Bed wetting guest

[Tigerzmum]

My sister had a friend who had a guest with an 11 year old boy child and a 2 year old; The boy was bedded on her new mattress work circa £400.00 just new and wet it. The mother neither merely said sorry; But the hostess is very upset and has not voiced this to her guest; I told my sister that she [the hostess] should seek to claim for damages for the cost of replacement of the mattress from the guests home insurance policy AIBU? Considering, the mattress cannot be washed or dry-cleaned, further the guest did not seek to ensure the mattress was protected, knowing her son had the potential to wet the bed. I personally would have been livid, now the hostess has either to live with the smell or replace the mattress at her on expense.

Sounds like a reverse to me. Either way the owner of the mattress should have made effort to ensure her property was protected adequately (mattress cover)

It’s one of those things. What if the mum had got a sudden surprise period and bled all over it involuntarily. Use a protector and don’t force your guests to endure numerous conversations about their bodily fluids.

Sorry, took a long time to post (slow internet) so missed the many earlier, similar comments.

But surely if you know your child is prone to the odd accident you'd say something before bedtime

You can’t put a child in a bed without a mattress protector then be surprised or ‘livid’ if said child then accidentally damages the mattress.
I blame the host, not the child or their parent.

I think generally if you are having children to stay it’s sensible to put on a mattress protector. Equally I would expect that a parent with a child prone to wetting the bed would also take steps to ensure a mattress protector or a pull-up were used.

I have struggled with bedwetting even as an adult and 6yo DD wets the bed. I always ensure a bed was protected before sleeping in it just in case. That said I have been caught out before and I have wet an unprotected bed at a friends house. Maybe it isn’t usual for the eleven year old to wet the bed, it may have been a one off in which case it isn’t really something that could be predicted.

When it happened to me I did offer friend the cost of replacing the mattress but she was happy to just clean it and turn it over. It is possible to clean a wet mattress, you can buy specific mattress cleaners or use baking powder and bio laundry powder or vinegar. Many professional upholstery cleaning companies will also clean mattresses so this may be cheaper than replacing the whole thing.

Ultimately I do think if you if your child damage someone else’s property, even accidentally, you should offer to make good and I don’t think a bedwetting accident is any different, but your sister would probably be unreasonable to insist on a brand new mattress rather than a deep clean.

To be fair I don't think a regular mattress protector would have worked and while I would have a waterproof mattress protector on a bed for a small child I wouldn't expect an 11 year old to need one and if he did I would expect the guest to bring one (or pads/whatever they use at home)

I don't think it's an insurance issue though, I wouldn't claim for that. I don't see an issue with asking the guest to have it professionally cleaned/replaced if required.

I don't believe the mattress can't be cleaned. Also why didn't she have mattress protectors on. I use mattress protectors on all my beds whether children are sleeping there or not. It just makes sense

"If the householder doesn’t have DC herself, she wouldn’t automatically think of a waterproof mattress protector"

I've never had a child to stay overnight, as none of my friends have kids either
I've never even thought of buying a mattress protector for guests
(like a good MNer, I rarely have guests anyway !)

If any guest thinks they might have an accident, I'd expect them to warn me beforehand, so I can buy something

How do you know her son had the potential to wet the bed. It could have been a one off. Sounds to me like your sister should have put a kid on a new and unprotected mattress. Accidents happen.

I doubt insurance would cover without a mattress protector. It was a condition of the warranty for my recently purchased mattress. All beds should have protection. You never know what bodily fluids might end up on it. I used to have period foods especially as a teenager. Would you feel the same about blood, vomit etc? If it was the 11 year old he was probably mortified. I can’t imagine asking for an insurance claim.

People usually learn the hard way about the importance of mattress protectors

Mine and my boys all have 2 protectors each. Vomit/pee/sweat... ugh just not worth the risk!

Our new pup excitedly peed all over my 7yos bed the first time I changed it (most exciting thing she'd experienced apparently all the flapping sheets!) mattress was untouched and I could afford to replace everything else. Dog since banned from bedrooms!

If the mattress does not contain memory foam then it can be cleaned with one of those wet vac carpet cleaners

One of my DC wet the bed, and if we were going anywhere to stay over, the waterproof protector went with her. A normal mattress protector would not do the job and the guest was at fault here. She should pay for a professional clean or replace the mattress.

We had similar happen to us. New and expensive mattress which 10yr relative slept on. No history or suspicion that X would wet the bed so no protector on there. The mother said oops ‘X has had a rather large accident, she’s a bit embarrassed’ And that was about it. No real apology.

I had to cover it up and not let DC know their new mattress was wee soaked (and it was a bladder full not just a tiny bit) . DC would have been gutted if they had known their new bed was soaked.

I ended up saying something about airing the mattress as it was new and used a whole bottle of animal urine spray and a whole bottle of febreeze which did eventually get rid of the smell with open windows over several days. This was after using several towels to soak up as much as possible though. DC slept in a different room, can’t remember how I managed that though.

Must admit I was quite annoyed but hid it well. Wouldn’t dream of asking relative’s mum for the money to replace as it was an accident but would have appreciated a sincere apology rather than it being brushed off.

Surprised here that everyone seems to think it’s the host’s fault though.

If I was lucky enough to have a £400 mattress for myself, let alone a spare bed, I'd put a frigging mattress protector on it! She needs to claim from her own home insurance and your suggestion is absurd - you cannot claim for something damaged in someone else's home, I don't think you've quite grasped the concept of HOME insurance.

Bed-wetting, like smashing a football through a window, is something for which the guest should take responsibility

It's not something that a host would expect, if not pre-warned

I would be very pissed off the mother didn't mention the 11 year old could potentially wet the bed. However, she should have put a protector on it, especially as another person slept on it. A bit shit, but I would buy a new mattress and not have them stay anymore.

I think if the 11 yo had an accident, it could well have been a one-off. Is it possible he was too embarrassed to tell anyone so his mum didn't know anything about the issue?

I have more expensive mattresses and have never considered buying a mattress protector
(and I'm 63)

I assume my guests are continent, or would warn me in advance
I suppose I have different expectations to people who have kids

I think it is just one of those things. I'm sure the mattress can be cleaned (obviously the parent of the child should have at least offered to do this).

For 400 quid, blow embarassment - I'd ask the mum to either pay for professional cleaning, or claim on her insurance for a replacement

However, anyone I know well enough to stay overnight would already have offered without prompting

It's not just pee that mattress protectors guard against - sweat, blood, puke, drink spillages, etc. I have one on our bed as well as on the kids' beds.

I have protectors on all of my mattresses. Because accidents happen.