To think neighbour isn’t nit picking for the sake of it?

[EatGrassAndPuke]

Detached houses. “Next door” is actually sideward on to us and we share the driveway. DH our Christmas lights on the outside of our house before Christmas. You can change the “light pattern” from just on all the time to slow twinkling and flashing. DD likes the flashing so we tend to have that one on. Neighbour has not mentioned it all over Christmas.

Last night we had the flashing pattern on. Neighbour has just stopped me on driveway to ask when we’re planning on taking the Christmas lights down as the flashing supposedly causes her bedroom to flash and prevents them getting to sleep. I asked why she’s not mentioned it until now so she said her DH is back at work today so they’ve “put up with it” but now he needs to be able to get to sleep on a night.

We have “history” with these neighbours and do not get on. AIBU to think this is just another excuse for them to start? We wasn’t planning on taking them down until Sunday.

Yabu my own flashing Christmas lights give me a headache after awhile. Let alone someone else's

It sounds like you're the problem neighbours here OP. Sort yourself out.

People over the road to us have f;asking lights in til about midnight. If I'm in our en suite the flashing is very noticeable. Luckily due the angle it isn't affecting our bedroom. It would be very annoying if it did and would be affecting our sleep.

Is it difficult to adjust the pattern or timings?

I think you need to be reasonable over lights. Midnight is too late, and flashing in and off all the time is unreasonable too.

I would hate to be your neighbour and have to put up with your flashing lights!!!

Flashing lights till midnight ! Turn them off by 10pm .
In fact be neighbourly and don't switch them on now it's the 2nd .

Really, your DH won't change them as it's too much trouble ? He was happy to make them flash fir your daughter ......

You are 'those' neighbours. Just change the Time to a reasonable hour,

The thing about having history with your neighbours is that they very well might have made unreasonable requests in the past.

But that makes no difference to what they are saying now. It's entirely possible for them to have been unreasonable about something in the past whilst being perfectly reasonable this time round.

Lights that go outside houses are designed so that ANYONE can programme them or turn them on and off from the plug, nobody needs their DH to perform some manly manoeuvre in order to set them off or stop them.

You don't need a penis to operate Christmas lights, OP. Just unplug them. Unless your DH will get unpleasant with you for doing so, in which case you have more of a problem than hair-trigger neighbours.

Change the setting yourself. Its probably a case of just pressing the button the plug. It's a very reasonable request from your neighbour.

Turn them off and leave them off
Did you not consider it would disturb them
Really ?

Your poor, poor neighbours. Those lights would have triggered my migraines.

Don't be a dick....take them down

Why can’t you just accept on this occasion you’re wrong? Do the decent thing and turn them off at 8pm, it’s not hard, it’s not a faff, you’re both just being pig headed to try to prove a point.

And don’t say your daughter would notice the lights being turned off earlier either...🙄

Apologise and remove them.

Your neighbour obviously didn't want to sour the relationship between you any further, and so has tolerated the lights over the Christmas period, but now that they NEED to get a good night's sleep, she's broached the topic. It can't have been easy for her to mention it to you - please look on her comment as one coming from a place of tolerance, rather than her being arsey.

This is your chance to improve your neighbourly relations by showing some consideration.

TBH - flashing lights (or any light that shone into the bedroom) would drive me crackers. I would have mentioned it long before now.

Midnight is far too late. 10 is reasonable. I assume your dd isn't up at midnight (or even 10) to appreciate them? And, it's not even Christmas now.

Incredibly thoughtless of you to have flashing lights where you neighbour is affected.

Flashing lights are an abomination anyway. Take them down.

I'm glad I don't live next door to you and your delightful husband!
He's not prepared to alter the lights even though he knows it's causing a problem for the neighbours now they're back at work? What a peach
No wonder you don't get on with them if this is your attitude!

Someone round us has been going round cutting the wires of flashing lights. It does annoy people.

DH put flashy lights up.
The first night I went to bed early I asked him to put them on constant and change them to go off at
10. They were bloody annoying.

I think your neighbours have been lovely. I’d turn them off / take them down and leave a bottle of wine on the doorstep with a note saying “Sorry that the lights were bothering you. We didn’t realise.”

OP, switch the fecking lights off. Now. You're being selfish.

Oh my god you would be one of my worst neighbour nightmares. How can your daughter appreciate the outside lights when presumably she spends most of her time indoors? YABMASSIVELYU

Flashing lights on til midnight is quite inconsiderate.

Set them to stop at 9.