New housemate

[NewYearsRevolution2020]

We are 4 people living in a 3 bed terrace. One of th edownstairs living rooms is used as a bedroom - the other living room is shared living space.

New hsemate has moved a lot of big furniture and her stuff into shared living room and 'designed' it so it has gone from a bare but spacious room with a sofa, bookcase and some bits and pieces to a very clutterd room with desk, wardrobe, paintings on wall, wall hangings, etc. The two bikes that are used in the house are also keot in there. We also use it hang our washing when it is drying.

The romm is no longer usable in any practical sense - it is too clutterd to realx in and some of the furniture is so cumbersome it just makes you want to close the door. I have been here a long time, she has been here 6 months and did this without saying anything to anyone. Other hsemates are new, dont have much stuff and havent said anything.

She has also done the same to the garden. I mentioned several times that I want to do veg. She planted flowers all over the borders, and in every single space in the harden and left me a narrow space about 3 inches wide to use.

In her defence she is enthusiastic and some of here stuff is nice but when I look in the drawers and cupboards in the living room (it's for us all!) it is full of her stuff. She has also taken a huge cupboard upstairs that is originally for everyone.

She is not easy to approach, has seemingly already got te other female housemate eating out of her hand. She is not here much but I just feel she has used the communal spaces as a dumping ground for her stuff at our expense.

I have a large room so keep everything up here but feel that I shouldn't have to keep my fixed exercise bike/printer. etc in my room if we have lost the living room to her stuff.

AIBU?

@Scarscar I wonder. I definitely worry about the fire hazard and whether that would invalidate a policy?

If it cannot be stored in her room then it must be removed (furniture). That room is a cluttered mess and is no longer fit for purpose. She has to realise this is not an additional storage room for her stuff but a communal space FOR EVERYONE. If she wants another room then she should rent one for her personal lounge area. She can put all her stuff in there as she will be paying for it.
As to the garden, choose a space for your veg, tell her you are using it. Then do it and stop procrastinating about it. If digging is going to be hard work then use raised planters and pots for your veg.

@Ross

Yes, ma’am!

Oh dear - contact landlady and complain?

If it's storage, pop your bike and printer in there.
Otherwise the rule should be everyone keeps all their stuff in their rooms.
If they've got too much, not the other's issue

I consider myself a pretty good gardener but sometimes plants just ... fail. No explanation for it. Other than the boiling water applied after dark.

@recrudescence I like where you are going with this. Similar thoughts have crossed my mind...

Well, if anyone is still following this thread, we have just had a house meeting.

I am moving out asap.

What happened? Hope you're ok

Thank you @Blindspotfan. I am going to take those flowers.

I am speechless. Just speechless. And we didn't even talk about the living room! (brushed over).

Currently on spareroom planning my escape!

What was the turning point? Have they all sided with her?

No, it was briefly raised by someone else and then there was some mumbling and we moved on to the 7 point itinerary [shocked]

The long and the short of it is a familiar problem: a lack of comprehension when it comes to regarding money and the legal bills we have to pay. Couple that with living in a world where these things are decided very much on how someone feels about paying bills and their belief they shouldn't have to pay money to a government they don't support, etc, etc.

I am too old and tired for this. I always end up out of pocket as trying to reason/use logic/provide evidence just bounces off their invisible shield of divine truth back on to me.

I think the bikes should be in the back garden, they'll be tracking dirt in. They're the thing that looks worst & take up most room. If you don't think the other housemates will back you up, just use it as storage too. It looks awful, it's not a nice relaxed space where you could chill or watch a movie etc.

She wants the bigger room.

Other housemates not paying their portion of bills isn't on. Could you speak to the landlady?

There are two women and a guy and the two women (who have known each other about 7 weeks) are now very chummy. Guy is lovely, very quiet and easy-going. I, too, am quiet and easy going and happy to go with the flow so I am bewildered where snidey, underhand comments are coming from. I really feel like I am dealing with someone with no boundaries and someone very manipulative.

I am disabled and have problems with my leg. When walking on the wooden stairs I am noisier than most as I drag my leg. She made a horrible comment about my 'stomping'.

Time to leave, I think

@TechnicalSergeantGarp
Yes, I agree particularly as it is not much more than the other rooms.

I think she wants to be in charge and the others are timid so she feels comfortable with them.

Some bizarre stuff has gone on this house and the landlady won't get involved or be consistent so I think that is a cause.

And, before anyone suggests it as it is also what I would think - if I am the common denominator with problems then it must be caused by me but I have come to the conclusion that it is the opposite - that I am too easygoing and just being taken advantage off (largely because of this new disability which compromises me somewhat).

What?

What bills?!

Stomping

@MrsPelligrino

Yes

Council tax primarily but there is a problem with the electricity bill as someone is putting the heating on a lot during the day and that is adding up. But to listen to the conversation was to hear the two women say totally different things and have totally different views
on the right way to do things and finish without actually agreeing on anything and contradicting one another yet leave with the sense of having sorted things out and everything being ok while I think I am being pulled in to be the scapegoat?

It is bonkers.

Sorry, that didn't make sense. It is weird shit/game playing stuff.

You’re not unreasonable but I get the impression you feel you have more right to the room as you’ve been there longer you’ve mentioned twice that you’ve been there a long time, however you don’t own it and she has a much right to the room and garden as you do. Having said that it’s very rude of her to just dump her stuff in without consulting the household

@Decidewhattobeandgobeit

I agree completely that it should equal to all - I really don't hold any view my time in the house gives any bonus on that front.

Oh it sounds very stressful OP, you have my sympathy. House shares can become awful with the wrong people.

Are they objecting to paying their fair share of bills now? Sorry I didn't quite follow that bit?

@AbsentmindedWoman yes!

My apologies to everyone for the confusing posts but I am writing it out first and then realised that I might be too revealing about other people.

Nothing is actually decided re: bills. Someone is going to look into it!

I think the bigger problem is really that she is one of those people who does very little but then says no one else does stuff and we all need to make more effort.

I could weep.

Tell her that after your surgery you are expecting to be incontinent and vomiting for a while - is she OK with her stuff getting splattered or would she like to move it?

Then move out.

@Secret

Ha!

I have just looked at contract and am tied in until the end of May. Might speak to landlady.

This house is worthy of a novel. It really is. I will never live with artists again.