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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to HATE shitting at work!? (Lighthearted)

158 replies

soulasylum · 03/01/2020 09:42

Sorry for the crude title!! Am I alone with this phobia!? Absolutely hate having to do a number 2 at work, the fact you're away from your desk for longer than usual everyone KNOWS what you're up to!Blush
Am I being completely unreasonable or are there other insane people out there too who share this phobia?

OP posts:
ItsNovemberNotChristmas · 03/01/2020 10:17

Nope, doesn't bother me where I shit, when you need to go you need to go

SimonJT · 03/01/2020 10:17

@Oysterbabe Pushing/straining is really bad for your colon, you should relax and let your body do the majority of the work on it’s own.

LouLou789 · 03/01/2020 10:17

I hated doing one at work (work for myself now, so not a problem) One place where I worked, there was always speculation about who was responsible for any malodorous toilet atmospheres. I was often the guilty party but never owned up 🤭

SerenDippitty · 03/01/2020 10:17

Not going when you need to can cause constipation.

I’m a pretty regular first thing in the morning pooer but if I had to go any other time I would.

TwentyViginti · 03/01/2020 10:19

I've read on here of men taking off to the bathroom for ridiculous amounts of time to avoid family time (taking their phones of course). One exasperated woman asked her DP for his phone before he went in - he was out in record time!

sandybanana · 03/01/2020 10:20

Wouldn't and couldn't do a shit at work.

Lack of privacy, people listening and able to hear.

Fucking no way.

Have never done it.

I don't even sit on any toilet seats for a wee either. I squat .

Always have. Apart from my own toilet.

Just the way I am. Horses for courses and all that.

Brefugee · 03/01/2020 10:20

I am another who doesn't poo anywhere but my own loo at home

the Germans have an actual word for people like this Grin: Heimscheisser.

I love their language. So descriptive.

timeforawine · 03/01/2020 10:21

We're lucky as our work toilets are all individual rooms rather than the usual cubicle style with no roof/gap under the door. Gives much more privacy, there is a spray air freshener in each one as well which is nice.
I have IBS so sometimes have to go :-(

Weebitawks · 03/01/2020 10:22

I always need a pop after my morning coffee that I have at work.

I'm in an office by myself so I don't have to worry about being gone long but there's only one female toilet on each floor in the building and it's very intimate. I live in fear of people coming in while I'm doing something horrific.

Also, it's a fact of life that I can be sat alone ALL DAY. I done ONE fart and obviously everyone needs to come in and see me. And we have to sit here like it hasn't happened.

sandybanana · 03/01/2020 10:22

*Roses2
*
Fuck me you're tight.

Equanimitas · 03/01/2020 10:22

I never pay attention to how long my colleagues are away from their desks. If I'm aware they are taking longer than usual, there could be all sorts of reasons - they might have gone to a meeting, to discuss something with another colleague, got sidetracked discussing something, may simply be having a chat whilst making tea. Life is far too short to wonder about what they might be doing in the toilet.

EoinMcLovesCakeJumper · 03/01/2020 10:23

The state of the nation's bowels would be a whole lot healthier if people weren't so ridiculously hung up about shitting when they needed to. I see that a tone has crept into some pp's replies that not wanting to wait until you get home is somehow lax and lacking in control, as if having a shit is a weakness that is to be looked down upon.

I go at about 2pm every day and I'm not going to become constipated and/or uncomfortable just because some people think that pooing is undisciplined.

teenagetantrums · 03/01/2020 10:24

I only poo in my own home wherever possible. I am regular as clockwork so do it before l leave for work. The odd day l have to poo at work l hate it. We only have one toilet and often a queue while you doing your thing.

TheBananaInPyjamas · 03/01/2020 10:25

Haha I hate it too. My work is tricky too...we have a single toilet door within the office (round a corner mind, but people can still see you go in) or a separate toilet with 6 cubicles in just outside the main office room. You can't win...I always have to check the big room is empty before I go, and if it's not I have to do a wee and hold the poo then try again later hahaha

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 03/01/2020 10:25

If the smell bothers you, keep a little box of matches in your bag and just strike one.

From long experience, men tend to make much more of a meal of it. Maybe some primeval thing, leaving their scent to deter other males? (But then so many men are largely primeval anyway.)

My DF used to say, ‘I am going to commune with my soul,’ as he went off with the paper for a 20 minute ‘sit’.

viques · 03/01/2020 10:26

sandybanana I hate going into toilets after people like you who hover, not saying you don't wipe the seat afterwards but a heck of a lot of hoverers seem to think that although they don't want their backside touching a toilet seat it is fine for other people to sit in their wee.

And as for the people who can hang on to their poo for hours, all I can say to them is they need more fibre and water in their diet. Grin

Fizzypoo · 03/01/2020 10:28

I don't poo at work.

I always have a morning poo after my coffee. I sometimes have an evening poo.

If I ever needed one during a day that I was office based I would hold it in. If it was an unholdable poo I would pop tissue in the loo, have my wee and then flush and poo at the same time so no smells.

I'm quite open and can talk about poo, I just feel awkward to have a poo which leaves a smell in work.

SimonJT · 03/01/2020 10:29

@viques I have a very high fibre diet (veggie) and drink plenty water (diabetic), I also have an bum hole of steel.

sandybanana · 03/01/2020 10:32

*Viques
*
I am a superb " aimer" and never piss on the seat.

I have amazing pelvic floor as well after years and years of this kind of practice.. 😉

DowntownAbby · 03/01/2020 10:36

I'm another who only poos at home.

In fact, I only poo first thing on a morning before I shower.

(I do hope we're not being 'poo trolled' here!)

viques · 03/01/2020 10:38

simon I am sure you are aware of this already, but I would check with your diabetes nurse that this is not a side effect of your diabetes. It could be , either of the diet, the medication or nerve damage.

viques · 03/01/2020 10:42

sandybanana then I wish you would pass your skills on to others because a lot of hovering pissers have what can only be described as a scattergun aim. I always hope they have managed to catch a few drops on their own clothing in the process, but I'm revengeful like that. Wink

redcarbluecar · 03/01/2020 10:45

I can poo at work but not at other people’s houses. It’s definitely a psychological thing.

SimonJT · 03/01/2020 10:46

It’s not, and it’s most definitely not nerve damage, all nerves most definitely firing on all cylinders.

viques · 03/01/2020 10:49

simon good news . Nasty disease, has more side effects and consequences than many people realise.