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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH is refusing to buy me medicine

551 replies

bloodyperiod1 · 01/01/2020 22:13

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate? Sad

OP posts:
ClappyCheeks · 02/01/2020 08:52

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Actionhasmagic · 02/01/2020 08:55

He’s a wanker

SandyY2K · 02/01/2020 08:56

I say give him a taste of his own medicine and kick him square in the bollocks.

What a sensible suggestion from you ...because violence is the way to go obviously. SMH

ClappyCheeks · 02/01/2020 08:57

I’m pretty sure if the man was at home Ill and the OP was asked to come home home early to get him painkillers, he’d be accused of being controlling and that he didn’t want her out with her mates. He’d be asked why couldn’t he have got painkillers when he knew this happens every month

Agreed.

SandyY2K · 02/01/2020 09:00

Why does he even have to see or visit friends?

Because marriage means bin your friends off of course. What a very foolish comment to make.

Single parents don't have babysitters and hardly have a social life.

The ones you know may not, but others do...and even if single parents don't have a social life...why should others have to go through the same?

Your comments sound highly uneducated and quite frankly bizarre.

SandyY2K · 02/01/2020 09:01

I’m pretty sure if the man was at home Ill and the OP was asked to come home home early to get him painkillers, he’d be accused of being controlling and that he didn’t want her out with her mates. He’d be asked why couldn’t he have got painkillers when he knew this happens every month

100%.

Wowwe · 02/01/2020 09:01

Think this maybe about him being out and you wanting him home and got a feeling it’s a regular occurrence, which is why he’s not doing it? I couldn’t be that needy. Pain or no pain

Geschwister4 · 02/01/2020 09:05

Because marriage means bin your friends off of course. What a very foolish comment to make.

It also means caring for your spouse and being concerned about them if they are ill.

I always buy paracetamol when I go to the supermarket, but at this time of year when there are so many other things to buy and Christmas/boxing/NY which are not normal shopping days in some areas, I think it is understandable that things get overlooked. I also think it is a really mean person who can think ' well your fault for being disorganised so you deserve to now be in pain, YANBU OP.

Goatinthegarden · 02/01/2020 09:08

My DH would, without a doubt, drop his pals and go and buy me painkillers if I requested (and be really nice about it). He’s a much kinder and more caring person than me. I’d probably have a small (mostly inward) strop about coming home to pick up paracetamol.

But I actually wouldn’t interrupt his night out, unless it was an absolutely dire emergency. DH doesn’t have all that many nights out though. He also keeps a steady supply of every medication known to man and a fully stocked first aid kit. If it was left up to me, we’d run out of everything and anything.

I don’t know OP’s situation though, maybe her DH is always out and she’s not interrupting anything important. Maybe she really is in the worst pain imaginable, maybe she just needs some comfort from DH.

MrsMillerbecameababy · 02/01/2020 09:09

I can't believe women have written these comments. Bloody hell some women are so deeply indoctrinated into believing women are less important than men and should put their needs after men's wants that if I weren't reading this on a mobile device rather than a Victorian women's magazine, I'd think I'd travelled back in time at least 150 years...

Spudlet · 02/01/2020 09:09

There are some horrible marriages on this thread, of the attitudes of certain posters are reflective of their relationships. Cold as ice.

DH would never leave me in pain when he could do something about it, and neither would I him.

Hope you’re ok, op.

Equanimitas · 02/01/2020 09:10

Why does he even have to see or visit friends?

That may be one of the weirdest questions I've seen on MN. Since when did being married mean that you push friends out of your life for ever?

GiveHerHellFromUs · 02/01/2020 09:12

This thread is hilarious.

You were being unreasonable.
You know you have the cramps at the same time every month so just make sure you have some variation of painkiller at home.

Let's be honest, the real reason was that you wanted him to come home.

If I'm visiting a friend I wouldn't even bother looking at my phone. If it was the other way round, you'd be pissed off he was trying to force you home.

mysmidgey · 02/01/2020 09:16

He also brought me back an Easter egg which we both ate it while complaining about the fact that it was February.

😂😂 sounds like me and my dh.

I'm glad I married a nice guy.

