To think neighbour isn’t nit picking for the sake of it?

[EatGrassAndPuke]

Detached houses. “Next door” is actually sideward on to us and we share the driveway. DH our Christmas lights on the outside of our house before Christmas. You can change the “light pattern” from just on all the time to slow twinkling and flashing. DD likes the flashing so we tend to have that one on. Neighbour has not mentioned it all over Christmas.

Last night we had the flashing pattern on. Neighbour has just stopped me on driveway to ask when we’re planning on taking the Christmas lights down as the flashing supposedly causes her bedroom to flash and prevents them getting to sleep. I asked why she’s not mentioned it until now so she said her DH is back at work today so they’ve “put up with it” but now he needs to be able to get to sleep on a night.

We have “history” with these neighbours and do not get on. AIBU to think this is just another excuse for them to start? We wasn’t planning on taking them down until Sunday.

Turn them off and take a bunch of flowers to them and apologise.

I would hate flashing lights constantly..

Flashing lights are so awful. I'd have been so angry if my neighbours were like you .

Our very lovely neighbours have flashing lights at the mo but because they are kind and considerate people they have them set to switch off at 10pm. When they are on the flashing comes through my bedroom shutters so sleep would be tricky if they left them on later than 10. I'm still mildly irritated by them being on in the evening but i know it's temporary and they are doing it for their young grandchildren so i'd be a completed grinch if I complained about them.

My neighbours decorated their conservatory with flashing lights. The way our houses are laid out means I can see these lights flashing from inside my living room and also in my bedroom, even when I have my blind down. It's awful and I've put up with it for the sake of keeping good relationships. But I wish people realised that flashing lights create a lot of disturbance. I wouldn't mind so much if it was a constant light or even if it faded on and off, but the flashing is incredibly intrusive and distracting. Turn them off OP

Be a good neighbour.
Be considerate.
Be kind.
Be thoughtful.
Be unselfish.
Be a nice person.

Simply... turn... the... lights... off...

You are actively choosing not to and think THEY are the problem?

Someone mentioned insect migration patterns being affected by external (particularly flashing) lights - and I would add that other wildlife finds them disturbing, too.
Not to mention the huge amount of energy they are consuming - hardly good for the planet.

flashing after 10 p.m are unreasonable whether your neighbour says something or not - so turn them off or take them down.

Don’t people have black out blinds on their bedrooms?

Admitedly I have v large windows, but blackout vertical bllinds, and a blackout lining to the curtains,
Blocks out most of the light, but I am still aware of flashing lights from emergency vehicles (parked outside or stopped at traffic lights on nearby junction), and refuse collection vehicles operating at night.

No need to faff with the settings - just turn them off FGS
You sound ghastly, far worse than "unreasonable".

Your neighbours have been very tolerant and reasonable, especially if your shared ‘history’ is that you’ve been similarly inconsiderate about other things.

Yabu my own flashing Christmas lights give me a headache after awhile

That statement is hilarious! Why have flashing lights then?! They annoy you, they annoy NDNs, they annoy just about the whole population going by this thread, have them static! They are an abomination. Along with blue lights.... do reassure us OP that they aren't blue....

Gosh, I bet you are the sort that have “history” with lots of people and there is a reason for that. The reason being you!

Just take the lights down or at least turn them off. Start the year by being a lot more considerate and maybe you’ll start getting on with those around you.

and remember to set them to go off at 9pm next year
(or just put them in your own or DDs beroom)

Continuous lighting or gentle twinkling would be bad enough, but flashing lights in a bedroom until midnight must be tortouous. They've sat on their frustration all this time and only mentioned it to you now that they need their sleep for work.

They're in no way nitpicking and have been eminently reasonable, given their neighbours apparently have no consideration. I have every sympathy with them.

YABVU, OP.

Don't be a twat. Turn the lights out.

The OP is never coming back...

I’ve messaged DH and he said he isn’t faffing with the settings for the sake of a few days.

The settings on my lights changed by pressing one button. How much faffing is required?

The alternative is to leave them off.

YABU. I’d hate to live next door to you. Disturbing your neighbours because DD likes flashing lights? Your neighbour has politely let you know that they are annoying but you and your DH refuse to rectify the situation.

You probably have history with a lot of people.

They have tolerated the lights over the Christmas period and have now asked for them to be switched off. You are being the unreasonable neighbour for refusing to do this, not them.

Let's be honest. Flashing lights are not only inconsiderate to the neighbours, they are also ugly, vulgar and common and not remotely festive. I'm baffled by anyone who likes them. They look bloody awful. Always!
Your lights are horrible OP. And you are rude. Be told.

Next year put them in your bedroom if you like them that much.

Wow. YABVU and really selfish and inconsiderate.

Who the hell cares whether your kid likes the flashing? She can’t even see them on the side of your house!

You should never have put lights on the side of your house in the first place considering the layout of your houses, and when you were inconsiderate enough to do that you most certainly shouldn’t have had them going off until midnight every night.

All your history and past disagreements are irrelevant. You have been selfish here and you should apologise and make sure you don’t repeat it next year.

Is your dd appreciating the flashing lights at midnight? Or is she young and fast asleep way before then?

Turn them on at 7pm and off at 9pm or leave them off if you don't take them down before Sunday.

Can't believe you'd even consider leaving them on flashing til midnight now you've been told what a nuisance they cause. Really you should have been considerate neighbours and thought about your impact on others way before this and certainly before having to be picked up on it.

Placemarking for the next excuse why the OP and husband can't change the light settings.

If your DH regards it as ‘faffing about’ to press the single switch that it takes to change the setting on lights I’m surprised he can manage basic every day tasks like putting his shoes on.

I had to put bacofoil over a Velux to block out neighbours’ flashing lights. Continuous would have been bearable