AIBU to ask what you actually NEED when you’re having a baby?

[UnexpectedItemInTheShaggingAre]

So DP and I have just found out we are expecting our first over the summer. Totally unplanned & unexpected.
We are skint and freaking out a LOT.
SIL has kindly offered to give us her cot, and 30 reusable nappies.
I work with babies and I’m not stupid but I can’t help feeling like I don’t have a bloody clue.

So far we have on the list
Pram
Car seat
Sling (live rurally and have dogs)
Bottles incase I can’t BF
Dummies for sleeping to decrease sids risk
Nappies
Sudocreme
Cotton wool
Wipes
Sleepsuits/vests etc
Breast pads

Please can you amazing ladies help me out! I’m freaking out!

Thanks in advance

Incidentally, here’s my list of things I’d not be without (second baby, 12 weeks old)

Pram
Sling
Changing bag
Fold up changing mat
Cheeky wipes
In ear thermometer
Gro egg
Bedside crib
Sleepyhead (game changer for me)
Cellular blankets
Grosnug swaddles
Sleeping bags
2 stretchy sleeping bras
2 nursing bras (wait to get these fitted)
Car seat
Baby gym
Bouncer
Baby bath insert
Muslins
Dummy
10 babygrows
10 vests
1 coat
Several cardigans
Thick outdoor blanket

It’s a fair bit, though lots was second hand and I intend to sell again. I decided to buy an expensive pram second hand, it cost a third of what it would have been new. Other things I waited to buy in sale.

If you’re having a summer baby give some thought to shade. If you have a garden get some comfy spots for you sorted and make sure you have your pram kitted out and shaded well. You can buy separate flexible shades for any tricky spots.

I’m still envious of women who had spring/summer babies and more chance to get outside; I had a winter baby and really felt claustrophobic those first few months. The sunshine was very welcome that year! It also helps regulate your baby’s body clock to differentiate between night and day.

Oh and muslins. All the muslins you can get your hands on!

Have you got size 0 or first size clothes rather than 0-3? We had to do an emergency online shop to get clothes in the smaller size as 0-3 were too big!
Baby was 7lb 1oz

I found those scratch mitts a pain - better to get sleepsuits with built-in mitts.

Oh yeah, @Soundbyte is right. Baby nail clippers! Also a sponge. Some sort of gentle moisturiser. Barrier cream and metanium for sore bottoms.

All you need are some vests and baby gros, nappies, a safe way to transport baby (car seat/sling), and somewhere for baby to sleep (cot or next to me). Something warm plus hat if it’s a winter baby so you can get out with pram/sling.

You don’t need a Moses basket. They are not cheap and they are very quickly outgrown.

Don’t know where you are but in Scotland everyone is entitled to a baby box. The box is safe for sleeping and comes with a mattress. It includes clothes, a stretchy sling, some other bits and pieces too.

Absolutely no need for a baby bath if you have a real bath. Normal towels dry babies just as well as baby towels.

If you have friends and family who are likely to buy for baby, hold off on clothes and toys/teddies. Lots of people are insanely generous when it comes to babies.

Really useful - and cheapish - things if you can stretch to them include 1) inner ear thermometer (again there’s one in the baby box if you’re Scottish) 2) travel/fabric changing mat for out and about as sometimes floor changing is the only option and eww public bathroom floors are nasty. 3) skip hop or other brand wet and dry baby changing bag for carrying soiled clothes home (although nappy bags do the same job). 4) a dummy 5) a gro bag / sleep bag or two

In time you will need a steriliser for toys and teething things if not dummies and bottles now. The Milton cold water steriliser is just a box, it costs about £9 I think, you simply pop a tablet in and it sterilises in 15 mins. It’s great and so cheap compared to other equipment.

Oh and I didn't think we'd need a Moses basket but we got one serving hand from my aunty and it's been the most used out if the Moses basket/next2me/cot

You need a chair for them too. We got a basic one that doesn't vibrate or anything and it's been great.

Car seat, cot with a new mattress, pram and/or sling, changing mat, nappies, bedding so sheets for the cot (at least 3 in case you need to change them often), blankets or baby sleeping bags are good. Lots of Muslins. If you are on a budget I would buy big multipacks of Vests and sleepsuits, a couple of cardigans and hats. I liked to ‘dress’ my babies in a daytime outfit but it’s totally unnecessary and much easier just to do baby grows etc at first!

Wipes or you can use cotton wool and water.

Hospital bag is much overhyped I didn’t use loads of the stuff I packed 😂 mainly just nappies, wipes and clothes for the baby and disposable changing mats are really useful. Sanitary towels, (big ones!) big pants, snacks, phone charger, toiletries, dark coloured easy to wear clothes. Good luck!

You can't use sudocrem or nappy creams with reusable nappies btw and you won't need them as reusables don't cause rashes lile disposable ones do

Oh and for bathing a baby- baby baths a massive pain. We got a bath insert thing- they are super cheap you can get them for around £7. A baby chair of some kind is nice as you can sit them in it to watch you. And a playmat but doesn’t need to be fancy.

No not baby nail clippers...baby nail files are great and no risk of nipping skin..

