
lf someone looks down on you for that, that's their problem, not yours. l'd be rubbish at your job because l'm hopeless at housework. l have no routine at all.
Also, as you say, you're studying. You can't fit every job in around that, so you're doing the best for yourself and your family just now.
l recently had a man comment to me at work (l work on a supermarket checkout) "And now you're reduced to this," after l'd mentioned that l used to be in the police before l moved down here.
l'm not 'reduced' to anything, and nor are you. l enjoy chatting to people while l put their shopping through. l'm doing it until l get my state pension, whenever that turns out to be.
Be proud that you're studying to help your family, and that you can sleep at night knowing you're doing an honest day's work. lf someone has a problem with that, that's their problem, not yours.

Always found it so strange when people look down others when it comes to jobs. Surely working is working. Same people will say things like 'better work hard at school or you'll end up working in McDonalds' - like that job isn't worthy? Such a strange attitude

Anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable about your job isn't worth knowing OP

No and no

But read the last post from OP. “Boring and mind numbing”

Much how I would feel about being a (very well paid) dentist.