To think neighbour isn’t nit picking for the sake of it?

[EatGrassAndPuke]

Detached houses. “Next door” is actually sideward on to us and we share the driveway. DH our Christmas lights on the outside of our house before Christmas. You can change the “light pattern” from just on all the time to slow twinkling and flashing. DD likes the flashing so we tend to have that one on. Neighbour has not mentioned it all over Christmas.

Last night we had the flashing pattern on. Neighbour has just stopped me on driveway to ask when we’re planning on taking the Christmas lights down as the flashing supposedly causes her bedroom to flash and prevents them getting to sleep. I asked why she’s not mentioned it until now so she said her DH is back at work today so they’ve “put up with it” but now he needs to be able to get to sleep on a night.

We have “history” with these neighbours and do not get on. AIBU to think this is just another excuse for them to start? We wasn’t planning on taking them down until Sunday.

Well, you're at a crossroads now. The parking thing may be batshit but the flashing lights isn't. Next you'll be saying they're blue which would make you look like a massive swear word but surely nobody is not that unreasonable?!

Just don't turn them on or change the setting yourself.

Switch them off and apologise would be my advice. And next year put them on 3:30 - 9:30 in static mode. Explain to your daughter that life is much better if we compromise and are kind. Wouldn't it be good to get on with your neighbours? Taking the first conciliatory step would be a great way to start the new decade.

You sound like absolutely awful neighbours and I feel really really sorry for the poor people who have to endure living next to you.

They’ve been really polite and patient about your terrible flashing lights; you and your DH are being utter bastards in refusing to switch them off and give them some peace now they are back at work.

Flashing lights that face into someone's bedroom is very rude, any lights are really.

How is pulling a plug out a faff?

Change the setting yourself if your DH won't do it.

@EatGrassAndPuke

I’ve messaged DH and he said he isn’t faffing with the settings for the sake of a few days.
It involves pressing a button on the light controller a couple/a few times to change the pattern to twinkling or static. If it involves getting a ladder out it would still only take 10 minutes. That would be a decent compromise OP.

If your DH isn't prepared to do that then it does sound like you may be the ones who are exacerbating the situation between you and the neighbour. You could improve relations by compromising on this.

Mist houses in our street had flashing lights this year, they are very popular. We have a couple of wall projectors, as do next door and three doors down. Everything was off by ten. (Some early as most people tend to turn them off when they go to bed. The only night they stayed on later was when everyone was at ours for a Christmas party. Any of us would be mortified if our lights were bothering someone else and make changes straight away. It’s just the neighbourly thing to do.

So now you know that it is bothering them and affecting their ability to get to sleep, your DD surely is long in bed by midnight, changing the setting probably take about 2 seconds, but you and your OH are not going to do anything about it.

Good luck for the future, because the history is bound to be extend into the future. You are the epitome of unconsiderate for the sake of it. It's passive aggressive behaviour, although I expect the type of people who will shout that they are innocent victims when they retaliate in some way.

Come on OP, react with more maturity and turn the setting to come off after 9pm if you still want them until Sunday.

Yabu. Turn then off at about 8 or take them down!

Selfish neighbours piss me off. OP you are being completely unreasonable.

Yep we turnt ours off between 8 and 9. One neighbour left theirs on and the flashing came through the curtains

It’s not for the sake of a few days it’s for the sake of being polite and letting people get some sleep.
A few days is a long time to have disrupted sleep on a work night.
As people say, just unplug.

YANBU. You're not a mind reader and they should have said something about it sooner.

YABU to keep them on now though, out of pure laziness.

Is this a reverse?

So you had lights that flashed until midnight and your neighbours put up with it until after New Year’s Eve and you are complaining.

You really sound like an awful, selfish neighbour.

Any of us would be mortified if our lights were bothering someone else and make changes straight away. It’s just the neighbourly thing to do.

I just don't get this.

I can get lights inside your house. I can get lights on trees in your garden outside your house that you can see from your window. I cannot understand the people who cover their house in lights for the benefit of everyone else who has no choice in the matter but that you, inside your house, don't have to look at.

Your DD surely can’t see the lights unless she is standing outside so I don’t understand why they were set to permanently flash.

If this was "just another excuse for them to start" they would have complained as soon as you put the lights up. You're lucky they've been extremely tolerant so far. If your daughter likes flashing lights so much, put them in her room.

Fenella I thought the same. Must be.

I'd hate to have the flashing lights on! Why would you do that? Surely you must know how bloody annoying they are

I can totally see why your neighbours have issues with you.

And let's be honest, if they are on the outside of your house then your dd wouldn't even bloody see them

I'm a bit surprised by the 'robustness' of many responses on here. Why can't people give suggestions rather than ordering the OP to turn the lights off or take them down? Such a lot of anger over something that doesn't personally affect you.