To expect to have sex and some degree of happiness 2 years into a marriage?

[yankey]

I think my problems come from the fact that although I had a big crush on my dh I dont think I ever 'fell for him'. I wanted a family and so did he in the end we decided to make a go of it...get married and have a baby. We haven't had sex since I was pregnant (nearly 2 years ago now). This is entirely the choice of my dh, he never was that fussed (complete opposite of me), then he said it was becasue I was pregnant, then it just slipped out of discussions. I got a couple glances recently by an attractive man (friend of ours) and this has sent my mind wandering. I knew I was unhappy before but not I am thinking, where do we go from here? How will I make this work? Do I get to be happy? Do I need to be head of heals in love with him, because I am not and don't think I ever was. Thing is I don't want to a single parent famiy I grew up in one and they are pretty tough (mainly financially). Can anyone save me from feeling quite so down today?

jooleybee - my friend has not had sex with her husband for 8 years. the last time was the conception of tjier DD2. ANd things were clearly bad before that as they referred to her affectionately as the immaculate conception.

joleeybee - 4years without sex OMG I couldn't do it. Don't get me wrong I went 2years without it once but I was suffering with depression and nothing and I mean nothing could motivate me to do ANYTHING.

Could your DH be depressed? If not I would seriously wonder why and ask him why he doesn't want it?

I went through a phase with my DH where I didn't want sex but I was suffering with depression. I eventually done something about my depression and now our sex life is really good .

I would like to point out that it may not be depression in every case.
I do believe that some people are a-sexual, not interested in a sex life at all.
Which is absolutely fine if they are honest about that at the start of a relationship, or stay single.

But it is very difficult in a relationship where one partner does have a more 'usual' sex drive.