Having a baby who sleeps through noise is just luck

[Hustssleeping]

My friends new baby will only sleep in perfect silence. Which means a family tiptoeing around with white noise on when they want to whisper. It seems crazy but I remember doing the same with my first.
Is it just luck if your baby sleeps through any noise or is there a trick to it? She desperately wants to know as her DSS comes EOW and she feels bad asking him to be quiet- she knows its important it's his house too..
So
IABU there is a way of teaching babies to sleep through noise (if so- share the magic please!)
IANBU- it's just luck

Just luck my first slept through the night at 10 weeks! Shock to the system subsequent children didn't lol my last child didn't sleep through until they were at school probably why I stopped there

Like with all parenting issues, those whose kids sleep through attribute it to their superior parenting. Those whose kids don't sleep well attribute it to bad luck...

Truth in the middle?

I think it is about just getting on with it around them. It's really easy to slip into 'shhhh be quiet the baby is sleeping' I've done it myself as a childminder but generally it's easier to carry on as much as you can. It's super hard when you're sleep deprived and don't wanna risk waking them up tho

“ I think it is about just getting on with it around them. It's really easy to slip into 'shhhh be quiet the baby is sleeping'”

Is it? I didn’t slip into this because I didn’t have to - my son slept through most of the “normal life” noises but not all of them. What does someone who has a baby who wakes every single time do? Just put up with a tired and grumpy baby in the hope that at some point they “learn”? That seems rather mean.

Daddy singing through two shut doors while doing the washing up is perfect my reasonable. I don’t intend to shut down adult activity in the house just because the kids are in bed. I wouldn’t want him shimmying into their room and doing his oasis impression but I think a bit of music while clearing up dinner is not only acceptable but fundamentally important. And the kids need to work around that. I will not Live in a house where life is on hold for 12 hours a day (yes mine sleep that much!). There must be a balance.

I don’t know, if there were something like that, which is specific and optional, that my husband were repeatedly doing that stopped me going to sleep I would probably ask him to stop doing it at that particular time. It’s just being kind really. Eg he turns the tv down if I go to bed before him because the sound travels through the floor into our bedroom, which he doesn’t have to do, because the tv is not on especially loudly, but sometimes this means he needs subtitles on if the programme has rather quiet dialogue. And I do the same for him. It’s not so much about what is a reasonable expectation of either of us, as what is the kind thing to do if someone is trying and failing to sleep.

I don't think it's purely luck, I think that noises during pregnancy have an effect

The number of people on here with differently sleeping twins (me included) would tend to suggest that if that has an effect, it's not a huge/the only one...

Yup. Luck. My daughter would wake up if the floorboards creaked. My son can sleep through a demolishing of an old building while there was thunderstorm going on.

@GailCindy and on the other hand, telling a parent it's down to luck rather than them getting it wrong can alleviate the feelings of failure as a parent, a good example of which came from @DefConOne.

I am not sure I understand your post. I was saying that it IS down to luck a lot of the time (my friend is "unlucky" in that her 8 week old is like a lot of people who cannot sleep peacefully through noise) and is dangerous to say that it isn't down to luck because she thinks she is doing it wrong because her baby isn't sleeping well enough and it affects his mood/feeding.

I thought you were saying that it's dangerous to suggest that it isn't down to luck because it could be a SEND issue and the parent would've blaming bad luck rather than the issue....

Babies need to feed regularly and have no concept of day and night. So when people claim their baby 'sleeps through the night' hmm I feel so sorry for that baby as their needs are obviously being ignored.

What absolute rubbish.

TBH I have seen it work in every way. Sometimes the parents will think it ISN'T about luck and because they are doing what the books say and their baby is still getting up during the night, there must be some health or development issue. That risks overdiagnosis which as a SEND parent I want to deny but the truth is that I do think some kids are incorrectly diagnosed with things like ASD or ADD but then a lot of kids are missed.

It is probably safest to say that luck pays no role. Sometimes just everything is right for that baby to sleep enough for the parents to not think sleep is a problem.

It’s definitely what they get used to. First house next door to a pub. Baby’s room opened onto a noisy beer garden. She slept through it fine and we deliberately weren’t quiet because of those ‘mental’ friends who spoke in whispers and wouldn’t let you flush the loo if you went for dinner cos it would wake the kids.
I live in a ground floor flat with twat students upstairs, endless DIY next door, on a main road with idiots bombing up and down it; flat has plasterboard walls - even between properties! - and creaky floors, screeching seagulls overhead and shrieky cats in the garden. DD is 8 months and a shit sleeper; when is she going to get used to the noise and sleep through it, please?

Of course it's luck. But congratulations to those of you who are such wonderful parents your babies sleep through anything and you don't have to be mental or whisper or prioritise your child's sleep over the hoovering, must be nice to be so naturally good at parenting!

Babies need to feed regularly and have no concept of day and night. So when people claim their baby 'sleeps through the night' hmm I feel so sorry for that baby as their needs are obviously being ignored.

I know midwives tell you to wake a baby 4 hourly in the first weeks. If my newborn didn't wake to feed, I would assume something was wrong then they were perfect. Maybe I am a pessimist my nature. I just think they are too small to go for that long without a drink or food. What I have been taught in my studies about newborns matches up with this.

Pfb dd I was very quiet for naps etc etc as so to make sure she slept well. Ds was born when dd was 14 months and he had to sleep through

Sorry posted too soon! Damn fingers..

Anyway, ds was born when dd was 14 months and he had to sleep through all her usually baby/young toddler noise throughout the day and to be fair he is a much better sleeper than dd was/is. He still naps in the buggy now at 18 months whereas dd hasn't slept in the buggy since being very very small.

Babies need to feed regularly and have no concept of day and night. So when people claim their baby 'sleeps through the night' I feel so sorry for that baby as their needs are obviously being ignored.

Utter bollocks. Both of mine got day and night early, fed loads during the day and slept well from 6 weeks and 12 hours from around 10 weeks. My first carried on that way, teething didn’t affect her and she sleeps like a log. My second struggles more with teething and does need comforting during the night- much more than when she was smaller. At 9m she is much harder work at night than at 6 weeks. My babies needs were not ignored and you just sound bitter.

Going back to the original question... my first was more flexible with noise and light. My second needs perfect conditions and routine or she freaks out.

When I say sleep through I'm talking 11-6, my first child hardly napped during the day but was a a fantastic sleeper at night 7-7 without fail. My following children just weren't like that my son especially fed every 3-4 hours night and day for what felt like months lol, the youngest was fussy and unsettled getting up several times a night for no obvious reason. I'm definitely baby led parent would never leave them to "cry it out"

My friend has a DD six weeks older then mine. Her little one slept through from eight weeks. Mine thought sleep was for other people until about seven months. When everyone warned me about the sleep regressions, I actually laughed because she had NOTHING to regress from! Now however she is suddenly a solid little sleeper and my friend's DD is not. Noise or lack of noise was never the issue for either baby.

It's all luck. And down to the baby's nature. Like all the other milestones such as crawling, walking and the like (obviously not including serious delays which can point to more complex needs). Comparing your baby to another is just another way to feel guilty at a time when you really don't need to.