AIBU to ask what you actually NEED when you’re having a baby?

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So DP and I have just found out we are expecting our first over the summer. Totally unplanned & unexpected.
We are skint and freaking out a LOT.
SIL has kindly offered to give us her cot, and 30 reusable nappies.
I work with babies and I’m not stupid but I can’t help feeling like I don’t have a bloody clue.

So far we have on the list
Pram
Car seat
Sling (live rurally and have dogs)
Bottles incase I can’t BF
Dummies for sleeping to decrease sids risk
Nappies
Sudocreme
Cotton wool
Wipes
Sleepsuits/vests etc
Breast pads

Please can you amazing ladies help me out! I’m freaking out!

Thanks in advance

Be careful when making a decision about a pram and try to think forward. I made the common mistake of spending a fortune on a travel system to find that by 6 months I’d stopped using it in favour of a fold in one piece pushchair. If I could do it again I would buy a baby jogger city mini GT and use it from birth with the carrycot as it will last until age 4.

Not sure if anyone has posted this already but I would 100% recommend aldi nappies and wipes as they are brilliant and cheaper than anywhere else! I actually prefer them to bigger named brands they are far far better, and you will save a fortune.
Congratulations and good luck 😁

So far from your list;
Pram -yes
Car seat -yes
Sling (live rurally and have dogs)
Bottles incase I can’t BF- DONT get until you have established whether you can actually breastfeed! They are everywhere (late night Tesco will have them available etc)
Dummies for sleeping to decrease sids risk- not an absolute necessity
Nappies - yes but don’t overstash as you may not like the brand you stash (I found different brands suited each baby 🤷‍♀️)
Sudocreme - sure why not but I would use a barrier cream without zinc if possible
Cotton wool- meh..,.not essential. Just use a soft facecloth
Wipes - yes water wipes
Sleepsuits/vests etc - yes
Breast pads - yes but again don’t get too many of one brand as you may not like them.

Essentials for me Personally were;
Hospital bag
Baby bag
Baby basket or bedside crib
Large Muslins
Soft facecloths
Natural based skin products
Lansinoh nipple cream
Baby hat
A baby mat
Swaddle blankets or just use the large muslins stated above.
A v pillow!!
Sanitary Pads for after

Other not necessary items to start with are
Baby bath
A cot...we didn’t use ours for 4months!
Too many toys
Baby gloves!! They always fall off!
Clothing that’s NOT babygrows! ie, dresses or jeans!!

For what to pack in your maternity bag check out YouTube as there is lots of videos on how to do it.

For the first few months vests and baby grows were handy as well as muslims, cotton wool or wipes and nappies. I used a snuzzpod and bouncer with a kind of head rest type thing for smaller babies. A crib for our bedroom with a mattress, sheets etc. We did not buy a cot till dd was bigger. We used a a changing mat and I would change her on the bed but I found this very painful initially due to my section (remember you will be changing a newborn often) so might be worth getting a changing table. There are some cool ones on wheels out there with a lot of storage. We got a cot bed eventually that came with a changing unit on top of the chest of drawers. A car seat is a must and a sling useful. I would buy a monitor unless you intend for baby to sleep downstairs when you are down and then upstairs when you are up? I avoided a dummy with dd but found it helped ds.

I had a steriliser and set of bottles too. Dd was breastfed for 6 months but I did express and get her used to bottles as I went back to work at 10 months. I would not buy a breast pump just yet as you can hire them to see which is most suitable for you. Nipple cream and breast pads and good maternity bras were a godsend.

You will no doubt be given lots of outfits and baby shoes which are lovely to receive but not so useful in the early months. A playmat and toys can also be useful as well as baby books once they are 2-4 months old.

Tbh there is a lot of stuff you can buy in stages. Immediate needs are to clothe baby, feed it and have somewhere safe for it to sleep.

Oh and congratulations!

*muslins

If you are a boots shopper, definately worth logging into your advantage card account and opt into parenting club. Everytime you buy anything in their baby range, including clothes and food, they give you loads more points. I remember when I was skint, a few days before pay day I used my points to get some baby food bits that we were running out of. Really helped me out. Plus their clothing range is pretty good and it doesn't cost the earth.

