I'm feeling (possibly unreasonably) irritated with one of my close-ish friends. We've been friends for about 8 years, are fairly close and our two oldest sons (12 yrs) are really good friends too. As families we get on well, though we are from different cultures. We used to hang out a lot together when our children were younger, and we've met up on holiday etc since then.
The annoying thing she keeps doing, though, is that often when she invites us to her place, she also invites other families - and she doesn't tell me either at all or only when I push her. This weekend is the first time we've seen them over the Christmas holidays. She invited us to go for lunch, we talked about what food to bring, I offered to make a main course that would serve all of us (7 in total)... but I just had a feeling... It turns out she also invited another family. We've never met them before, they have three children under the age of 6 (ours are 9 and 12). I'm sure they are perfectly nice but I feel really put out. It feels like we aren't enough for her, that she's got to add to the party. She had plenty of chances to tell me - like when we were planning the food - but she didn't. I'm a fairly sociable person but TBH it's a different proposition going to spend the day with a group of 12 people, including 6 children (including 3 under 6) rather than with close friends. It's not nearly as relaxing a prospect.
From her POV she thinks we'd all get on fine together, and, as she's started working full-time recently she doesn't get as many chances to see people, so she groups the invites together. She tends to treat these things a bit like networking too, which is annoying.
This isn't the first time she's done this - at least 2 other times we've turned up at her place and she's invited other people as well. Or she'll propose a trip somewhere for (I think) me and her and our children... then she'll turn up with her husband and another child (doing a favour for a neighbour) in tow. It isn't a big deal I guess - but it changes the dynamics, and isn't what I was expecting.
So AIBU? Probably I just have to make a point of asking her every time she invites us who's going to be there
YABU = it's up to your friend who she invites to her house / event, chill out and enjoy the party
YANBU = she should tell me up front if she's inviting other people, and then I can decide if I still want to go or not - or at least be mentally prepared.