You don’t need a Moses basket. If your Pram has a bassinet attachment you can use them to let them sleep downstairs and cot at night. You don’t need a changing bag. ANY BAG WILL DO. Don’t get sucked in to buying baby specific stuff. You don’t need a changing table, just get a change mat from mother care and use it on the floor/bed/table.

A digital thermometer is handy. Often you get get a lot of really good baby bits in Aldi when they have baby events on.

You can't use sudocrem or nappy creams with reusable nappies you can if you use a liner...

About car seats - we spent a lot on our infant car seat and then it was outgrown very quickly! So I advise you to get one with growing room. You don't have to spend a fortune, I've heard good things about the Joie Juva for example which is good value.
erfmission.com/baby-car-seats-under-100/

Wow, people have a weird idea of essentials! I’ve had 3 and wouldn’t bother with half this stuff tbh. For a newborn, I’d go with:

For baby:
Car seat
Sling (wait til baby is here. If you have a good sling you won’t need a pram straight away)
Dummies (1 packet just in case)
Nappies (at least a packet or two of newborn nappies for those first meconium poos, and in case you don’t get on with reusables)
Sudocrem/metanium
Cotton wool
Wipes
Clothes - vests, sleep suits and light cotton hats will be fine for a summer baby
Muslins
Light/fold up changing mat if you really want to push the boat out

For you:
Breast pads
Maternity pads
Nursing bras (wait to be fitted til your milk has come in and settled down again - probably a few weeks in. Use those cotton sleep type bras in the meantime)

That’s about it. You’ve got somewhere for baby to sleep (although my second and third were in with me from day dot) so that’s sorted. You need mattress/sheets/blankets or sleeping bag for the cot but SIL might pass them on too.
You really don’t need anything else straight away - everything else you can figure out along the way if you need it or not.
Hospital bag - a few outfits for baby; a couple of comfy outfits/pjs for you; something to wear on your feet round the ward (slippers/flip flops); some bottles of water; sweets or quick on the go snacks; lip balm (I hear g&a dries your lips out like anything!).
Anything and everything else can be acquired as you need it, or brought to you. Don’t overthink it OP - you’ll be fine!

If you are using cloth nappies, you should also get reusable wipes - saves an absolute fortune on disposable wipes.

Congratulations! I would strongly recommend looking in charity shops for baby clothes (and other stuff)! A lot of the tiny things only get worn a few times before the baby grows out of them, so they're in excellent condition! I'd skip a Moses basket in favour of a pram for downstairs, and I'd get a cot bed for upstairs and skip the bedside crib. YY to checking your entitlements and to not buying baby specific things. We love using sleeping bags for safety reasons, but again you can get these second hand. Things we had too many of/ rarely used: baby towels, blankets, sling (hurt my hips).

When I had my first I might as well have bought shares in a baby equipment company.
By the time my last born came along I was down to a pram, cot, bedding, bottles and car seat 😂
The babies were bathed in the sink and the bottles / dummies were sterilised via boiling water from the kettle after being thoroughly washed.
Scratch mitts are a must though.
I don't know about other mums here, but I found that I didn't use / need half the stuff I had.🤔

Cot with new mattress
Changing Mat only
Babygrows, cheap from Primark
Don't even buy nappies as you don't know what size yet!
Baby wipes

See about bottles later and if you do FF you just pop them in a boiling pan of water to sterilize

No moses basket (We used a lovely very cheap cosy dog basket from IKEA for the 4 weeks it was needed!) I think it was 12 euros.
No baby bath (sink)
No pram (sling)
No steriliser
No changing table
No shoes or proper clothes

A lovely soft baby blanket would be nice and that's it!

Congratulations!

BTW, do some research into the nappies you've been given, to check the age they're likely to fit from (not always as advertised) and how to wash them - I recommend www.thenappylady.co.uk and the associated FB group

I didn't have a baby monitor as mine bellowed so loud I swear they could be heard in the next street 😂

Thank you all so much 🥰 feeling better already

@Fouroutoffour thanks for the nappy advice. We actually bought the nappies, they were a baby shower gift but actually from 10lb +. They are probably not going to be used right away.
I’d almost forgotten that. I’ll probably go for first size disposables to start with. As we will be saving up for a washer dryer too! Xx

It really depends on your parenting style, lifestyle, where you live.

What is a necessity to one parent isn't to another.

THings I never used with my babies included

Pram
Cot

Bottles
Dummies
Muslins
Bibs
Baby monitor
Movement monitor
Room thermometer
Baby thermometer
Baby manicure kit
Baby towels
Changing table
Changing mat & cheap towels to cover it.
V-pillows
Sterilising unit
Bottles/Pump/formula

You can always buy stuff as you need it. You can still go shopping with a baby.
You may end up buying a load of stuff you don't need.

(I also wouldn't bother with dummies, babytowels, all that malarkey, just use a normal towel and let baby find its thumb and learn to self soothe!)

Honestly, it could all be done (if you have the cot and drive and need/have a car seat) for 100 quid tops. Possibly half that at first.

DO NOT PANIC!!!!