Bed wetting guest

[Tigerzmum]

My sister had a friend who had a guest with an 11 year old boy child and a 2 year old; The boy was bedded on her new mattress work circa £400.00 just new and wet it. The mother neither merely said sorry; But the hostess is very upset and has not voiced this to her guest; I told my sister that she [the hostess] should seek to claim for damages for the cost of replacement of the mattress from the guests home insurance policy AIBU? Considering, the mattress cannot be washed or dry-cleaned, further the guest did not seek to ensure the mattress was protected, knowing her son had the potential to wet the bed. I personally would have been livid, now the hostess has either to live with the smell or replace the mattress at her on expense.

I don't understand why so many of you have waterproof mattress protectors. They are horrible to sleep on, no matter what you put on top of them, cause overheating and for anyone with eczema, they really aggravate it. A normal protector, yes - but these masses of waterproof ones? I'm not sure I believe it.

There seem to be a lot of people on here thinking it’s the host’s fault, and they too would walk away with just a sorry and leaving the host to either have to buy a new one or pay out on insurance excess (no amount of cleaning will get it back to how it was)

You can get perfectly nice waterproof ones that aren't hot or rubbery and have a soft cotton top to them. No different to normal sheets.

It should have had a mattress protector, however...

The mother should have brought nappies and a mattress protector with her as her child is a bed wetter. Or decline staying over.

The mother should offer to replace the mattress.

I would be ick at having to live with a urine soaked mattress and would chuck it.

Is the 11 y/o a known bed wetter or was this a one off accident?

If the former, I'd expect the mother to have made appropriate arrangements (mattress protector or let you your sister's friend know).

How bizarre that people think its the hosts fault!

DS had a friend that occasionally wet the bed and his mum discretely supplied a waterproof protector and spare duvet and clothes.

We have mattress protectors on our mattresses but not waterproof ones as I get too hot as does MIL who is the regular user of our spare room.

Unless warned it would never occur to me that anyone over the age of 6 needed waterproofs.

If one of my DC had the accident I'd offer to have the mattress cleaned. Same as I've replaced broken dishes when DC dropped them.

The thing about a pissed soaked mattress is even when you dry it and get rid of the smell on the top the piss has sunk down through several layers so it's just sitting in the middle, especially if it's memory foam.

While an ordinary mattress protector can cope with period leakage and some lumpy sick quite adequately, it’s not going to cope with a full bladder of wee from an 11 year old. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have continence issues who has a waterproof mattress protector on their bed. The child’s mother should at least offer for the mattress to be professionally cleaned. I’ve had this happen with a friend’s child who stayed - there was no apology, just “oh she does that sometimes.” Said child was 10 - there was a huge amount of pee and we ended up getting rid of the mattress. The ordinary quilted mattress protector offered no protection at all.

If you or your child are serial bed wetters you should take mattress protectors with you when visiting other people imo

And I mean a waterproof one

Assuming that this wasn't the first time the 11 year old has wet the bed it is very poor form of the mother not to bring a waterproof mattress protector - I'm sure the 11 year old is very embarrassed about this problem but the mum could have brought a wp mattress protector and sheet and out it over the existing sheet and the host would have had to have been told about the problem.

As it is I'm sure the 11 year old is mortified and the host is left with an unpleasant problem.

Most people would have a mattress protector but Alot of people don't like waterproof ones (cheap ones are sweaty and expensive ones are very costly esp for a guest bed). Still a normal sheet and mattress protector would have absorbed most of the urine I think so thd host was silly not having one.

I'm sure if the mattress was professionally cleaned it would get put most of the urine. Throwing away thd mattress is idiotic.

I'd get a few quotes for getting it cleaned and then I'd send a message to the mum saying 'thankfully the urine smell has gone but it cost me £100 (with picture of bill'. I would hope a friend would take the hint and offer to pay, if they didn't it would really affect the friendship.

Should have said, the host wouldn't have needed to know about the problem

If you or your child are serial bed wetters you should take mattress protectors with you when visiting other people imo

Totally agree, if it's happened in the last 12 months whatever your age you shouldn't take the risk.

That said because of this thread I'm not going to ever assume a child over say 4 doesn't wet the bed anymore as they obviously do.

I’m sorry, the OP is fairly indecipherable in terms of who actually did or did not do what, so I haven’t a clue who is or isn’t being unreasonable tbh 🤷🏻‍♀️

I told my sister that she [the hostess] should seek to claim for damages for the cost of replacement of the mattress from the guests home insurance policy
What section of a guest's Home Insurance policy would cover this?

I don't understand why the mattress can't be cleaned? I'd hire a Rug Doctor and use the upholstery part of it to clean the mattress. Costs £25 to hire for 24 hours plus cost of detergent. Then I'd put on a mattress protector when dry ( as there should have been in the first place).

It would be nice if the friend offered to pay for the mattress to be cleaned but accidents do happen.

You really can’t clean a wee soaked mattress, it will have soaked right into the middle of it and no dabbing it with cloths or using a rug doctor is getting as far into it as required, it’s not the same as cleaning a carpet which is a couple of centimetres deep.

None of my children have been dry at night at 2! Why did the mother not put a nappy on her child?! I feel torn as I do think that was irresponsible of the mum but were I in your sisters position I might not challenge.

I had a situation where DD's friend who was known to be a heavy drinker wet the bed on a new mattress and as he was 22 I did make him buy a new one and also sent him an email saying he should let this be a warning sign and a link to a site about alcohol abuse: he took it well, was mortified, was earning good money and I never told his parents though they're friends of mine. All in all no regrets about that and all still friends. But at age 2 I don't know what I'd do.