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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want her at the party

155 replies

Ifonly86 · 03/01/2020 00:44

AIBU to think a child that demands a party invitation then doesn’t say thank you for the invite shouldn’t come?
Completely prepared to be told IABU but I would expect better manners from an 11 year old. DS doesn’t particularly like said child but he felt guilty at leaving her out despite her public mega tantrum at not being initially invited due to numbers.
This girl is known for being a trouble maker and I’m concerned she will cause damage and I will lose the deposit or she will spoil it for DS somehow. The last party they both attended, she made it about her and wouldn’t let the birthday girl speak to any other friends then took the party bag and left without saying thank you or bye. Her parents brought her sibling without asking and let him eat a lot of the food and didn’t bring a gift (I know not to be expected but still the done thing). She is very needy and clingy and regularly has tantrums if a child doesn’t spend their entire day with her. There are no underlying issues, her parents find it funny and enable this. They are also rude and entitled.
I know I can’t uninvite her or make an excuse so close to the party despite praying she doesn’t show as some of her friends are coming who will be talking about it and a relative of hers is my ndn so we wouldn’t get away with it. Feeling bitter about the whole situation, how can I handle this?

OP posts:
SugaredSocks · 04/01/2020 20:08

Golly I do hope it went better than you feared. What a kindhearted DS you've got though.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 04/01/2020 20:08

The party was today, @manicmij.

manicmij · 04/01/2020 20:22

Why do I always get my Mnet postings a day late? Drives me mad.

MrsBadcrumble123 · 04/01/2020 20:26

Don’t cave in to tantrums or rudeness in future and IF the CF parents bring the other sibling explain that you haven’t paid for them so they either pay or take sibling home. Be an adult and if diva child misbehaves and parents ignore the behaviour I would feel entitled to manage the situation LOUDLY. Or ask the child to sit with their parents if they don’t want to join in and be a part of the fun. Hate entitled kids and crap parents so am quite happy to deal with it if it’s going to affect my child’s party etc

MrsBadcrumble123 · 04/01/2020 20:28

@manicmij ugh me too!!!!

81Byerley · 04/01/2020 20:30

How did it go?

BaolFan · 04/01/2020 20:40

Hopefully they never turned up

Mammajay · 04/01/2020 20:49

Did it go well?

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/01/2020 20:55

Hope your DS had a nice party and it went well with no issues!

Mlou32 · 04/01/2020 20:58

@Ifonly86 how did it go?

CheekyFucker · 04/01/2020 21:06

An update would be great OP. How did it go?

manicmij · 04/01/2020 21:47

Who do we complain to? There must be someone. So annoying replying then being told event is over!

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 04/01/2020 22:00

@manicmij I don't understand what you're upset about? The event was today and people would like to know how it went.

Biancadelrioisback · 04/01/2020 22:08

@manicmij I mean, you could read the thread before replying rather than complaining that you're late to the thread...

Ifonly86 · 04/01/2020 23:11

Thank you all for replies, we got home quite late and I needed to get little ones to bed so I haven’t been avoiding an update!
It wasn’t half as bad as I expected, almost thought we’d got away with it but she turned up 40 minutes late. Her dad dropped her off and left without a word (didn’t know until my mum pointed her out). Cue lots of eye rolls. My sister and mum watched her like a hawk, she did need telling to be kind a few times and the expected attempts at over riding DS attention which she was told to stop doing. It seemed to work maybe as she didn’t know them so couldn’t get away with it. DS had a great time which is the main thing and I’m just glad it’s over and I didn’t have a breakdown Grin
Thanks for all the help and advice Wine

OP posts:
poppy54321 · 04/01/2020 23:26

You did the right thing and taught her some party etiquette too which is a step forward for her. She will know she was being watched and also why. It may change her behaviour slightly.

manicmij · 04/01/2020 23:33

Why would I bother even being on this forum if by the time I factually receive the notices the are a day out of date. I did respond when I receive the whole Mn posting only to be shot down being told the party was yesterday. If I can't get up to date postings what on earth is the point of this forum. I am not the only one in this situation.

JacquesHammer · 04/01/2020 23:44

I am not the only one in this situation

You literally could have read the thread Confused All the information was there, you can hardly choose to not bother then get antsy because you’ve missed something that renders your contribution pointless!

Thatisme · 04/01/2020 23:47

Thanks for letting us know OP. Glad everything went well.

BruceAndNosh · 04/01/2020 23:51

Are we meant to wait for notices?
I didn't realise that MN thread participation was by invitation only!

allthesharks · 05/01/2020 00:24

I think @manicmij is saying that her app/browser isn't updating properly. That it initially fails to show the most recent updates, she replies and then after her reply a whole lot more posts load and she realises that she's missed a big chunk of information and her post is then redundant.

Zebracat · 05/01/2020 00:58

So glad it went well. I think you did the right thing in letting her come.

notthemum · 05/01/2020 01:52

@Baolfan Definitely this.

KC225 · 05/01/2020 01:56

Well done OP. Glad it went well.

notthemum · 05/01/2020 02:07

Sorry, obviously didn't read far enough down the thread to realise that it was today.
Well done OP. 💐🍷