Bed wetting guest

[Tigerzmum]

My sister had a friend who had a guest with an 11 year old boy child and a 2 year old; The boy was bedded on her new mattress work circa £400.00 just new and wet it. The mother neither merely said sorry; But the hostess is very upset and has not voiced this to her guest; I told my sister that she [the hostess] should seek to claim for damages for the cost of replacement of the mattress from the guests home insurance policy AIBU? Considering, the mattress cannot be washed or dry-cleaned, further the guest did not seek to ensure the mattress was protected, knowing her son had the potential to wet the bed. I personally would have been livid, now the hostess has either to live with the smell or replace the mattress at her on expense.

I’m convinced I’ve read this or something very very similar before ? Or maybe I’m going bonkers.

What?! The poor kid wet the bed, possibly the first time in years, could have been weirded out by being in a different bed, didn’t know where the loo was, anything really. It’s potentially a one off. I’d imagine if he was a regular the mum would have been prepared.

I literally don’t see this as a big deal - you clean the bed, air it, flip it. My ds mattress is more than £400 and I wasn’t that bothered when he had had an accident on it and I’d forgotten the mattress protector. If my friend offered to buy me a new mattress I’d think she’d lost the plot and similarly, whilst I would apologise profusely if my kid had an accident, I wouldn’t buy a new mattress!

All my beds have waterproof mattress protector then cotton one. Never know when adult or child may take sick and soil the bed.

I think that the mother of the guest should have said in advance that her child sometimes wet the bed (assuming that it's the 11 -year-old; with a 2-year-old, I think that could just be assumed!) But at the same time, if the hostess has a new, hard-to-wash, expensive mattress, then it was unwise to use if for a guest, especially a child, without a protective cover. Even if it was a child who never wet the bed, he could have spilled something, or just been playing outside and failed to wash all the mud off afterwards! Something similar once happened to me, not with a bedwetting child, but with an adult whose period came unexpectedly early. She apologized, and I just accepted it and considered that ultimately I was the one most at fault for not protecting the mattress sufficiently, and learned to do so for next time! Can the hostess perhaps claim from her own home-and-contents insurance?

And no the mum shouldnt have to pay. Claim on house insurance ffs if the person is that bothered

We have protectors on all our mattresses adult and child for reasons already cited. Your sister is at fault here. Poor child, not his fault and the parent will no doubt be mortified.

Why on earth did you have a mattress without a protection. Your sister sounds like a horrible friend. Have to be made up as normal person be this awful. Things happen. I remember having a bad period at mil and she was lovely. My lovely dh told her as i was too worried. She said it happens and gave me a story of it happening to her and i have a mattress protector.

Who an earth lets their child ruin someone else’s belongings and doesn’t offer to replace them.

Common nobody I know expects 11year olds to be wetting the bed, and if they have a medical reason I’d expect the mother to let me know in advance so I can prepare or make sure my mattress old or new was safe.

Burn the mattress ops sister.

All keep having a chat about 11 Yr olds wetting beds.

The OP hasn't been back or is reading and enjoying the responses. Think about it.

To be honest, if I knew there was even a tiny chance of my child (of any age) wetting, I’d have taken my own protector and bottom sheet with me... and failing that, offered to get mattress professionally cleaned. Far too many people do damage to other folks stuff and just walk away shrugging their shoulders... or is that just me thinking that..?🤷‍♀️

Does it matter that it was wee?

A nasty explosive vomit episode can smell just as bad but is unavoidable quite often and can happen to anyone at any age.

Mattress protectors all the way.

We have mattress protectors on all beds. I wouldn't ever not, because accidents can always happen - not necessarily urine, but also vomit, blood, etc. We don't have plastic ones though.

If I was the host I would just be trying to sort it myself. I am sure google could come up with cleaning answers that also rid it of the smell. I couldn't't chase a guest for what was an accident. I'd also consider looking at my own household insurance if it was very new and very expensive. Not sure I would for £400 though, would depend on the excess.

If I was the guest I would like to think I would take my own protector sheets for my child. When DD wasn't reliable overnight aged 7y we always did. I'd have been embarrassed if an accident had occurred onto a mattress and out of politeness would have apologised and offered to clean it, or perhaps money towards having it professionally cleaned. I'm not sure I'd have been offering £400 to replace it though. I'd also have been wary about doing any of that in front of the child though, as embarrassment can have a negative effect on a child with bedwetting incidents especially when they are older. I don't think my own household insurance would cover me for it elsewhere though.

Actually, If the 11 year old wet the bed, I'll bet it was not a one-off, and therefore the mother should have taken precautions, as she must have known it was a possibility.
However, if you wash it with vinegar, possibly repeatedly, the smell will come out eventually. Google for technique, but it does work - happened to me when a friend's daughter wet my bed. I washed it thoroughly with hot soapy water, both sides, then with vinegar. It took days to dry out, I had to sleep on the sofa for nearly a week.

First search result - if I was the host I'd be trying this: www.wikihow.life/Remove-Urine-Stains-from-a-Mattress

Tell her to get some fabreze. After one wetting incident it will be possible to sort out, the matress. Sponge the area and dry it - then fabreeze. It is a shame the parent didn't put a protector down if they knew this could happen. But I don't think the mattress is finished yet!

The mother should have had the decency of other people's belongings to have offered to pay! As she didnt, the hostess should ask her to replace it.
An accident yes, but the mother should pay as it was her child that ruined the mattress.

Bonkers ! These things happen if you have guests, particularly children. Ease up.

Thanks for all your responses, advice and rebukes... so some of the messages, I couldn't stop laughing!

I would have thought that age 11 is old enough to be mortified and not want to tell his mum he had wet the bed, but not old enough to know what to do to clean it up - so it is hugely possible his mother doesn't even know he wet the bed.

As others have said,, bicarb of soda is good. I have dealt with incidents like this with dumping a whole load of bicarb of soda on it with a few drops of tea tree oil mixed in, left it for an hour or so then hoovered it up and repeated if necessary. Now I have a steam cleaner I'd probably give it a going over with that too. Won't get rid of the stain but would disinfect and get rid of the smell. The mattress doesn't need replacing.

Definitely good quality mattress protectors going forward (which I learned to do pretty quickly!!)

I think it depends if the host has children or not. If not, they wouldn’t necessarily expect bed wetting.

I've told everyone in this house that if they need to be sick and can't make it to a bathroom to throw back the duvet and be sick in the centre of the bed. Much easier than dealing with the carpet.

It's worth getting nice, quilted-type ones for your own bed --all of them really but prioritise your own comfort).

The bed wetters mother should pay for a replacement

Whenever my dc have sleepovers here, I always put mattress protectors on all the beds. Kids wet beds.

The mother is very rude. If this was a one off I’d expect her to be mortified. More likely her ds is a regular bedwetter she has industrial mattress protectors. In what world is it ok to treat other people’s stuff with such disregard?

I have had children stay and wet the bed, it happens, they are children in a strange house. You can dry the mattress and air it, it won't pong forever. Get a protector on in future.