To be absolutely FUMING with DS13

[SkaTastic]

Who told his step Dad today - who I have been with for 12 years so isnt exactly new

"If I didnt know you I would think you were a racist. Like one of them EDL people."

All said with a horrible, awful smirk on his face which he wears 90% of the time these days.

Husband is a skin head mental looking dude.

AIBU to be totally, totally fuming?

He probably learned this stereotyping behaviour from you.
He believes skinheads are neo-nazis and can smirk.
You believe that anyone who goes to wetherspoons, wears Stone Island/anything with a Union Jack and trainers is beneath you and part of the EDL. Given your answer to the questions is to compare all of these characteristics and fashions with those in the EDL and your snidey tone.

Id probably come back with "shows how good you are at guessing then doesnt it, as clearly he doesn't"

Or just goes to show you shouldnt judge a book by its cover

I may also tell him to watch who hes being mouthy to, as stepdad has done a lot for you ( If he has)

It sounds like you need to work on your relationship with your son. It's up to you to teach him and guide him rather than rage about him. You don't sound close to him OP, maybe that's why he's rude to you both.

Touched a nerve in what way? Didnt touch a nerve as much as showed even more disrespect for his step Dad than he usually shows.

@sailorcherries ahhhhh yes because none of my comments were at all tongue in cheek. And yes I absolutely do think that anybody who is part of the EDL is below me. Why wouldn't I?

Son realised it sounded bad and made an extremely rare apology so onwards we go until the next disagreement.

Yes and no.

He’s 13, he’s either saying what he thinks without afterthought, or doing it for a reaction because teenagers are facking awful that way. Most folk can spot a metalhead from an edl-er a country mile off, at that age you’ve experienced and seen less.

Fuck my days @Elvesdontdomagic so you can tell from my rant to STRANGERS ON THE INTERNET that I am not close to my son? Elves might not do magic but you obviously fucking do!

This thread has reached the height of ridiculous.

Christ, if you think that's bad, try living with a teenage girl! Your son obviously thought he was being amusing. Just totally ignore him when he makes comments like that, he'll hopefully get bored and slope off to his room.

I have a suspicion this might have been written by the 13 year old...

But if not - it’s an observation, it might be factual - other people might make that assumption about your DP. You son pointed that out, but obviously he knows your partner and knows that he isn’t like that, I’d use the discussion to talk about stereotypes and thinking about the impact of making personal comments on people’s feelings

I still can’t get my head around this.

“If I didn’t know you, I would think” clearly implies that DS doesn’t think DH looks like an EDL member, so I really don’t get the issue!

He’s 13 fgs. This could all have been dealt with using a bit of stepdad/stepson banter rather than you blowing your top

My DS1 (turns 13 in May) seems to thrive off saying horrible things to me. Today he told me that he couldn't imagine me ever being skinny, I'm a healthy weigh but have just started a diet as I want to lose a stone. He also takes pleasure in telling me that meals he has eaten at his friends houses are nicer than anything I could ever cook. They are awful and brutal. V hard to be thick skinned, I could regularly slap my DS1, I don't by the way

You are FUMING. Not just “fuming” but FUMING”, yet you call your husband a “ skin head mental looking dude“.

YABU

He was saying that he'd got to know him and knew he wasn't a racist. I think it's a compliment. Loads of people possibly think the same thing based on stereotypes. You should be proud of your son for seeing past the stereotype.

This thread has reached the height of ridiculous.

I think there is one main reason for this OP...

No not just the EDL supporters but your sneering at anyone who, as I already said, drinks in wetherspoons/has Stone Island clothing/wears trainers/has clothing with a Union Jack on it.

After reading the thread and seeing your responses to other peoe I'd say that if your son isn't a nice person it's learned behaviour from yourself.

Very few vipers on here OP just people respoding to what you wrote.

We have no idea of the back story, context etc. All we have to go on are your posts and it would appear from those, that you become indignant very readily!

Instead of simply answering questions you've immediately leapt to being offended

I feel like previous posters are getting confused with 'skinheads' (the stereotype) and 'people with a shaved head'...

I thought it was quite funny. You’re going to have to toughen up with a 13 year old boy - the pisstakes will get a lot worse than that.

I would be very cross if my daughter said "them people"!

Quite. Very déclassé.

Meh, I came down one morning with a bandana on, sunny day, was planning to work in garden, thought it looked good, son looked up and said "Alright Hulk Hogan". Called him a cheeky bugger and got him to make me a coffee.

It's just banter unless there is a long backstory between them it just seems he was trying to have a laugh with his step dad. And I do think you meant to say "mental" but backtracked when you saw what a shitstorm it created.

Eh, no reason to be fuming. I used to have “banter” with my parents in the same way also, and it’s not exactly as if he actually called his stepdad a racist, rather that he may look like one to people that don’t know him personally.

I might be missing the point entirely here, but isn't Stone Island quite expensive? It's not the brand of clothing that springs to mind when I think of Wetherspoons.

You've started another identical thread. I don't actually understand either of them

I thought the same, @isabellerossignol 🤔