To feel embarassed/ashamed of what I do for a living?

[Exvagabond]

I'm currently working as a cleaner at £10/hour with an agency in London. I've never cleaned professionally until a few months ago, but I was desperate to find work to support my family.

Whenever someone asks me what I'm doing, I tell them and you can just tell by the look on their face that they don't approve almost as if they feel sorry for me. Why does my job make people uncomfortable?

I dont have to work, my partner supports me but I see it like this;

-My DD (4) gets 30 hours at nursery, socialising with other children and learning what I don't have the time to teach her at home

• I'm bringing money in to the household so that we can put money away for emergencies, a holiday, days out etc.

• I'm putting money in to a private pension

• I'm paying tax

• On top of this I'm a part time student, so I won't do this forever

Why am I scum to some people?

Later on I may have accidentally opened my purse and accidentally revealed my Mensa membership card to him...

whatever makes you feel better, I doubt it had any effect on him though.

So whilst it is an important job - I think we should be honest that it isn’t a job that anyone really would choose. However it seems to pay decently and as the op outlines - affords a fair few positives

So of course some people choose it.

Anyway, the OP didn’t write “I chose to be a cleaner rather than follow my childhood dream of being an astronaut - should I be ashamed?” She just asked whether being a cleaner should make her ashamed, which obviously it shouldn’t because that’s bloody ridiculous.

@lovemenorca

I'm not projecting here, I promise, but I can't stop myself advising a word of caution on the cleaning front with your kids.

My mum refused to let me attend my work experience when I was 16, as I'd taken a look at the list, saw that there were no local options for anything I'd like to do (v rural area), and decided to go for hotel cleaning for a week as the location was convenient, and it was more active than most.

Here's the thing though - I actually volunteered for a cat shelter at university, and cleaning experience is really useful. I learned all sorts of tricks and efficiencies from my time there.

I'm presuming (apologies if I'm wrong) that your kids won't do much cleaning at home, if any, if you have your own cleaner. I would recommend letting them or even encouraging them to have the experience, because it really is useful to know how!

(for the record it is an absolute secret that I have a cleaner because my mum would sneer endlessly, but my parents' home is absolutely filthy!)

Same people will say things like 'better work hard at school or you'll end up working in McDonalds' - like that job isn't worthy?

not the same

let's be honest, you wish the best for your kids, and there are more interesting jobs to do than working in a fast food joint. There are jobs you do to pay bills, and a career where you actually enjoy yourself, gives you financial freedom, and a good life. No one wishes for their kids to be stuck in a job.

There’s nothing wrong with being a cleaner.

Have you ever seen maid in manhattan? Their is a quote at the end given by the head butler..... have a watch.
I personally believe cleaners are the most hard working people out there and I have the utmost respect for your profession.
If someone doesn’t, that is more a poor reflection on them than you.
You’re being an amazing, hard working honest mum, you should be so proud that you are setting such a wonderful example to your DC.

All you people saying no one should be ashamed for being a cleaner or shop worker. You are all telling how you put people in their place by showing that you are more than just a clear ner shop worker. So you are an award winning writer, member of mensa, a doctor at uni or have 10 gcse's. Which actually proves the point you all feel you need to show you are more than 'just' a cleaner or shop worker.

is it just me or don't you think these I personally believe cleaners are the most hard working people out there and I have the utmost respect for your profession. extremely patronising?

Again, I have worked as a cleaner, I am not ashamed but neither did I enjoy it.

If someone told me they were a cleaner my initial reaction might be ewww/hmm. But I would say the same if someone was a coroner (dead bodies...), chirpododist (hate feet), an GUM HCP (who'd want to work with peoples bits all day!) or a teacher (not keen on other peoples children, especially teens!) to name a few.

@Freddiefatpants you're right. In an office I worked in the office cleaner and the office manager were off for two weeks at the same time. The place nearly went into meltdown. Because the CLEANER was off and they'd stopped using an agency so there was no replacement, it was expected everyone would chip in...No one cared the manager was off. Everyone was panicking about the cleaner being off though, no one knew which outside him was ours, no one knew where the cleaning spray was, no one knew which day the bins went out, the plants nearly died, there were arguments over who was washing up, someone wanted to start a rota (for a fortnight). She was really appreciated though, invited to work things and personal things, bought Christmas and birthday gifts etc because everyone knew how valuable she was. A place I worked before there were some twats who would even talk to the cleaners!

I haven't got a cleaner but I'd absolutely love one. I think most people would so I don't know why they have shitty attitudes. Maybe because you get paid for doing what they have to do for free

Sorry should have added, just because I really hate cleaning.