Lweji · 02/01/2020 09:25

Pps complaining about my post about going out with friends. Grin
If you can't see the reasoning behind it, then never mind. Keep going.

ahenderson270 · 02/01/2020 09:26

But @SandyY2K it's ok to assume she's a feckless idiot that can't complete simple tasks and just take care of herself and it's utterly unreasonable for her to ask for a small favour from the man he vowed to love and cherish her .. 😱 lol you guyssssssss it's crack me up if it wasn't a gaggle of standers bullying another stranger over the internet because there's no come back for being nasty and it's like some odd little power trip haha!!

Geschwister4 · 02/01/2020 09:27

Let's be honest, the real reason was that you wanted him to come home.

That is pure projection.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 02/01/2020 09:33

If I needed ANYTHING my DH would get it for me if he could... BUT I wouldn’t interrupt him on a night out unless it was a REAL emergency or it was for one of the children.

If I needed paracetamol right now and had children too young to leave (mine are practically grown up now) and pretending that I don’t have enough painkillers to stock a pharmacy in the cupboard.... I could knock on a neighbours door but I wouldn’t be calling my DH.

QueenOfTheSavages · 02/01/2020 09:40

I must remember to tell my DP how wonderful he is today, he would never leave me in pain. He'd get the painkillers and not moan about it - same as I would do for him.

OP I hope you're felling a little better

FiddlesticksAkimbo · 02/01/2020 09:43

That is pure projection

As is much of this thread, and indeed AIBU Grin

We have a few sentences, and know nothing about their relationship or the context The few sentences we do have might be a distortion, and give us no hint as to why the husband might behave this way.

He might be a sociopathic monster. She might be a controlling cow. We don't know. We project. (And let's be honest, we almost invariably assume the man is awful and the woman is a saint!)

53rdWay · 02/01/2020 09:43

I would be absolutely fine with my DH calling me for painkillers when I was at a friend’s, if I was minutes away from a shop/home and he was home with young children and in so much pain he couldn’t sleep. Would obviously not be thrilled if he made a habit of it but as a one-off I wouldn’t think twice. Really surprised so many people here would refuse.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 02/01/2020 09:45

You would rather bother your (possibly sleeping) neighbors at 10 o'clock at night than ask your husband?

Why?

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 09:46
  1. Yes, to refuse a sincere request for pain relief is selfish. That’s not saying it was the only selfish action that night, or even exactly what happened.
  2. To assume the dh is a selfish twat who frequently hangs out round his friends’ houses while his dw never gets to go out and does all the work, is misandry. In my relationship, if either I or my dh are out visiting friends for the night, this is a rare occurrence for both of us, organised well in advance, and if my dh were on such a rare evening out, I would consider myself a selfish twat to calculate that he was only round the corner with an unimportant friend and should go fetch me paracetamol just because I have pain that is not severe enough to justify anything stronger than the mildest over the counter pain relief. If, on the other hand, he’s always round with that friend who also knows the OP well, then such a request would not be so unreasonable.
  3. If the cramps are that appalling, then paracetamol is not the thing to ask for, so this gives the impression the cramps are not so bad that a hot water bottle and a warm bath would be just as effective.
  4. If the cramps are that appalling and the OP’s periods are regular enough that the OP knows her period is due next week and these are normal period cramps for her that she always gets, as stated in her own post, then I am surprised that she did not already have something more effective than paracetamol in the house to deal with it - or at the least, paracetamol, as it is genuinely not remotely difficult to ensure you do not run out of paracetamol.
  5. It is unclear from the opening post whether the dh actually refused to get paracetamol for the OP, or just refused to bring it round immediately. It sounds like the phone conversation was rapidly quite fractious, which is unfortunate.
  6. Whether just the dh, or both the dh and the OP, were selfish in their actions is something none of us can know on the back of the tiny amount of information given.
1foot2feet · 02/01/2020 09:46

We all mess up and forget things, I know I need to get milk for DD every night but still forget some days, I am sure we have all gone to the supermarket and come home and kicked ourselves for forgetting the one thing you really needed, even though it was written on the list (cue the sanctimonious posters who are so perfect they've never forgotten anything ever in their whole lives). Yes she should have got painkillers, but she didn't, I read the OP as she wanted him to run the painkillers to her so she could sleep and he was free to go back to the friends after doing so. Some of you are clearly projecting your relationship onto OP's...

Original poster
bloodyperiod1 · 02/01/2020 09:47

Just cleaning after breakfast, will be back

OP posts:
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