To think neighbour isn’t nit picking for the sake of it?

[EatGrassAndPuke]

Detached houses. “Next door” is actually sideward on to us and we share the driveway. DH our Christmas lights on the outside of our house before Christmas. You can change the “light pattern” from just on all the time to slow twinkling and flashing. DD likes the flashing so we tend to have that one on. Neighbour has not mentioned it all over Christmas.

Last night we had the flashing pattern on. Neighbour has just stopped me on driveway to ask when we’re planning on taking the Christmas lights down as the flashing supposedly causes her bedroom to flash and prevents them getting to sleep. I asked why she’s not mentioned it until now so she said her DH is back at work today so they’ve “put up with it” but now he needs to be able to get to sleep on a night.

We have “history” with these neighbours and do not get on. AIBU to think this is just another excuse for them to start? We wasn’t planning on taking them down until Sunday.

Why did you ask on here? Just so if people agreed you could feel proud of yourself for disturbing their sleep? I am shocked at the fact that when people disagreed with you decided your neighbours sleep was less important than adjusting the lights.

*EatGrassAndPuke^ YABU and your neighbours have been very considerate actually.

I have christmas lights in my bedroom (why on earth put lights up outside which you cannot see/enjoy? baffling imo) which have a number of settings which I can change by pressing a button. The flashing one is never used as it is so jarring and unpleasant. I prefer the permanently on setting or there is a soft gentle twinkle which is ok sometimes.

Thing is, your reasonable neighbour has left it until new year to ask you to switch off the intrusive flashing lights that are keeping them awake during the night (now that they are back at work). If you cannot fathom how to switch off the flash and just keep them on permanently, or better still, switch them off permanently, then you are a bad neighbour. Is that what you want?

You're husband is being a complete shit about this. Your neighbours have been very polite and long-suffering.

I really feel for them. My NDNs used to have flashing lights all over their front window, and they left them on all night. The flashing light crept in behind my bedroom curtains and drove me near demented with lack of sleep. For several years, I moved into the spare room for the whole of the Christmas period so that my sleep wasn't disturbed.

I knew there was no point in asking them to turn them off at night. Mr NDN is batshit and completely unapproachable.

Your DH doesn't sound a whole lot better, tbh.

I feel really sorry for your neighbours. You and your dh are deeply selfish and unpleasant

We have (static) christmas lights on the front of our house. One neighbour described them as "magical".

They still go off at 8.30 so that it doesn't disturb the kids in the street trying to sleep!

You don't need "settings" to control them. Just switch them off once your DD is in bed and won't miss the twinkling any more. Assuming she can actually see it from inside! Is indulging you child really worth upsetting the neighbours over?

Why is it so hard for some people to just be a nice person and do the right thing. There's so much of this me me me attitude lately. Sounds like your poor neighbours have to put up with a lot of crap from you .

Never mind about the history. Just switch them off. Showing a bit of good will may help your relations with them.

As an aside, I drove past a house the other day that had those sequential flashing lights, and it looked as though their house was melting.

Horrible.

Your neighbours sound like they have been pretty reasonable about it and have put up with flashing lights so as not to ruin the festive spirit of Christmas. As a decent neighbour I would take them down this weekend and not use the flashing setting or possibly switch them off tonight.

From now on and in future years have the lights on static and turn them off at 10. Explain to your dd that this is because it was flashing into your neighbours' house and stopping them sleeping. This will help your dd learn to be a thoughtful kind person.

Sorry OP flashing lights can be hugely annoying. Your neighbours have been more than reasonable. Do the decent thing and take them down now.
Call me snobbish if you want but I think that outside Christmas lights (and especially those that flash) just look naff once Christmas and New Year’s eve have gone.

You are not interested in improving your relationship with your neighbours then?
What a great way to start the new year.

I'll put money on your daughter being young enough to be in bed by early evening and this is just an excuse.

Flashing outside lights are awful. Inconsiderate and tacky.

I was convinced this was a reverse, as the neighbours have been more than reasonable, and haven't complained until back at work.
Of course you need to switch them off OP.

Why is it, @EatGrassAndPuke that you point out unreasonableness in others (your EH thread - yes I searched. So shoot me) but you don't see it in you and your husband's behaviour?

Did you move to nice town from chavtastic town and you don't know how to behave by any chance ?

Where are you OP? I’m hoping your absence from this thread is because you’ve gone round to your neighbour’s to apologise profusely and to attempt to be a better neighbour this year.

We've had some up around our bay window - and DD1 has been obsessed with trying to change the settings from "tasteful twinkle" to "disco inferno circa 1980" constantly... and she's been blooming well told to quit fiddling and change it back!

They were going on when the kids got in from school and going off when the kids went to bed pretty much as well and were taken down a few days ago. I may not like the neighbour opposite, and I can't stand the guy on one side of us (the other side is lovely) but I don't see the point of making things worse for the sake of making things worse unnecessarily.

"I’ve messaged DH and he said he isn’t faffing with the settings for the sake of a few days. "

You are both BVU. Surely all you need to do is press a button to change the settings? And do you always pander to your DD's demands over lights? Surely she's not still up at midnight. If you must leave them up just don't have them flashing.

My neighbour has similar all round the front and back of their house and it's like a ambulance is passing all the flipping time. You are monsters!

The first three seconds of this video may help you OP. It demonstrates how to pull a plug out of a socket.

@EL2019 I just snorted

Agree with other posters, just unplug them.

I agree with your neighbour. We have lights down the side of our house which go past bathroom window. I can't stand them flashing through when trying to have a bath, let alone our bedroom
My daughter likes them on flashing mode but I told her that the neighbours opposite might not appreciate it.