To think neighbour isn’t nit picking for the sake of it?

[EatGrassAndPuke]

Detached houses. “Next door” is actually sideward on to us and we share the driveway. DH our Christmas lights on the outside of our house before Christmas. You can change the “light pattern” from just on all the time to slow twinkling and flashing. DD likes the flashing so we tend to have that one on. Neighbour has not mentioned it all over Christmas.

Last night we had the flashing pattern on. Neighbour has just stopped me on driveway to ask when we’re planning on taking the Christmas lights down as the flashing supposedly causes her bedroom to flash and prevents them getting to sleep. I asked why she’s not mentioned it until now so she said her DH is back at work today so they’ve “put up with it” but now he needs to be able to get to sleep on a night.

We have “history” with these neighbours and do not get on. AIBU to think this is just another excuse for them to start? We wasn’t planning on taking them down until Sunday.

What a pair of entitled arseholes.

And no, I don't mean the neighbours.

OP if I was your neighbour I'd get my 'vicious dog' to rip the lights down.

Gawd op - you are awful neighbours.
Dd likes them flashing... so she watches them from inside the house? You’re using your dd as an excuse to be unpleasant to your neighbours. They probably didn’t ask you before because they know you’re obviously unneighborly, and now you’re being told by other posters that you’re behavior is inappropriate you are making excuses not to change it.

Faffing around with the settings? What bollocks! It’s literally just pressing a tiny button until the lights hit a constant light.

YABU, turn the bloody lights off or change them from flashing!

Poor neighbours. They haven’t said a word over Xmas tho sure it annoyed them

If dd is in bed then turn them off at 9/10. Esp for those who have to go back to work

If changing timer is too complicated 🙄 then switch off at wall and have no lights

They have been very tolerant over the Xmas period of a very annoying and intrusive light - and they are ‘ looking for a reason to start ‘ ? ?

The only unreasonable people here are you and your DH - you sound like awful neighbours.

I’ve messaged DH and he said he isn’t faffing with the settings for the sake of a few days.

Why can’t you do it? It is literally a button by the plug. You sound like awful neighbours and I bet there is more to it with the parking...

Turn them off until you take them down. They've been good not to mention it until now. I cant sleep with our lights flashing either (they shine into my bedroom), so I turn mine off at 10pm.

I have absolutely no understanding of why you couldn’t change the setting or turn them off a couple of days early just to show good willing. They’ve put up with it for a while without complaining 🤷‍♀️ Why not meet them halfway and do the right thing?

What lovely neighbours to put up with this and let you enjoy your Xmas lights over Xmas.

Your dd is indoors surely so she can't see the same things anyway!

If your husband won't change the settings then just switch them off by 10.

I'd hate to live next door to you. How thoughtless

There’s only one set of neighbours being unreasonable here.

It isn’t them.

If you don't change the setting now, then you're just setting yourself up for more drama in the future.

This is such an obvious clear cut YABU that it's almost a wind up.

If you can't be arsed to change the settings, just turn them off now. Christmas is over.

They've only just complained now so they've actually been very tolerant. If they were nit picking they would've been knocking on your door the night they went up.
If your house faces theirs then you were pretty inconsiderate to put flashing lights up anyway.

Why does your DH have to do it?

Turn them off. YABU

Ffs how do you not see that the problem in this neighbour relationship is you? I would hate to live near someone like you. You actually think that it’s reasonable to leave flashing lights on all night next to someone’s bedroom window? Oh my God. She’s probably been worrying all Christmas about saying something to you, because you are the neighbour from hell. What else do you do to upset them? Perhaps try showing a little consideration and you might get on better.

You're so clearly massively unreasonable that this has got to be a reverse... am i right?

YABU one of our neighbours has occasionally forgotten to turn hers off at night over Christmas and the flashing stops me sleeping even with blackout blinds. I've worn an eye mask on those nights so I can get up for work.
Turn them off before you go to bed and stop being selfish.

OP do you only do as your husband dictates then, you can’t choose to pull out a plug yourself?

Some...err...robust responses on this thread!

OP I suppose they tolerated it over the festive period being off work and what not, but now it’s back to normal they’d quite like the flashing to stop. Yanbu to have the lights and they are nbu to ask you to switch the flashing off before they go back to work if it disturbs their sleep. They have broached it with you politely.

Think your dh is being a tool shrugging their request off though. God forbid he should have to ‘faff’ in order to stop disturbing the neighbours.

Does your DD camp out in the front garden so she can see them all the time?

Bloody turn them off. Your NDNs haven't said anything because they are probably reasonable people and thought... it won't be long... now the husband is back to work, he wants some sleep !

I can't believe you won't adjust them, or turn them off when you have been politely asked.

Why don't you just switch them off when dd goes to bed? Could be part of the bed routine.