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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think my child should be guaranteed a place in beavers?

194 replies

TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 21:31

I'm a cub leader at our local scout group and have children already spread out amongst the sections. My youngest is finally old enough to join her sibling in beavers which has been talked about by other leaders and assumed she would be starting as soon as she was of age, she has even taken part with beavers with me as I've had childcare issues. Other times I've had her with me in cubs and as she has special needs, she's been a handful with being bored in an older age group, which has made it more difficult for me in my role as a leader. I have now been told that there in no space for her in the beaver group and I can't help thinking that she should have already been on a waiting list and should have a slight advantage with her siblings being part of the group and her mother being a leader

OP posts:
BinkyandBunty · 03/01/2020 22:01

I think from here you can expect that she be placed at the top of the waiting list and is next in line.

Surely some of the new intake will lose interest and stop going, or others will leave?

Or there are older kids you can move up to cubs pretty soon?

Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:01

Her behaviour can result in meltdowns, screaming and shouting, occasionally spitting, lashing out and biting but it can be managed and she has aides such as ear defenders and chew buddy to help, plus her mum in the next room if she was to join

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RandomMess · 03/01/2020 22:04

Perhaps you need to volunteer at Beavers to support your DD there, then they wouldn't be over numbers Wink

Blackdog19 · 03/01/2020 22:05

I think it may be down to her special needs, as they obviously knew you were waiting for a place for her. Has she had any difficulties when she’s joined in with the beavers in the past?

TimeforanotherChange · 03/01/2020 22:06

I'd be tempted to say to whoever you spoke to In our last conversation you told me DC could start Beavers in January, yet you are now saying there is no place for her. Am I correct in assuming this is because of her additional needs?

They should be ashamed if this is so. I would be telling them that I am no longer available to volunteer if this is the case.

Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:06

@Beamur my other children are 2 boys and 2 girls, I had considered putting the girls in guides but it was easier to have them with me in our scout group.

@Loveislandaddict it's definitely not that, they knew she wanted to join and that I wanted her to join and she had even joined in a few of their sessions

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MorbidMuch · 03/01/2020 22:06

They can't refuse to take her because of additional needs she might have! Again, if you think that is what is happening, you need to take it higher (even if you end up walking yourself) because they are meant to be an inclusive organisation.

happycamper11 · 03/01/2020 22:06

Surely you still have to apply and fill in the form to guarantee a space. If it's full it's full.

Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:08

@RandomMess I'd be tempted but that would mean I would have to start all my training all over again and as I'm already so close to getting my wood beads I wouldn't want to start from scratch

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Jaxhog · 03/01/2020 22:09

I think if you volunteer then your child should get a place automatically. Without volunteer leaders there would be no Beaver/Cub/Scout places at all! I'm really grateful to the people who give their time and energy so my DD can attend Cubs.

Er, yes! I'd be looking to lead another group - one with room for all your kids. Just tell them childcare issues are too difficult if she can't join in too. I bet they'll suddenly find they have room.

Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:10

@Blackdog19 yes she got upset at losing in games and threw herself on the floor and cried and she has also struggled a bit with staying still and listening

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TrainspottingWelsh · 03/01/2020 22:11

Do you think her special needs might be part of it? Not necessarily in a deliberate discrimination way, but maybe some practicality that for whatever reason they haven't just been honest about with you, and therefore won't have a solution to?

Eg dsd is a young leader at Rainbows, one new member required a physical helper to be fully included with everything, but practically there weren't enough volunteers at the group to provide it. Because everyone was honest and upfront it was easy to take a pick from the guides, rangers, and other rainbows older siblings and put one in place.

I'm not saying your dd requires another volunteer, but is it possible there's some adjustment required they aren't being upfront about?

Ellie56 · 03/01/2020 22:11

Well there's no way I'd carry on volunteering to work with other people's kids if my child couldn't have a place.

But I do wonder if saying there is no place available is a cover up for not wanting to deal with her SEN issues.

Jumbojem · 03/01/2020 22:13

Our group has priority for children of leaders as the scouting group is critically low on volunteers. As such I'd expect them to have a policy giving this priority, and also there are general policies on dealing with behaviour and additional needs. They can surely go one over in exceptional circumstances for the child of a leader. Sounds dodgy to me. I put in an official complaint to our GSL as my child should have a priority place but the leader filled all the places on an age basis and not following the policy. He's now being offered a place in Jan.

BackforGood · 03/01/2020 22:15

You wouldn't have to start your training all over, if you moved to another Group (or Section). The Modules you've completed would still all be signed off on Compass, wherever you went to.

Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:16

@TrainspottingWelsh I'm not sure tbh, her school teacher did recommend a 1:1 at school for her but the school haven't enough funding but they put slight adjustments in place and manage fine now apart from the odd blip. They are things that either wouldn't apply at beavers or that are easily done

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Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:19

@BackforGood that's not what I've been told, they've said if a leader was to move sections they would have to start their training off from scratch

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BumbleBeee69 · 03/01/2020 22:20

That's a shame OP, particularly as you give so much to this Group.. I'd be upset at this too.... Flowers

justasking111 · 03/01/2020 22:22

It does sound like they bottled it because they had witnessed her problems. Mine had to go on a written waiting list and it was a long wait which I had been warned about.

Dhalandchips · 03/01/2020 22:24

Yanbu and they're shooting themselves in the foot because they'll lose you as a volunteer. I think sometimes people forget the whole thing is run by volunteers who need nurturing as they're like gold dust!

MustDust · 03/01/2020 22:26

I'd be sending an email to the BSL and GSL asking where she is on the waiting list, if they're at 24 now then will she be starting at Easter (assuming you move them in terms like we do).

Timmythatyou · 03/01/2020 22:27

I was told that if I wanted my kids in beavers I would need to volunteer... otherwise waiting list is a mile long as they’re desperate for help and more help means more kids... so YANBU.

Beamur · 03/01/2020 22:27

Not sure your scouting colleagues are being entirely honest or straight with you - but I'm not in Scouts so don't know about training.
Guides would allow you to lead as part qualified as long as you were alongside fully qualified leaders while you complete training. I can't take a group by myself but can be counted as a leader for ratios as long as we have a fully qualified leader also present.

Veterinari · 03/01/2020 22:27

I think you need to have a clear conversation with them.
You’ve clearly been misled if you were told she would start in jan and no one mentioned a waiting list. I’d be asking why you weren’t given this info and why she wasn’t listed when you enquired

Original poster
TheQueenInTheNorth · 03/01/2020 22:27

They haven't even given me any indication on how long I would have to wait, just that they are full to capacity once the children on the waiting list join. I was considering just stepping down for a bit till she can join but the more I think about it, I don't think I do want to go back

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