AIBU to ask what you actually NEED when you’re having a baby?

[UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre]

So DP and I have just found out we are expecting our first over the summer. Totally unplanned & unexpected.
We are skint and freaking out a LOT.
SIL has kindly offered to give us her cot, and 30 reusable nappies.
I work with babies and I’m not stupid but I can’t help feeling like I don’t have a bloody clue.

So far we have on the list
Pram
Car seat
Sling (live rurally and have dogs)
Bottles incase I can’t BF
Dummies for sleeping to decrease sids risk
Nappies
Sudocreme
Cotton wool
Wipes
Sleepsuits/vests etc
Breast pads

Please can you amazing ladies help me out! I’m freaking out!

Thanks in advance

Congratulations!! I second what most people have already said.

If you have dogs around, you might want something robust/unreachable that you can put baby in when you need to leave the room for a minute - our spaniel is super soft & gentle but we were still wary of leaving them alone together - for both their sakes. We bought a travel cot/playpen which had a sort of removable upper layer we used when our son was a very small baby- until he could sit properly in the bottom bit of the playpen with some toys. It was brilliant - kept using it right up until he grew out of it as a travel cot - well worth the money!

You can't have too many muslins. Get a massive pack, then get some more. Seriously, I go through at least 4 a day

@NeedAnExpert the movement monitors saved my DS's life three times as he kept going hypothermic during sleep in his first year. So I will always say they are an essential to any new Mum now. Just because you didn't use them or need them doesn't mean they might not help someone else. Considering they now believe poor body temp regulation and baby's temps going too low is likely a major contributor to SIDS.

Some good deals coming soon in the supermarkets

If you are breastfeeding, buy Lansinoh. It's worth its weight in gold (and that's about how much they charge for it).

Question - dummies to decrease risk of SIDS? Is that a thing now?

A car seat
A place for them to sleep
Nappies
Cream for sore skin , calendula is good
Teething granules
Sleep suits in 3-6 months
Muslin cloths if you have a boy

SheilaBruce only by a tiny factor.

@SheilaBruce

It is a real thing now, NHS & lullabytrust recommend them for night time use once feeding is established

Wait on getting a sling. If yours comes out big you wont use it. Also a sling does not replace a pram.

Bugger off grumpy and your bf anti-choice shit.

To all the ones who say that you will get lots of clothes given as gifts - I didn't. And what I get was - apart from one present - all larger sizes 6-9 months or similar).

We got more practical things, pram toys, baby wash and bath items, large hooded towels (you need at least 1x1m to cover the baby), first books.

If you are skint, here are the essentials:

babygros
vests
nappies
little hat for the cold
soft blanket
Bepanthen nappy cream
cotton wool
baby soap (you can use a towel for a changing mat)
a car seat
a sling

Then I suppose
moses basket (we were hippies and had babies in the bed) which also means cot, baby sheets and blanket.
Later - a cot. Cot can be donated, mattress must be new

That's it! (many children later, that is the bare essentials)
You, your body and your love provide all the rest

Most important piece of kit: car seat
(up to about 4 months then they want to start moving). It is incredible how much you can get done with your baby strapped in sleeping/ watching you.

Sure fire way to cure and prevent nappy rash: wash area with soap and water and rinse. Blow dry (be sure to hold the dryer far away and check temperature with your hand on the baby). THEY LOVE IT! Bepanthen cream. Blow dry again. Another layer of Bepanthen.

Most unlikely baby sitters:

1. front loading washing machine. They watch the clothes go round and round.
2. near tree/bushes in the garden for outdoor work. The leaves rustling are fascinating.
3. (ONLY if you have a shaded secure driveway which being rural, we did) leaving sleeping baby in the locked car to quickly get things done. As they start moving to wake up, the alarm tells you.

For your hospital bag:

list of essentials, above, excluding sling
nighty, dressing gown, slippers
change of clothes - all elasticated, several huge t shirts, nothing tight (and I was a size 8 then)
wash bag + soap, shampoo,
towel
Dr Whites mattresses for post pregnancy lochia
My boobs were too big and sore for a maternity bra

All the best, such an exciting time x

... which also means new mattress ... (don't know where 'cot' came from)

Don't turn your nose up at 2nd hand baby clothes. I only bought a few new vests and babygros, all the rest were second hand. There was a shop in the next town that specialised in used baby things.

People look after their baby things beautifully, it saved us so much money.

Good quality nursing bra really last well. Still wearing mine. 13 years after the first one arrived.

I've half read through but I would wait until baby is here to buy extras.

essentials for us
plenty of sleepsuits and vests - can be bought for pennies second hand.
sleeping bag.
blankets for swaddling - I used cot sheets helped dds settle.
plenty of food in the freezer easy to heat up and eat one handed.
comfy leggings and tops for you plus a dressing gown.
a drinking bottle and thermos cup to have drinks to hand whilst feeding.

and I read you are saving for a washer/dryer I've got one and honestly I wish I had just bought a washing machine. it's terrible at drying and been repaired more times than I can count. I now go to the launderette when I get a back log. costs £2 for 30 mins and the big dryer can fit 4 loads of washing. my washer dryer takes 3 hours to dry half a load. i use a dehumidifier under my airer and usually a wash load dries overnight plus it's only 3p an hour to run.

put a wanted ad on Facebook, gumtee and freecycle honestly people are often glad to be rid of bulky items! car boots and indoor markets are often full of small baby items you are spoilt for choice.

Wow, amazed by the dummy/decreased SIDs link. I read the other day they were looking at the link between temperature going too low as well.

The theory of not giving breastfed babies a dummy has been disproven- there is no such thing as nipple confusion. I exclusively breastfed both my babies and they also had dummies from 2 weeks old.

I think parents of breastfed babies are meant to hold of dummies so as not to miss the early signs of hunger for the first few weeks whilst supply is established

I'm going full on basics here.....

For my 3rd I bought very little as I already had a buggy that went flat which could double up as a place for baby to sleep downstairs. We also had a car seat.

Nappies, wet wipes, vests, baby grows and a couple of jumpers/cardies and a hat.

I changed her nappies on a small towel.

I didn't buy any soaps or creams. I washed her in a new washing bowl with a flannel.

Everything else really wasn't needed...

I think you have all the suggestions you need but I would say, do check out second hand things. I bought an almost unused bugaboo Cameleon (some years ago now) for £90 with every attachment you could imagine. At that time, they cost about £1000 in mothercare.
Mattresses and car seats aside, neither of my children had very much new stuff. Baby stuff is very cheap second hand and often (though not always), it's in really good condition.
Congratulations!

PS your user name is brilliant!

Baby wipes are awful, don't use them. They are made of plastic. The silicone is bad for baby's skin, and they are terrible for the environment.

Cotton and baby soap is the best, and a rinse bottom in a tub of warm water.

I was the opposite with formula always had the little starter packs and then me er needed them I felt better having it ready there just in case

*never needed them