To take my handbag to bed?

[hellcarryingahandbag]

Hi all,
I have always put everything I will need or want in my handbag, and taken it to bed, or the room I’m going to sit in. I am not in good health, so I like to have everything with me. The thing is that I put things in my bag that I want to put in a different room, or that I want to have handy, I don’t go out with the cordless landline in my handbag or anything . My grandmother has always done the same thing, and my mother thinks it’s lunacy. I am never without my handbag, as I feel better knowing everything I need is easily accessible. Are my grandmother and I right or is my mother?

My handbag never leaves me. It means I’m trained to never forget it because if I get up I instantly look for my bag to take it with me.

Don't leave your handbag in the car!

I only ever did it once by accident, when wrestling a toddler, and the car was broken into and bag taken. Police found it ages later a few streets away, with most stuff removed.

I agree with what Batqueen said. It's also handy to have everything you need in one place if you need to leave the house in a hurry. All my keys are near the door, though.

I'm with you and your grandmother. I do the same. I probably shouldn't admit to this but I used to have to stay in hotels on my own for work which I hate and I would put my handbag under the bed covers in case someone broke into the room 😬

I don't have a handbag or a car.

How have I survived all these years?

Hi @Merryweather80,
You are completely right, although I have only encountered help when I have fallen and dropped everything out of my handbag and shopping bags. And it’s always the ones who don’t look respectable that help. Although, I do feel very vulnerable when I fall, because someone could just walk up and steal the contents of my bags. It’s terrible, isn’t it?

I usually bring my bag upstairs with me. Its just easier the next day when getting stuff ready for work and I would rather keep my car keys upstairs anyway.

I just use my pockets for stuff as I rarely need more than phone and house keys (plus gloves in winter) and that all fits in my coat. But your handbag system sounds very smart and clever OP! You keep on keeping on.

I used to get upset if my husband decided to look in my handbag for keys etc. without asking first. He now asks permission because he knows better. He would hate it if I started to look in his wallet or go through his pockets without asking first.

I'm completely shocked. I thought that everyone took their handbag to bed with them.

Mine has my phone, keys, purse, tissues, medication, inhaler, book, pen, charger lead, a power bank, hairbrush, glasses in it amongst other things. I can't imagine leaving it downstairs when I go to bed!

@Damntheman awww thanks!

I used to get upset if my husband decided to look in my handbag for keys etc. without asking first. He now asks permission because he knows better. He would hate it if I started to look in his wallet or go through his pockets without asking first.

See, I find that wierd! He’s your husband, you have the closest relationship with him that you have with anyone, presumably! Why do you need to keep your handbag private from him?

I find it a bit old fashioned. DH always says “i don’t like going in your handbag” when he’s looking for some change and I tell him to get it out my purse. It doesn’t bother me, but clearly he was brought up with the notion that a lady’s handbag was private, maybe because it might contain tampons etc? I don’t know....

By the way, DH isn’t ever bothered if I need to go in his wallet or pockets for something, so I don’t know why he thinks I’d be precious about him going in my bag.

I keep tissues, hairbrush, pens, charger on or in my bedside table. Makeup and moisturiser in my bathroom. I know my shopping passwords so rarely need to fetch my credit card. I only keep things in my handbag that I need when I go out really which is why it's near the door.

Everyone is different but I'm surprised people have their bag nearby in their own home. Nothing wrong with it but it's really never occurred to me that people do this. It makes sense if you have limited mobility though.

@CurlyhairedAssassin

Well just because he is my husband doesn't mean he can use my stuff without asking permission first. He once used my toothbrush while on holiday because he had forgot his and I threw it away and purchased a new one. This is just the way I am and somebody else would not have minded but I am very particular about my stuff.

Def bring it to bed - it has my make up in it. Plus meds if I don’t have them handy in my bedside drawer. Oh and car keys are safely away from any potential thieves as it’s keyless entry - I left my car with my dad recently and he kept the key near the front door, someone tried to break in so could easily have lost the car. Thankfully the windows were locked so they couldn’t enter.

Being married doesn't mean I've given up all rights to privacy. I sometimes tell DH to look in my bag for something (although he can never find it) but I wouldn't want him rooting round in there without asking. I also shut the bathroom door for privacy. I've got nothing to hide but it's the principle.

Yes, it's weird, but there is (to me) something intensely personal and intimate about one's handbag (and purse actually) and I am happy for my DH or DD to go into it, but only if they had asked me first. Same for DD. I don't know if I have inherited this feeling from my foremothers or not, because it is a bit irrational. All of the same items laid out on the table wouldn't have the same effect on me though.

If they’re going in there for something that they need, though, presumably that item is a kind of communal family item anyway. It’s not like they’re going to get your diary and go noseying through, is it? (Well, I’m going they wouldn’t).

It’s not about being married or not. It’s about knowing someone intimately, trusting them implicitly and being part of the same household. So, if they needed some, I don’t know, paracetamol and knew I always kept some in my bag, then I wouldn’t really expect them to call to me if I was in the shower asking for permission to go in my bag and get some. Although they would tell me afterwards “by the way I took 2 paracetamol from your bag.”

I’m sure no-one else in the family but me would have the slightest interest in what’s in my handbag: purse, glasses, makeup, umbrella, spare sanitary towel, medication, my cheque book etc. There is nothing juicy there that a houseful of males would be interested in unless they were secretly cross-dressing. Maybe when I have stashed a couple of tena ladies I may feel differently!

I do remember when I was young being at family gatherings with elderly ladies with handbags at their feet and pre-schoolers (who seem fascinated with looking inside bags ) being told by them “ooh, no, don’t touch! It’s rude to go through a lady’s handbag.”

Surely they should have just said “ooh, no, that’s not yours, it’s not good manners to look through someone else’s bag”, as if you’re going to enforce a rule about “going through” someone else’s belongings it should apply equally to men and women.

I wouldn't look through a man's bag either. Maybe I am unusually secretive.

Interesting you phrase it as “I wouldn’t look through” which implies that you are just having a nosey, rather than “I wouldn’t look in a bag for x item”.

Anyway, i,have derailed the thread, sorry, OP.

I wouldn't look for a specific item in anyone's bag without permission. Is that better?

@CaptainMyCaptain you’re 1000000% right! It’s a basic human right to privacy!

I must admit I never thought of taking my handbag into the bedroom with me until my house was broken into overnight. Of course they searched my bag and got a hold of my house keys, car keys, purse with driving licence and bank cards. They stole my almost new car because they had no problem driving away in it. The handbag comes to the bedroom at night now.

Bump