To be absolutely FUMING with DS13

[SkaTastic]

Who told his step Dad today - who I have been with for 12 years so isnt exactly new

"If I didnt know you I would think you were a racist. Like one of them EDL people."

All said with a horrible, awful smirk on his face which he wears 90% of the time these days.

Husband is a skin head mental looking dude.

AIBU to be totally, totally fuming?

Not read past his apology but what a brilliant turn of events. He came to the right conclusion on his own. You are obviously doing some awesome parenting OP. Great job.

Kids can be very rude. I have one who didn’t ‘get’ rudeness - if it was factual she thought she could say it. I pull her up every time. Usually gently. Occasionally sharply. I very occasionally do a ‘people might think x of you’ choosing my examples very carefully. She is getting there at 9 and now self checks as the OPs child has, or stops herself (I can literally see her stopping herself mid sentence). Kids need to learn the boundaries at home so they don’t fuck up and get punched out outside. Or, more likely and perhaps kore impactingly, are just really unpopular. Some of their friends are blunt still (not pulled up at home) and whilst they go away with it while little their peers are now starting to reject them. Very sad.

Stereotypical fans of Metal usually have long hair

Do metal fans not go bald then?

Stereotypical fans of Metal usually have long hair

Nah, they're mostly middle aged now, the young 'uns aren't as mad about metal as us oldies. It's a sea of shaved heads. My dh and I are always laughing about this when we go to concerts, how all the same people we saw at concerts 25 years ago with long hair are all still there but with shaved heads instead.

Stereotypical fans of Metal usually have long hair

Pretty ironic given the subject of the thread. Didn't realise there was a "hair code" for musical preferences.

Op - as PP have pointed out given your DS is 13 I'd invest in a hard hat as it's going to get worse before it gets better!

It is clear that some posters don't understand what a stereotype is.

I honestly don't understand how people here don't get what its like to be a teenager. I am absolutely average looking, a bit thick around the waist, my only crime with my kids was that I was excessively cheerful and friendly to strangers. Sometimes I sang under my breath. To my teens I was always deeply embarrassing.

Fair or otherwise, OP's DP is not the average. Understand her DS's comments in that context. I was embarrassed because my old fashioned Dad who picked me up from parties wore an overcoat and hat but the boys I knew thought his name meant he was a filmstar (Sandy) and would pretend to be really excited that he might be at the door! Teens are mean and image matters.

Context, tolerance, no over-reactions. Dont label a young man with horrid labels. His step Dad's appearance is a bit much. No one's fault, just hard as a teen.

You do seem to have reacted in the extreme, when he said if he didn't know him he'd think that due to thr way your husband presents himself.

You can talk to him about stereotypes, but to be absolutely fuming is just an extreme over reaction.

Poor DS. Ridiculous overreaction.