Also there's a market just for baby and child stuff, it travels across the country. It's where mum's set up their own stall and sell their old baby stuff. Prams, clothes, toys, you name it, you will be able to pick up majority of what you need on the cheap. I'll give the link.
www.mum2mummarket.co.uk/nearly-new-sales.html#.Xg-G4Tunxkw

That's the link so you can check where the nearest one to you is.
Also worth checking charity shops.
Although don't buy car seat nearly new.

But a lot of stuff you can buy cheaper second hand and there are some really nice bits out there. Babys grow so quickly sometimes a lot of things hardly get used.

www.moneysavingexpert.com/family/baby-checklist/

Congratulations!

No one seems to have mentioned Facebook marketplace! We used it loads for things we could afford/justify financially. Most stuff on there is great quality.

If you're not too late, the Mothercare sale may be worth a look, although its operating in store only now I believe and not online anymore.

In terms of bottles, if you decide you want them, get them second hand and just buy new teats.

Hopefully you will find family and friends are really excited for you and will want to buy you things. It's not too cheeky to ask for specific things - babygros, bibs, muslins etc.

Cute outfits are tempting, but plenty of babies manage with just babygros and vests.

In terms of Muslims, these are great for a whole host of things: dribble, sick, cover a changing mat, portable changing mat, use two to dry baby, drape over the pram hood as a sun shield...

I would also suggest holding off buying things that you're not sure about until you decide you definitely need them.

Good luck!

If you decide to use formula and someone wants to give you a present, ask for a perfect prep machine - will make life so much easier. It’s the present I give to new parents and they report that they love it.

I’ve got an 8 week old- I’d add blankets and a couple of hats to your list- if you’re intending on using a sling I’d also grab a second hand pram/snow suit (coat with arms and legs) for when it’s cold.
I haven’t actually used my breastfeeding pillow or v shaped pillow- just a standard cushion has been great.
For hospital bag I took two nighties that I could take The straps down easily to feed and only used non wired canny top type things instead of mat bras (nightie £5 and cami tops 3 for £10 primark), take something like slippers or I took flip flops as no one wants to stand in a toilet bare footed! I also took some dry shampoo and obvious toiletries- one pack of mat pads and like 4 breast pads as I knew my milk wouldn’t come in until day 3 (which FYI is actually day 4 as they count birth as day 0 🙄). I took a light dressing gown (again £8 primark) and some MASSIVE underwear for £5. It all adds up but that’s all I needed for me- take your maternity leggings and something zip/button up if you’re planning on feeding. Remember to take some lipseal too as you get very dehydrated very quickly in hosp. The advice for hospital bags for baby are always just a couple of each but I took 4 vests, 4 sleep suits, 2 hats and a whole pack of nappies and two wipes as we were in for 4 days with our first, three with this one. ALSO- ignore that person who said take your bottles back! You’re 100 % right to have done that, even if you just need the odd top up- you never know what might happen! I’d also invest in a light blanket for swaddling- I thought my baby didn’t like it but omg it’s changed our lives and has helped teach her when it’s time to sleep, so she goes down even when not swaddled now! Hope that helps ❤️

Bloody autocorrect: muslins not muslins! 🤦‍♀️😂

My list to myself would be couple of sets of comfy dark coloured PJ's and black extra large cotton knickers. I bought mine in Primark as they could be thrown away in the early days.

Things that you actually need

For baby:
-Nappies
-Wipes
-Vests
-Babygros
-Muslins
-Car seat
-Sling/pram
-Somewhere to sleep

For you
-Breast pads
-Maternity pads
-Big comfy pants
-Nursing bras

A few tips
-If using washable nappies you will need wet/dry bags for out and about and a big wet bag or lidded bucket for at home
-Washable wipes are a thousand times better than disposables and you can use them from birth instead of cotton wool. If you’re already using reusable nappies it’s easier to use reusable wipes too. Cheap flannels work just as well as expensive reusable wipes.
-My baby hated the pram so we used the sling exclusively for the first year, buy both but be prepared for baby to only like one or the other!
-Things like dummies/bottles/etc can be bought when (if) needed.
-Don’t buy tonnes of newborn clothes! Again, more can be bought if and when needed, I had one DS who ended up needing tiny baby clothes and one who went straight into 0-3 months so have a range of sizes ready.
-Apart from cot mattresses, second hand is fine. Tiny clothes will only have been used a handful of times by the previous owner, just wash before use.
-Birth-to-potty size reusable nappies won’t fit well til about 3 months. If you don’t have newborn sizes ones then use disposables until the reusables fit (although since you’ve been passed them on from a relative I’m assuming they have enough experience to give you plenty of advice about them!)

