DH is refusing to buy me medicine

[bloodyperiod1]

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate?

I wouldn’t be willing to stay with any bloke who was unwilling to buy me medication when needed for nightmare period pains

Equally if you've got a recurrent medical issue then it's your responsibility to maintain sufficient levels of medication.

Medication that gets shared between people. Unless of course you like to box off unisex items in your house and write NOT FOR YOU FUCKER on them in case he has a hangover. Which frankly I would be doing after he refused to get me any.

People can’t see the wood for the trees in this thread! He’s a stonewalling prick! He is abusive!

GloGirl

For starters I have multiple boxes. A couple.of packets in my bags and I know exactly how many are in there plus before I go shopping I check the stocks in the 1stnaid box and in the medicine cupboard. I do it with all of our OTC medicine - paracetamol, nurofen, imodium, piriton etc etc. Same as we check how much toothpaste, toilet roll, shampoo, tissues etc we have on a weekly basis. It's not hard to have a few packs of OTC medicine at home.

Fuck me, some people have really low standards for their partners.

paranoidmum2 - that’s as ridiculous as claiming she’s a controlling, manipulative attention seeker who wanted to get him away from his friend. Nobody on this thread has the faintest clue how bad her pain was, nor whether paracetamol would have made the much difference, nor what her relationship is really like with her dh, nor what was really said between them during the phonecall, nor how often he hangs around at his friend’s or what he was doing with him there. Nobody knows enough about the situation to do anything other than respond to their own presumptions (and Lweiji, your amazing response to paracetamol and total inability to get relief from hot baths or hot water bottles has nothing whatsoever to do with the OP either, given that she has never attempted any remedies for her cramps before, anyway, so shouldn’t really start on one that is not recommended).

Fuck me, some people have really low standards for their partners.

Or we have higher standards for.oureselves and believe in personal responsibility.

People can’t see the wood for the trees in this thread! He’s a stonewalling prick! He is abusive!

Did you only have 3 squares left to dab on your Mumsnet Bingo card?

@53rdWay presuming OP was on maternity leave when baby needed formula and dad at work. I'd say she sounds pretty unorganised. When you have a baby you make sure you have plenty formula in. Especially in case they are ever ill and drinking more than normal.
If she's responsible for doing the weekly shop she sounds rubbish. There's certain things you don't run out of and formula is definitely one of them. It's the babies only source of food. It's like letting your cupboards get completely bare.

@Walkaround
I was exactly pointing out that people's presumptions (and the NHS) didn't necessarily match with individual experiences.

And btw, the NHS says "You could also try paracetamol, but studies have shown that it does not reduce pain as well as ibuprofen or aspirin."
It doesn't say it is "pretty ineffective".
www.nhs.uk/conditions/period-pain/

And aspirin is stupid for periods. I wonder who came up with that sort of advice. It's a blood thinner.
"But if you take aspirin regularly, you may notice that your periods are heavier or longer than usual." www.webmd.com/women/meds-affect-period#1

@Greggers2017 she was BFing and wanted to give baby formula so that's why she didn't have any in.

@GiveHerHellFromUs yes, it's really hilarious to make jokes about a situation where a woman's husband doesn't speak to her all day because she dared to formula feed her child. But you have fun with your MN Bingo cliche. 👏

Basically it all comes down to, even if you're in a relationship do everything for yourself,rely only on yourself and don't expect your partner to ever do anything that you could do yourself.

What's the point in being in a relationship then?

Lweji - and I was exactly pointing out that you know nothing about the OP, so your personal experience is irrelevant. Her partner was unreasonable not to help her, but it would not have been unreasonable for her to try out other methods of pain relief when paracetamol was quite obviously not available and she didn’t even know whether it would be particularly helpful. Complaining on mumsnet was certainly not going to be an effective form of pain or any other type of relief! She had access to a lot more than her dh’s unforthcoming mercy. So, no, she was not unreasonable to think her dh was inconsiderate, but yes, she could have tried other things in the hope they worked, and could benefit from professional advice if the pain was that severe. What works or does not work for Lweji is not relevant to her.

The point was that pps posted as if their suggestions (bath and warm bottle) was a sure thing. Or even that it was effective for bad period pain.
Oh, wait, you
"A hot water bottle or warm bath is about as effective as the relief offered by paracetamol."

And the paracetamol being useless was wrong, btw. Just pointing that out again.

The only good suggestion on this thread was to take Calpol, which the OP didn't seem to read in time to take it.

lLweji - no, you were just busy trashing any suggestion whatsoever other than paracetamol, because that’s what works for you.

@paranoidmum2 I think your username is speaking volumes.

I don't know how you can call him abusive.

And "people can't see the wood for the trees" - in what sense exactly? Because I think everyone's kind of grasped the situation and people just have different opinions...

Oh, and I never said at any point said paracetamol is useless - given that I don’t think a warm bath and hot water bottle are useless, that should be self-evident.

No, people were trying to convince the OP that a warm bath would do the same job as paracetamol instead of bothering her precious husband. Very different from suggesting that she could try it first to see if it worked.
Even the NHS doesn't say paracetamol and heat have the same effect. It just suggests that people try it.
www.nhs.uk/conditions/period-pain/

And I pointed out a factual error that paracetamol is useless. First with personal experience and then with an actual quote from the site mentioned erroneously.

Walkaround Fri 03-Jan-20 10:04:43
"(...) paracetamol, which even the NHS website says is pretty ineffective for period pain"

Just one degree above useless, I suppose.

@GiveHerHellFromUs silent treatment is a sign of abuse. Not all abuse is physical or shouting. Not talking to your partner all deal (especially when he was the one who refused to help feed their baby by buying formula) is silent treatment.

People are too busy telling OP that she should have had stocks in to acknowledge the silent treatment.

Ibuprofen does nothing for me when I have menstrual cramps, I may as well pop TicTacs. It has to be paracetamol.

No, you are making presumptions about what people were saying, Lweji. If I didn’t have access to paracetamol, I wouldn’t diss a warm bath and hot water bottle. And yes, I would try that before bothering my precious husband, just as I would expect him to try such things before bothering his precious wife. My presumption of your meaning on the other hand is that once the OP knew she had no access to paracetamol, she should have thrown all her toys out of the pram and deliberately done nothing else that might have helped the situation.

Mhm...