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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think neighbour isn’t nit picking for the sake of it?

302 replies

EatGrassAndPuke · 02/01/2020 07:25

Detached houses. “Next door” is actually sideward on to us and we share the driveway. DH our Christmas lights on the outside of our house before Christmas. You can change the “light pattern” from just on all the time to slow twinkling and flashing. DD likes the flashing so we tend to have that one on. Neighbour has not mentioned it all over Christmas.

Last night we had the flashing pattern on. Neighbour has just stopped me on driveway to ask when we’re planning on taking the Christmas lights down as the flashing supposedly causes her bedroom to flash and prevents them getting to sleep. I asked why she’s not mentioned it until now so she said her DH is back at work today so they’ve “put up with it” but now he needs to be able to get to sleep on a night.

We have “history” with these neighbours and do not get on. AIBU to think this is just another excuse for them to start? We wasn’t planning on taking them down until Sunday.

OP posts:
Ffsnosexallowed · 02/01/2020 07:27

Apologise and take them down - how bloody annoying!

Thethiniceofanewday · 02/01/2020 07:27

What sex said. Flashy lights can trigger migraines too. Take them down.

ShadowWeaver · 02/01/2020 07:28

Cant you just not turn them on?

toomuchtooold · 02/01/2020 07:29

If they've really been havig difficulty sleeping over the whole of Christmas it's a bit passive aggressive (and daft!) of her to have waited till now to say anything, but that's her problem I suppose. Could you just set them to switch off at say half 9? I must say those flashing lights give me a headache...

Finfintytint · 02/01/2020 07:29

Flashing lights are a bloody nuisance. Just remove them and don’t be an arse.

TopOftheNaughtyList · 02/01/2020 07:30

Do you leave them on all night? I like to see Christmas lights but if they're flashing you should turn them off at a decent hour.

IHateBlueLights · 02/01/2020 07:31

You're being a bad neighbour. Take the lights down and don't put them up next year.

Original poster
EatGrassAndPuke · 02/01/2020 07:31

They’re set to stop at midnight

OP posts:
wowfudge · 02/01/2020 07:31

Are the lights on all night? They shouldn't be. Just be neighbourly and sort it out - all you have to do is not switch them on for a couple of nights. Not going to cause you an issue is it?

wowfudge · 02/01/2020 07:32

X post. Switch them off at 10. Better still, leave them off until Sunday when you take them down.

MustDust · 02/01/2020 07:32

Not nit picking, I had to get DH to turn oura off when I needed an early night as no way I could sleep with the flashing.

Costacoffeeplease · 02/01/2020 07:32

‘Nit picking’? I think lights flashing into your bedroom is a bit more than nit picking

Don’t be an arse

M0nstermunch · 02/01/2020 07:33

YABU, just because your DD likes the flashing lights doesn't mean to have you make it difficult for your neighbors! Just take the lights down and have more consideration next xmas.

Costacoffeeplease · 02/01/2020 07:33

Cross post. Midnight? Wtf?

MegaClutterSlut · 02/01/2020 07:34

I don't think she is nit picking. Our opposite neighbour has a bright security light that come on when a person walks past her house. We live on a main road so flashes on and off constantly, it is bloody annoying!

LemonPrism · 02/01/2020 07:34

Anyone disrupting my sleep before work would be getting much more rage from my side

brassbrass · 02/01/2020 07:34

I'd say they've handled it like good neighbours so far and you haven't.

Sirzy · 02/01/2020 07:34

So set them up to switch off at 10 in future. My neighbour leaves the lights on all night last year I asked if she wouldn’t leave them flashing as it lit up my room all night - so she changed the setting. Because that’s what kind neighbours do!

MaybeDoctor · 02/01/2020 07:34

You are being very inconsiderate if you continue the flashing now that you know it’s a problem.

Oldraver · 02/01/2020 07:35

Why the fuck do you need lights on at midnight ?

At a very minimum turn them off earlier and take them off flashing

TW2013 · 02/01/2020 07:35

Surely DD is not still up at midnight? If she is then she is of an age where she can manage the disappointment of them not being on or at least not flashing after 9.

custardbear · 02/01/2020 07:35

YABU turn them off at 10pm ffs just because it doesn't bother you doesn't mean it's not a pain for others

Deathgrip · 02/01/2020 07:36

You’ve had lights up flashing unti their bedroom / house generally until midnight for the best part of a month? That is one of the most unreasonable things I’ve ever heard. How do people have the balls to do things like this? I would never! Your DH likes them flashing? They’re outside your house, he’s not the one looking at them!

I would tell them you’re very sorry for being so thoughtless, turn them off now permanently and take them down ASAP. It’s January anyway! Don’t put them back up next year, unless you’re happy to have them on all the time, not flashing, and off by a more reasonable time.

WhenDoesTheWashingEnd · 02/01/2020 07:36

If they'd said something before Christmas you'd be complaining they were being miserable.
They've been decent enough to wait until afterwards to bring it up with you. Not what I'd call nit-picking.

Flashing lights are a nuisance and it would be the decent thing to turn them off now or make sure they stop at a decent hour. Midnight is a bit late for many who have to be up early for work. (Wish my neighbours would!)

NeverTwerkNaked · 02/01/2020 07:38

Goodness! Just change them so they don't flash. The flashing ones are awful. Your neighbour is not being unreasonable. And set them to finish at about 10pm.