Were you spanked or hit growing up in the '80s (or earlier)?

[SilverSurfer2020]

I grew up in the 80s and while I was only "spanked" once by a male teacher at primary school and never spanked or hit by my parents (that I can recall) ... I was very aware of the ever present talk of rulers, canes, hitting at the rural primary school I attended, of stories of older children having been hit, and on too of that my older siblings were hit occasionally by my parents.

Was this normal for the time?
I always got the impression it was fairly normal for people a bit older than me, and further back.

I wonder what impact it had on their (and our) perception of physical violence within families, partners etc.

What do you think?

Aibu - no, it was not common.
Aibu - yes, it was common.

(The impact question is not part of this aibu just looking for additional opinions. Maybe I could do a separate aibu for it).

Growing up in 80s is a stretch as I was born late 80s but I did get the odd smack off my parents for bad behaviour. Nothing excessive (although the only incidences I really remember are the ones I felt were a bit unfair because what I did wrong was an accident!). Wasn't in school til 90s and then it wasn't allowed.

Ps I was smacked occasionally at home. Only hard twice by my dad. Once for calling my mum a bitch and once for slapping mum back after she slapped me. I don't bear any grudges 😁

I was born in the early 80s, I was never hit or smacked by anyone. My parents for all their faults, detested the notion of hitting children and we were spoken to about the impact of negative behaviour.

I was born in the early 70’s and have never been hit by a parent or teacher. I remember my best friend once being slapped across the face by her mother as a young teenager and being really shocked that she would do that to her daughter. I also recall hearing about some children getting ‘the cane’ in primary school which is heartbreaking

I was born in '79. None of my teachers smacked me although my very first teacher did smack some of the boys in class and was fired for it years later.

My Dad never smacked me, I suspect my mother made up for his share. No harm done.

Born in the early 70's and I recall being slapped with a metre stick for relatively minor stuff.This was full whack, at least ten slaps every time and I've really never forgiven the teacher, I see her socially on occasions and cold shoulder her. I've never mentioned it to her and don't really feel inclined to.

Born in the 60's, belted around the head mostly by my mom. My ears used to ring for hours after... Needless to say my hearing not brilliant now. I was shook by the shoulders by one primary school teacher when I was about 8 so much that I wet myself. I'd bloody sue both of them if it was today. 😠

Sorry for those confused by the voting - I meant;

YABU - my experience of primary school as somewhere that kids got hit occasionally in the 80s (and apparently much more before the 80s) and home as somewhere that kids got hit occasionally is not common/normal.

YANBU - it is common/normal.

I know this covers schoolnand home which is messy.be abuse some people had contrasting rather than consistent experiences of the two - but I'd have to start a while new thread if I separate them now.

*because

Born late 60s. Frequently hit by parents, sometimes by grandparents and aunt. Can't remember any reason for it as I was a very quiet child and well behaved, too scared not to be! I do remember the fear of being hit and the shame when it was done in public.
I was never hit in school but I remember it happening. In primary school the headteacher used to belt all the kids who had 'misbehaved' during the week at Friday assembly. I still remember rows of white faced infants (4 yrs plus) waiting for their punishment and their tears after.
This thread is so depressing, especially the comments about it not doing harm. Of course it does!

This thread is so depressing, especially the comments about it not doing harm. Of course it does!

Why would you think that? Why do you consider your opinion to be more valid than personal testimony?

What's odd on my experience of home is that we were v rarely (to my memory) hit i.e. spanked, but on the two occasions when one or more of us were hit - it crossed over to child abuse and assault.

On one my father got a stick/broom shaft and I think he hit one of more of my sisters around the legs (and maybe bum, I think just legs) .. I don't remember as I was v young, I was lined up to be next and ran out of the house in terror.

It was to make one of us admit to stealing my mum's money tin for a club she was part of - she later found it down the back of a chest of drawers.
(My second eldest sister had, for whatever reason, stolen from a neighbour's home and from her paper round .. and also the next sister had taken a few small bits of jewellery from my granny and mum and given them to school friends she wanted to gain favour with so I think.it was always assumed we were thieves).

The other incident, my sister (one who stole from neighbour & paper round) who ignored curfews and drank/smoked etc pretty young broke he'd curfew on holiday, my father attacked - best word - her, including kicking. My mother intervened but as i said above nothing else happened. I was v young, I have a photo from the same holiday of my dad gently helping me across an obstacle course - life is strange.

*in my experience of home "hitting"

*her curfew

My sister has given my parents quite a few grey hairs by that point, but it was still totally wrong and taunts my memory of my father.

*taints

I was born in '85. Smacked at home by my dad mostly, threatened with it more than anything. I too would have said "never did me any harm" until I had my own children and realised the very real harm it did. People don't like to admit that though.

I abhor vilolence towards children of any kind and am quite dogmatic about it. Due to early conditioning violence definitely comes natural to me, so I had to work very hard to break the cycle - as a lot of people who were hit as child will understand - but it definitely can be done. Luckily I live in a country where it is now outlawed. There's absolutely no reason to hit a child ever - no exceptions.

I was born 1981 and I can remember being smacked a few times by my Mum but only lightly and she never did with my younger sister born 92.

This thread is so depressing, especially the comments about it not doing harm. Of course it does!

But many pp, including myself, have said it didn't.

It unequivocally causes harm. Streams of research supports that it does. Anyone who thinks otherwise is probably in self-preservation mode.

I think it must do harm. I'm not really close to my father, not at all to my mother. It's hard to say if it's because of physical violence or if they are colder people more inclined to the type of cold parenting that sees it as a virtue therefore we could not have ever been close anyway.

@FourTeaFallOut my opinion also comes from personal testimony. Others' opinions are not less valid.

primary school in the late 70s and got the slipper on more than one occasion , first time was when i was 8

all boys grammar school I can remember a whole form of 30, bar 3 kids getting the slipper on one occasion , various masters wouldnt think twice about hitting you or pulling your hair and shaking you

My parents would regularly smack us as kids if we were out of line and my dad would beat the shit out of me when i was in my teens and even took a horse whip to me on more than one occasion

Dealing with the emotional aftermath of all that now and beginning to understand who i am , I have lost both parents now and made a conscious decision not to have kids years ago as I didnt want them to experience anything like that

I was a child in the 70s and left school in 88. It was very common at my middle school for kids to get the slipper or the cane although, heartbreakingly, it was always the same boys getting hit. The threat was always there though it never happened to me. When I was doing GCSE the French teacher used to throw a hard wooden board rubber at your head if you said something wrong. The same teacher also once dangled a boy out of a first floor window as punishment for sitting on the window ledge. This teacher was in his late 60s. It's bonkers to think that this happened and nobody batted an eyelid. My mum was a teacher during the 80s and she remembers a.little boy being brought to the front of the hall and caned in front of the whole school. Barbaric.

I dont recall being hit at home but i was threatened with it, "If you do that again I'll smack your arse..."