Not sure if it’s been mentioned but look on your local Facebook marketplace OP - it’s absolutely heaving with barely-used baby stuff for a fraction of the price

I'd definitely second the 'water wipes'! Have 1&2 year old Dd's and no nappy rash as yet- also Dermal 500 cream as a moisturiser/ baby wash, fragrance and soap free has seemed to be the way to go. (Oilatum wash also great for a shampoo- slight cradle cap on both and used Detinox, vanished within a month or so).

And NCT 'nearly new' sales....Google for one in your area

I had a quick browse through other people’s lists and some people’s must haves I have never used and I have a 3 yrs old and a 6 month old. It all depends on your parenting, time of year and your baby. I love my pram but DD2 doesn’t. I never clipped DD1 nail just an occasional file with my nail file but DD2 always need doing. DD1 and I couldn’t breast feed but DD2 is ebf.

What I would add is buy as much as you can on your local baby and children’s Facebook selling page and then sell it on when you are finished. That way things won’t cost too much.

A few more thoughts: carefully consider your living arrangements before buying a pram. We got a secondhand travel system because I thought those were the only option. Not ideal after a section in a house that's got 8 steps to the front door... We now also have a lightweight, one handed fold pushchair that lies flat. Lifesaver!

Regarding nappies: we used disposables until DS was 10lbs. The Aldi ones are cheap and don't smell weird when wet. Alternatively, you could get a pack of high quality muslins (cheaper than the fancy ones on the high street actually) and some waterproof wraps and use those. We live in a damp house so we have a dehumidifier and find that we don't need a tumble dryer really.

We had 30 muslins and used them all, but DS had spewy reflux and is prone to D&V, so maybe hold off until the baby is here before buying loads. I would say you need a mega muslin though!!! Doubles up as a blanket, sunshade (make sure the pram is ventilated though), rain cover and towel.

Always shop around, use cashback sites and buy own brand for medicines, formula, baby food etc. I think real Calpol is twice as expensive as the Asda stuff!

Sod water wipes, they're 99% water - that stuff is literally on tap! Buy or make reusable wipes (old towels are great for this). They work better and can just go in with your cloth nappies.

You only need a car seat if your baby will be going in a car btw. Sounds obvious, but if it's only for getting home from hospital and you'll be walking or using public transport after that you might be better off borrowing one from someone you trust.

Check out the nearest NCT Nearly New sale we picked up loads of stuff there for pennies. Got a superb travel system worth 400 for 30 quid (we needed it - just an example not saying you do). But tons of sleepsuits for £1. Got 20 sleepsuits for £1, and same with vests. Whilst there also picked up loads of complex puzzles for DC1 50 p each!

Babynumber2dueNov pram suits are not recommended with slings. Much better to have baby underneath your coat.

Vertbaudet often have reasonably priced maternity coats that can be used later for baby wearing.

A place for baby to sleep safely
Some simple clothing.

Diapers
Baby nail clippers.
Car seat
A couple of Thin blankets. Don’t go overboard on this.

Not an absolute need, but highly recommend a changing pad and a couple of covers. You can just set it on top of a dresser or table. If you don’t have one, you can just lay a towel down anywhere in your home.

Some money set aside to be able to buy things as you discover you need them!!! Seriously, unless you live somewhere with few stores, don’t buy much in advance. Just start putting some money aside every week so you have a baby supply fund.

So much of what we thought we needed we didn’t and There were several things that DH ended up going to but as we developed a need or strong want for.

It's good you have been given re usable nappies. For the first week or so you may want to use disposables (at least until the first few poops are gone). They are something to behold! You may not feel like washing those nappies..