Which actually proves the point you all feel you need to show you are more than 'just' a cleaner or shop worker.

personally I think I am more than my job, any job. I am the same when I am a cleaner, when I was home with my kids, when I was redundant, when I am working now. I don't use my job to define who I am. So yes, I am more than the role I am doing to pay the bills, however senior that might be.

I always smile and am nice to cleaners as I was one briefly and it was hard work! ( I was nice to them before as well , just extra nice now! ) I am also polite to anyone in retail / hospitality etc etc. It's a tough job.
my employer thought I could do everything in half an hour or less and have it all gleaming. I think not! I didn't last long , so well done to you for working hard and keeping at it. I could not handle the pressure at all and the expectations were so high!
We need people to do these jobs the same as we need anyone and everyone to do everything! Without cleaners the world be a horrible dirty place and your also vital for infection control! Mega important.
Hold your head up.

Oh OP, those people who think less of you for being a cleaner are worthless! Good for you for working at whatever you choose. I reckon that people who work, and particularly those who work in low-paid or mucky jobs are the mutt's nuts!

I make a point of acknowledging and thanking people who work bloody hard at jobs a lot of people turn their noses up at, e.g. loo attendants, street sweepers and so on. I think far more of the people who get off their arses and work at cleaning up other people's mess than those who make the mess in the first place. I can't think of anyone I know who thinks otherwise.

I'm a huge fan of the welfare state but deplore how it's perceived as a lifestyle choice by some people who'd rather sit on their arses than work, and have the gall to despise certain types of work. They're probably the same people who are sniffy with you!

Honestly OP, you're a diamond. Hold your head up high girl. You've absolutely nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about. You're worth more than the whole lot of the judgemental scrum put together.

I'm a matched bettor OP. You haven't been judged until someone judges you for saying you do that as a job.

Some people are aware of what it entails and are usually fascinated. Most people don't have a clue and think I spend my days gambling and in casinos. Or am breaking the law in some way.

Also been judged for being a cleaner, a barmaid, working in Burger King, direct sales and marketing, telesales.

The only job I have ever done which I wasn't judged for was when I was a Financial Advisor for a high street bank. Thing was out of every job I have ever done it was the shadiest, most immoral, most soul destroying. People are strange.

you were desperate for work

Yeah I don't have to work as my partner fully supports me but in order to get the funded hours I need to work. Really, I would go crazy being a sahp and I want my daughter to socialise with children her age. Not many opportunities for my daughter to meet other 3/4 year olds. They're at nursery

Don't worry, your job is incredibly important, and people who try to put you down about it in any way aren't worth your time.

At the end of the day, we need clean office buildings, schools and hospitals. You're helping keep us safe and healthy, doing work that we would otherwise have to do, and probably not half as well (I think cleaning is a skilled job when done properly, knowing about all the equipment and different cleaning solutions etc).

NEVER, ever be ashamed of providing for your family.

I have a friend who is a cleaner, and she was convinced that I didn't like her because I have a well paid job (but not as important as a cleaner, I don't think - I write websites - we can do without them easily) and she is a cleaner.

It was nothing to do with that. She's always been an absolute bitch, and I was only tolerating her because of the dynamics of the friendship group. I made it clear that it wasn't her job that was the issue!

So not desperate in that sense, but at least I can pay my (small) debts off

@JosefKeller you just have a chip on your shoulder.

is it just me or don't you think these I personally believe cleaners are the most hard working people out there and I have the utmost respect for your profession. extremely patronising?

Not just you. There are far harder (and worse paid) jobs than cleaning.

I have been lurking on Mumsnet for ages, and your post was the one that made me sign up. I can't believe anyone would make you feel bad for being a cleaner. I am self employed and there have been times I've started looking for a side job when income is down. I've looked at cleaning jobs and thought - no. Not because there's anything wrong with it but because I can imagine it's really hard work and I've gotten too lazy with my stay at home job.

If people look down on you for working an honest job, that says far more about them than it does about you.

Nothing wrong with cleaning, it’s often flexible hours, fits ar0und children and good exercise too.

That said, my mum cleaned houses when I was little and in the school holidays I would be taken along to play with the children of the household, who often treated me pretty poorly. I think it probably contributed to my fuck you attitude about snobbery!

Sorry, meant to type scum not scrum 🙄.

All you people saying no one should be ashamed for being a cleaner or shop worker. You are all telling how you put people in their place by showing that you are more than just a clear ner shop worker

A few people have taken that attitude. I haven’t, and neither have others on the thread.

@JosefKeller you have completely misunderstood what I was saying.