Bed wetting guest

[Tigerzmum]

My sister had a friend who had a guest with an 11 year old boy child and a 2 year old; The boy was bedded on her new mattress work circa £400.00 just new and wet it. The mother neither merely said sorry; But the hostess is very upset and has not voiced this to her guest; I told my sister that she [the hostess] should seek to claim for damages for the cost of replacement of the mattress from the guests home insurance policy AIBU? Considering, the mattress cannot be washed or dry-cleaned, further the guest did not seek to ensure the mattress was protected, knowing her son had the potential to wet the bed. I personally would have been livid, now the hostess has either to live with the smell or replace the mattress at her on expense.

Why can't it be cleaned? Bicarb of soda will get rid of any smell

I wouldn't have a kid stay in my house and not put a mattress protector on, not just because of wees but also sneaky drinks in bed, leaking pens etc etc. Kids ruin all kinds of things by accident.

On the other hand, I also wouldn't let my bed-wetter sleep on someone else's bed without checking it had a waterproof cover or providing my own. I've always taken them off my kids beds and brought them with us to other people's houses if they were still at bed wetting stages. Eleven years old isn't a wildly uncommon age to still have a problem, but those parents cannot have expected their host to have anticipated it either. They put the hosts in an unfair position.

The guests perhaps had no idea that their child was being put to bed on an expensive brand new mattress so paying outright to replace it wouldn't be right. If I was the guest I think a financial contribution of maybe £100 or 200 would be reasonable, and the hosts can decide whether to spend it on cleaning or replacement. You can't make them though, it would have to be a goodwill gesture on their part. Ultimately we need to take our own measures to protect our own stuff, not expect others to look after our things as we would.

Why on earth did she not have a mattress protector on a guest bed?

Only on MN is it expected that a host is responsible for a guest destroying an expensive piece of property and of course, no one has an excess fee on their insurance or a care about increasing their premiums by making a claim for someone else's bad manners and tightness, nah, plenty of money to splash around to pay for excess fees, increased premiums, new mattresses and a topping of scorn, 'NO mattress protector! Your fault!'

The guest is fucking rude not to offer to pay towards a new mattress or a professional clean.

I use waterproof mattress protectors on all of my mattresses (with comfy bedding on top of it) as you just never know when someones going to throw up suddenly etc.

Do you normally write in such formal language @Tigerzmum?

The home insurance will not cover someone in another home.

Forget that.

I've not read all the posts, but IMO this is just an accident.

If the mum knew her son wet the bed, she ought to have forewarned your sister. As she didn't, the best your sister can do is tell her firned and hope she offers to pay for a new mattress.

Just the way you’ve written this makes you sound like a jumped up snob.
Your sister should have used a mattress protector.

Sorry posted too soon....

I think the mother is ultimately responsible for this. Despite my son being toilet trained as a toddler I was very nervous when he slept in other peoples beds as I knew they probably didn't have waterproof mattresses protectors like I did. So I used to say to him, "Since we're staying over at X's lets wear a bedtime nappy just incase you have a little accident". Thankfully he never wet them but I always felt more relaxed erring on the side of caution!

Jesus, give it a scrub and air dry it. fFS.

should seek to claim for damages for the cost of replacement of the mattress from the guests home insurance policy

My home insurance wouldn’t cover me in someone else’s house.

This is what home insurance is for

It wasn’t done on purpose
You can’t bill the child

It should have been protected. If the smell really can’t be removed claim on your insurance.

But so many people would be buying new mattresses if they bought new each time someone wet the bed.

Cover it in bicarbonate of soda, wait till dry and vacuum it up

We have old mattresses we use (on floor of DS’s room) for when kids stay over. Wouldn’t put them on a new expensive mattress!

I would be so upset if that was my child and I was the guest. She’s gone bitching about it to your sister rather than gone to the guest. Really nasty and uncalled for. Just scrub it, flip it, and move on. Life’s too short ffs.
It doesn’t matter if the child was prone to bed wetting. They could’ve come on their period unexpectedly, etc. Accidents happen. The friend sounds rotten.

