to HATE shitting at work!? (Lighthearted)

[soulasylum]

Sorry for the crude title!! Am I alone with this phobia!? Absolutely hate having to do a number 2 at work, the fact you're away from your desk for longer than usual everyone KNOWS what you're up to!
Am I being completely unreasonable or are there other insane people out there too who share this phobia?

Yanbu but my friend had this issue, avoided pooing at work and ended up with digestive problems. Don't know what to suggest though.

poop away - no one cares!!!💩💩

I don't get it at all. Nobody's going to actively listen to you poo, or even care that you're doing it. Everybody needs to poo! It's very natural.

But then I don't like spiders and I don't live anywhere with venemous spiders so it's incredibly irrational. I can't judge you poo phobia people when I have a not-exactly-phobia that's equally silly. You do you!

I used to NEVER poop in public but once I can break the poo ice in one place it becomes my safe poo haven.

This is an insight into another world!!! I had no idea people had t h is much control over their poo timings!
What do you do on holiday? Or if you’ve got the squits? Or a mega long work day?

I have dreadful constipation (coeliac and find it difficult to eat fibre) so if I get the urge to go, I don't care where I am (as long as there's a working toilet obvs)! I sometimes only poo twice a week.

As PP said, it's nice to poo at work and be paid for it (even better if you're working overtime and being paid double)

Having a Poo and getting paid for it - marvellous

We do have gender-neutral toilets at work, so they are all self contained cubicles, quite big with a toilet, sink, hand dryer etc. There is never a queue either .

If you have to go you have to go ... I suppose my least favourite is going on a train, but better than being in pain

And as for the people who can hang on to their poo for hours, all I can say to them is they need more fibre and water in their diet.

That’s absolute nonsense. Generally, I do 2 humongous shits a day. I just choose to do them in the comfort and privacy of my own bathroom.

I work as a home carer so if I need to go it’s in a service users own home. That can definitely feel awkward sometimes, it wouldn’t bother me in an office!

*Viques
*
I agree wholeheartedly. Leaving piss on seats is gross and very selfish of hoverers to do.

Like I said though years of practice has made me an expert so no damp wee on my clothes. Haha, others though, I'm
not sure!!

I'm a hoverer, mainly because of people that piss on the toilet seat and don't clean it after (I always make sure I clean any drips - but I'm a pro now, so drips are rare!), or there's a massive pube on the seat.
As for pooing. I try not to poo at work unless I have to, and when I have to I have to cover all the toilet seat with toilet roll so I don't have to touch it directly. Yes, I'm clearly unhinged!

Really, unless you’re leaving the toilet filthy, or taking a 50 minute shit break every day, no one cares, or notices. Toilets are meant to be pooed in.

Poo Fetish Troll strikes again?

I normally work from home, so it's not a problem. When I go to one of our offices, I don't mind, especially our main office, the toilets are amazing. They are funky automated ones and have an "odour guard" function. It works as well. I'd happily take my laptop in there and shit all day!!

Now, motorway services on the other hand but I've had to on occasion as I travel long distances, I hate that!!

Eoin agree with everything you've said. I never realised there were superior shitters until I joined mumsnet.

I’ve always thought it’s such a weird thing - it’s a completely normal bodily function but there is so much shame surrounding having a poo! As someone who used to have IBS, the thought of having to go at work was a terrifying prospect! I would feel so ashamed - but why? I don’t think I would worry too much these days - if someone is that invested in me having a poo that they would judge me, it’s definitely their issue.

I do manage to poo at work but I get anxious every time in case I -

• Leave a smell strong enough to warrant a building evacuation
• Clog the toilet and flood the office with sewer water
• Make a splash loud enough they'll think a tsunami has hit

First world problems eh!! Can't believe so many other people are toilet weirdos too, high five to you all!

Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, etc...

Yes, I'm clearly unhinged!

As are many of the toilet seats in a motorway services.

ItsNovemberNotChristmas and people very magnanimously saying that it's OK to have a shit at work if you have IBS or similar, but otherwise you should keep your sphincter closed until you're in your own toilet at home. Who on earth knew that there was moral superiority to be had from faecal retention?

I used to be someone who refused to poo at school/work but I’m not of the opinion that if you need to go, you need to go. It can’t be good for you to hold it in for hours. My friend who had bowel cancer a couple of years ago says her consultant stressed to her to go when she needs to as it’s not good for the body to wait.

For a healthy person it shouldn’t take noticeably longer than a wee and the smell probably isn’t as bad as you imagine.

I didn’t poo out the house (apart from on holiday in hotels, obvs) until I was 20 and went travelling. That ‘cured’ me of my phobia!
I do ‘go’ at work but only if I have to. Prefer not too 😆

We have unisex toilets at work. They're individual cubicles, each with a washbasin and sanitary bin, and they open directly on to the corridor. Each set of toilets has 2 cubicles with windows that open and 4 that are internal and (allegedly) have an extractor fan.

The first floor is mostly open plan.If anyone has a stinky shit there, the whole of the top floor knows about it.

The ground floor isn't much better. The bogs are opposite reception and the doors to reception are always open. A stinky shit there can knock out anyone who happens to walk into the building.

I will only shit in one of the bogs that has an opening window. I open the windows before I start. I take my cigarette lighter to burn off any methane that hasn't fled through the window by the time I've washed my hands.

I don't want anyone to think I'm the Stinky Shitter!

I feel blessed on any day when I need a crap at work and there are no courses running in the training room opposite my office. There is a lovely big disabled lav off that room, and I regard it as my own personal crapper. It never seems to occur to anyone else to use it, and my friend worked there for 12 years without even knowing it existed. Mind you, she didn't know there was a shower, either.

The facilities manager refuses to buy air freshener on environmental grounds and insists it's not necessary as all the lavs have fans or windows that open.

In my office folk leave their desks for long spells to...

make a phone call
have a smoke (many times a day!)
go to a meeting
have a long chat in the kitchen
have a chat with colleague on other side of room
fight with the copier
empty the dishwasher actually just me
nip to the coffee shop

So Long Toilet visits don't stand out.

I hate the idea of any colleagues hearing me make any toilet noises (including a mere wee), though. That is cringeworthy.

As for pooing. I try not to poo at work unless I have to, and when I have to I have to cover all the toilet seat with toilet roll so I don't have to touch it directly. Yes, I'm clearly unhinged!

You do realise that toilets are designed so that germs won’t live long on them, and that toilet paper is extremely absorbent, so covering the seat will assist the passage of any germs that are there?