DH is refusing to buy me medicine

[bloodyperiod1]

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate?

As it stands for the paracetamol though, I still think OP was being unreasonable for contacting her DH about that. Especially when it turned out that she did have paracetamol in some form at home already and that she hadn't tried warm bath/compress/hot water bottle etc before.

And he was upset to see that the OP had taken the initiative herself, as if she had to wait for him to get his arse in gear and be grateful when he finally stirred himself.

A nice warm bath for pain that was akin to labour?
A hot compress or hot water bottle?

You jest, surely?

And what if she had consumed the 8 teaspoons of Calpol necessary to make one adult dosage from baby Calpol, or the 4 Child Calpol teaspoons, and later in the night one of the DCs had woken needing Calpol?

Yes I get that. She made the decision. Which was the best thing though, regardless of whatever anyone else thinks.
First few nights home with our DC1 my DH would shout "shut the fuck up" everytime the baby woke through the night.
I do have feeding shaming, yes, but about myself only. I remember when DC7 was only a few days old and our midwife brought bottles, sterliser and readymade formula because of massive weightloss and FTT. Still breastfed aswell. But I was so disappointed with myself. Same so with the youngest, who was prem, is still tiny and CMPA. But this thread isn't about me and I'll say no more as I don't want to out myself!

I do still think OP WBU about the original topic though.
G'night.

Well to be fair, lots of women DO use warm baths/pools for labour and birth. No pain relief needed...

To be honest, my DH would have and has done the same.

I am so sorry you think this is all you deserve. Tbh your posts make me feel very sorry for what you think is normal. good luck to you. I hope some day you think beyond protecting your partner's lack of interest in your life and into what you deserve as a human being.

First few nights home with our DC1 my DH would shout "shut the fuck up" everytime the baby woke through the night.

oh god ...

They would feel far more comfortable with pain relief, speaking as someone who has done both. Nobody is giving out medals for endurance.

And if they choose pain relief, is it ok for their H or anyone else to say 'No, stick with the cup of tea, the hot water bottle and the warm bath'?

Blimey, who found paracetamol effective relief for severe labour pains? If the pain was that bad, I would have been calling an out of hours doctor, not going to sleep.

Is it possible to sleep when having severe labour pains?

A nice warm bath for pain that was akin to labour?
A hot compress or hot water bottle?

Go and do a pain management course at hospital and you'll be told to do just that plus mindfulness techniques, relaxation and all sorts of other non pharmacological techniques to treat pain that is currently being treated by opiate medication, as opposed to paracetamol.

If it's correct for people with CRPS (generally considered to be the worst pain imaginable) to use these techniques then I'm quite sure it's sensible to try some of them to treat stomach ache/period pain.

Since there is national concern about overuse of paracetamol as well as stronger, prescription painkillers, yes I have been advised to try a warm bath and lying down with a hot water bottle first. This is not possible if trying to get on at work, but eminently possible at 10pm.

Exactly. We were shown comparisons as to how well certain non pharmacological techniques work against how well drugs, including OTC as well as opiods work and it was quite interesting.

For the most part, relaxation, heat, cold, gentle exercise, massage work just as well, if not better than medication for a lot of pain.

Well to be fair, lots of women DO use warm baths/pools for labour and birth. No pain relief needed...

It doesn't go away, though, for most. It just makes it more bearable.
I had DS with hardly any pain relief (gas and air) and that pain wasn't much worse than my usual period pain. Do I regularly want to suffer them? No. So, I take medicine, which works quite well in contrast.

I also can't sleep or work in a warm bath.

Opioids for pain relief are for chronic pain and managing acute pain after major surgery such as a C-section.

Pain relief during labour is a woman's right. Anyone telling a labouring woman what she should do instead of opting for, say, an epidural, is just being an arrogant twat, because nobody but the woman in pain has any idea what it feels like for her, and that experience is the only one that mattes when it comes to the method of pain relief chosen.

It is not up to a husband or anyone else to fold their arms and effectively deny someone pain relief based on their idea of how much pain someone else should be able to deal with and how they should deal with it. If they could with a minimum of effort get off their arse and find pain relieving medicine but choose not to, then add 'arrogant' to the list of unattractive qualities in that person.

Is it possible to sleep when having severe labour pains?

The OP didn't say severe labour pains.
So I made myself a cuppa, and went to bed. I thought if I lied down, it would help. But it just wouldn’t go away, I couldn’t sleep and felt like I was in labour!

I once thought I was having incredibly bad period cramps, well out of the ordinary for me, but it turned out to be a miscarriage. I had had an episode of bleeding that I took to be a period a few weeks earlier.

Hopefully that isn't what happened to the OP here.

Pain that severe wouldn't be helped by paracetamol though so this is a moot point.

If she had such severe pain her DH bringing her paracetamol wouldn't have helped.

More moderate pain likely would have been helped by a hot water bottle or a bath just as successfully as paracetamol so,in the absence of any paracetamol, op might have got relief by trying one of those.

mathanxiety - well, make up your mind whether the OP was in labour or not, rather than bizarrely launching into her right to have demanded an epidural in her situation. And stop accusing people of saying they think the dh should have folded his arms and refused his dw pain relief when they have already said multiple times his refusal to get her paracetamol was unreasonable. It is possible in real life for more than one person to have been unreasonable in any given situation.

It is possible in real life for more than one person to have been unreasonable in any given situation.
Absolutely, and is my view on this thread - they were both unreasonable.

Pain that severe wouldn't be helped by paracetamol though so this is a moot point.

It's a moot point because he never got her paracetamol, rather.
She didn't take any. We don't know if it would have helped or not.
Pain is not maths. What works for some, may not work for others and vice versa. And what works for some pains may not work for others. And vice versa. It's not just a matter of severity.

It's this sort of definitive statement that I disagree with when mentioning what works for me.
Whatever studies show, rely on averages. People should use whatever works for them. And they may need to try different drugs or dosages.

Well, if you suffer from pain so severe that it feels like you are in labour, and you know that paracetamol relieves it, you would make sure that you had paracetamol with you at all times

Had the pain come on 45 minutes later, or the husband hadn't got the message before 11 when the last shop closed, there wouldn't have been an option to get any paracetamol so what would op have done then?

Why was the suggestion to try a warm bath such a terrible one? It might well have worked.

Lweji - but paracetamol was not available to the OP and she didn’t know whether it would work because she had never used it for her period cramps before, so it is perfectly legitimate to point out she could have tried other things without someone butting in constantly to say but those things don’t work for them, especially when paracetamol is not considered to be the most effective choice for most people. Of course other things may not have worked - you don’t know what will work until you’ve tried it, and jumping immediately to painkillers when other options can be tried first would never be my choice.

But it was OP's first choice, rightly or wrongly.
Her H still went nowhere and got her no pain relief at all.

There you go. X isn't the most effective. You don't know whether it would have worked enough for the op or not. And it's certainly better than hot baths for most people.

I'm still surprised that you were the one claiming that people are different but are still defending and using blank statements to criticise the OP. Can't you see how hypocritical that is?

At that time of night paracetamol would probably be the best you could find with no pharmacies open. Even if it took the edge off slightly it’s better than nothing? Perhaps OP can’t take ibuprofen for whatever reason which would really be the only alternative.