WTF has this got to do with you? It was your sister's friend's mattress.

@Tigerzmum

YABU. And are you sure this woman isn't YOU (and not your sister?)

I have a mattress protector on my OWN bed (not plastic, but thick fabric) as it quite simply protects the (rather expensive) comfy mattress. People sweat in bed, and can bleed (periods, cuts and scrapes, etc..) or you can get just spills from drinks, and there can be cats lying on it etc etc..... Very odd to not have a mattress protector on these days.

If I had someone else's kid staying in a spare room with a £400 mattress, you BET I would have a damn mattress protector on. You are going to have to suck it up, and get it cleaned yourself, unless you don't care about the friendship.. I mean your SISTER needs to suck it up and get it cleaned herself!

It is up to the mattress owner whether they decide to protect their mattress or not. I have them on all my beds but haven’t had waterproof ones since my children were toilet trained.

I wouldn’t expect an 11 year old to wet the bed so wouldn’t think to take preventive measures.

I would expect the mother to warn the host or, preferably, bring a waterproof protector with her. If my child had done this I would offer to pay to have the mattress cleaned but I wouldn’t offer to pay for a replacement.

Pet urine cleaning liquid (look for enzyme bases) deals with human urine magnificently too.

I also have mattress protectors, but they are pretty useless. I took my single mattress and wash it on both sides and let the sun kiss dry the whole thing ON 2 very HOT DAYS! I live in the SE; for those in the north or Cumbria, my commiseration!

As a side note, that parent should find out why an 11 year old wetted the bed. There must be some underlying causes. Someone should tell the mother not to let her son sleep-over unless he has nappy on! Ah, is this a joke? Or the poor dear is psychologically troubled?

try the home insurance

It was clearly the 11 year old who wet the bed, to begin with. The host isn't at fault- most 11 year olds are dry at night. If this 11 year old isn't, then it is down to his mother to explain to the host and to bring a mattress protector, sheets, towels etc incase of an accident. Even a blow up bed if the host didn't want to risk it on an expensive mattress. It is not down to the host to prepare against every possible accident, especially when they are fairly inprobable.

The child's mum needs to learn from this. Firstly, she needs to apologise and pay for professional cleaning of the mattress. Secondly, she needs to come prepared if she stays over somewhere another time and let the host know of the issue. Thirdly, she needs (if she isn't already) to be exploring why this is happening.

If I knew this happened to my 11 year old sometimes then I'd never let him sleep in a guest bed without a mattress protector/pad under him: if that's the case then yes, understandable to ask the parents for help with this: perhaps the excess on the home insurance policy to replace it. If it was completely out of the blue however, then unfortunately these things happen - however as his mum I'd be mortified, would have apologised profusely and cleaned it myself, and it's a worthwhile lesson to invest in mattress protectors.

Sponge/soak up all you can, drench it in a good quality animal urine odour remover and let it dry. Then turn it over. Huge shame its a new mattress.

Oh dear, awful all round. The bedwetting 11 year old on the new mattress, I guess everyone thought an 11 year old was well passed that.

For the future would suggest mattress protectors.

I am amazed though the mother did not apologise.

I think the smell will go away eventually, and others have given some really good remedies to address this ... is there a watermark on the mattress?

You can get a mattress steam cleaned if you really like £20-30.

It’s just an accident. Just like if it was a girl who had a period accident. It’s embarrassing for the child and they didn’t know it was going to happen.

Prepared for massive drip feed that the child always does this (which would make no sense that you know this information as the mother wouldn’t really say that after and if it had been said before then there should have been proper protection).

The mattress should have had a protector on it

Yes but the host must have decided who slept where? Why put a kid on the new mattress? Kids aren’t fussy where they sleep. Blow up mattress?