To think my child should be guaranteed a place in beavers?

[TheQueenInTheNorth]

I'm a cub leader at our local scout group and have children already spread out amongst the sections. My youngest is finally old enough to join her sibling in beavers which has been talked about by other leaders and assumed she would be starting as soon as she was of age, she has even taken part with beavers with me as I've had childcare issues. Other times I've had her with me in cubs and as she has special needs, she's been a handful with being bored in an older age group, which has made it more difficult for me in my role as a leader. I have now been told that there in no space for her in the beaver group and I can't help thinking that she should have already been on a waiting list and should have a slight advantage with her siblings being part of the group and her mother being a leader

Would you consider volunteering for Beavers and step away from Cubs to secure a place? At least you could be sure your DD has the support she needs, the group retain a good volunteer and you stay connected to the group your older children attend? I used to be a Beaver/cub leader and know how hard and thankless it can be. I wouldn’t have any qualms about putting my child’s interests first in this sort of situation, especially as you’ve already given so much time voluntarily.

I haven't read every follow up post but, if I were you, I wouldn't hesitate to stand down as a volunteer if there's no place for your child. I've volunteered for many things, and maybe you didn't actually write her name on a list but you've clearly spoken to someone about it, if that hasn't been considered, just walk away. If you need to sign her up with everyone else and wait 6 months or whatever, enjoy some free time in the meantime. It's very short sighted on their part but I'm not sure there's much else you can do. Let them miss you for a while.

A fe things. Your a cub leader not a beaver leader right? So that does not mean you would automatically get in or be prioritised.
2) It isn,t clear if you put her name down on a list. Have you asked when there will be space if not right now and how many infront of her on a list?
3) There is no evidence that it is to do with her additional needs is there?
And four if you have the option of taking her to another section why don,t you.?

*Schoolcats "There shouldn't be an advantage from you being a leader though because it's not fair on the other children who were on the list."
*
Really?! You do realise they are volunteers? Of course their kids should skip the list

Not if there in a different section.

OP I don't understand why you didn't ensure her name was on a waiting list. Around here, there is a waiting list of approx three years!

If the reason for not accepting your daughter is due to her additional needs, then frankly I wouldn't want my child in the group. A key feature of non competitive children's activities is inclusivity.

However if she wasn't actually on the list then you need to accept that it is due to an oversight on your part and accept the responsibility is yours.

So she's got kids of beaver, cub and scout age but only gets the perks while they are in cubs despite volunteering hours and hours a week? Nah, stuff that

Shit, I hit YABU by mistake!

You’re giving up your free time to help out so I absolutely support your child being fast tracked. My child was on waiting list for a long time but I did not provide the support to the scouting community you have so would not have had any issue with your child jumping the queue.

I should add that when I emailed our local groups to put my child on the list, they ALL told me that if I was willing to become a leader that my child would be fast tracked.
I'd fully expect the children of any adult who volunteers to get into a group before any other children.

Op I'd be so tempted to look for another group even if it means moving your older children from their friends. Or at the very least move yourself and youngest to a different group and move the older children when the finish the section they are in.

No chance can you walk out the door with the older kids leaving the youngest at home or having her tagging along to Cubs when really shes age for the Beavers in the next room. The GSL really never thought the scenario through.

I'm a Cub leader. DDs got priority on waiting list for Beavers at current group and previous group before we moved (in fact DD2 was unofficially a Beaver from 4yo). Paperwork wise it's easier for a scouting child to be on the premises than a non scouting child (i.e my Beaver age child is insured to be at Cubs).

They have either
A) forgotten and messed up. But as long as there's two adults, they can have as many children as the room can hold, just need an extra adult for trips for every six children

B) trying to exclude.

If they aren't offering a solution, find another group.

@BIgBagofJelly I wish we could transfer to your group, it sounds like just what we need

@Mummy0ftwo12 and a few other pps have mentioned about them not being able to manage her behaviour but not saying anything. I'm not trying to drop feed, genuinely just remembered that I had a direct conversation with both the main leaders at beavers a month or two before christmas about her needs as I was worried about whether they would manage her meltdowns and they reassured me that it would be fine

Also to the pps that asked if she wants to be in beavers or would be fine just sticking to the football or other stuff. She has wanted to join beavers since my others started but obviously was way too young, since her last sister joined beavers she's been getting upset at being left behind with the babysitter every week and then when I had to bring her along she just wanted to join in with the other beavers. If she doesn't get a place then I won't be staying on as it's not fair on her, she's been waiting for this for years.

Also yes I could just put her in a different group but I would have to move myself and possibly my other kids to that other group which is doable depending on if there is one group with room for them all.

I manage our waiting list and we guarantee places for children of uniformed helpers regardless of which section they are in. It sounds as though your unit is really oddly run and/or doesn't want your child because of SNs. Either way, personally I'd walk and take the family to another unit which I'm sure would be pleased to have you all.

I'm sorry to read this - my first thought as soon as you mentioned the SN your DD has was that they are trying to exclude her and the whole waiting list is just an excuse.
So sad for you and your DD.

OP
I don’t know if you can still apply but as your DD has SEN you may be able to get a paid 1:1 support assistant. I think Mencap might have been the organisation that paid for it. I know they have people babysitting because one of my friends did it. We all trained as NNEBs. It would be worth looking into otherwise Barbados might be worth a try.

I know each group isn't exactly the same but I think it's unbelievable that they can't find a place for her given that they knew her age and when she would be old enough to start. If it is to do with her SN they need to be honest with you and tell you what their concerns are.

I think it's amazing that you have paid for childcare to volunteer with the group, our group would have to close if this was the case and most leaders with young children either step down for a few years or bring their children with them to activities.

I'm sorry, OP, but I believe the leaders have talked and don't think they can manage her behaviour. They are Volunteers and untrained in dealing with SENs and maybe feel overwhelmed at the prospect.

I’d go to the other group. It would perhaps be useful for you to be in the same room as your dd. The leaders could have discussed this with you. But it sounds as though they want you out tbh if they’re telling you what some are suggesting are a pack of lies - ie you can’t transfer to beavers and continue your training (if this is the case).

If your GSL is not responding you could go higher to the District Commissioner or similar, not in a ‘bolshy’ way but in a ‘seeking clarification’ way. But give the GSL another chance to reply, perhaps ask for a one to one conversation?

This is very disappointing behaviour from an organisation which is desperate to retain leaders.

And agree with others, their advice on training is totally wrong.

I had a direct conversation with both the main leaders at beavers a month or two before christmas about her needs as I was worried about whether they would manage her meltdowns and they reassured me that it would be fine

Then you need to remind them of this conversation and ask why the waiting list issue was not raised with you then.

It seems pretty clear that you’ve had several chats with them about her starting in Jan. If the haven’t added her to the list that is their error, not yours and they need to rectify it.
I would take this approach rather than the ‘i’m A volunteer so my child should get preferential treatment’ approach. As it’s clear you have talked to them and they’ve fucked up

With the behaviour issues, it sounds as though this is different from the usual scenario of squeezing just one more child in.

If your daughter requires a 1 to 1 support in school, they'd probably need to drop their usual numbers down to make sure they have an additional volunteer to support her.

I've had this in Guides or brownies, it's not been easy to manage and we reduced by 2-6 kids to give capacity for the volunteers and cover absences.

You could suggest you switch from Cub leader to Beaver parent helper for the time your DD is in Beavers. I bet they would prefer a leader.

So you misunderstood about the waiting list and whether she was on it? Still, with you as a leader and everything you do they should have found her a place. Easier to find an extra place than another leader I would have thought.