DH is refusing to buy me medicine

[bloodyperiod1]

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate?

Paracetamol does fuck all really. If you're really in pain, as pp says it doesn't touch the sides.

I still can't work.out why it's become his.problemnto.solve.

Because she was unable to solve it herself as she was at home looking after their children. It was not unreasonable that op had a problem and asked her partner for help. Are we supposed to all be so independent these days that we can never ask another person for help, never forget something without being expected to then be in pain as some sort of punishment for disorganisation?

I think this is a good illustration of how unbalanced MN can be where men are concerned.

Well of course it's unbalanced because there are thousands of users who all have individual views on everything, just like in the real world...

OP - I think you need to think about your husband. Is he there for you "in sickness and in health"?

As to a lot of other posters: just what time machine did you come in?
I would go out of my way to get painkillers for a partner, a friend or even my nextdoor neighbour - its common human decency.

I think it's unreasonable of you to expect him to leave his mates to go buy you paracetamol. If you know you get like this surely you would make sure you had some at home. I get migraines around my period, I'm a single parent so can't just pop out whenever so I always have pills at home incase! You sound like my ex husband, a drama queen.

If you know you suffer pain get some on your weekly shop. Not difficult really is it? Most people have them in all the time anyway, well at least people I know do.
As for saying you didn't know adult doses of calpol. It's on the box 🙄
I just think you didn't want your DH to be out with his mates. To me you are more selfish than your DH. He can't even enjoy a night out. If a woman posted on here that her partner called her back when she was out she'd be told he was controlling and to leave him.

There aren’t adult doses on the infant version @soembarrassing19.

@soembarrassing19 I think your right, that she just didn't want him to be out with his mates!

To me you are more selfish than your DH. He can't even enjoy a night out.

And how selfish of their baby to need formula the time he refused to get that too! The poor poor man, beleaguered from all sides.

Cannot decide if some people on here are shot partners themselves or just have standards for men that are at fucking floor level.

If a woman posted on here that her partner called her back when she was out she'd be told he was controlling and to leave him.

This.

And how selfish of their baby to need formula the time he refused to get that too

To be fair, it's hammered into us at antenatal classes etc that breast is best.

Just from the other side of the formula thing - I never wanted to breastfeed regardless. I told DP that I would do the first feed in hospital and after that we'd bottle feed.
Then when LO came along she made it so easy to breastfeed and I changed my mind completely.

After two weeks I started to really struggle. My nipples were so sore and baby just wanted to cluster feed. I do think I had a bit of PND too but never spoke to anyone profession about this because I felt like a failure.

I begged DP to go and get formula. He said he would if that's what I really wanted but he wanted me to really think about it to make sure I was sure (by this point I was SO proud I'd been breastfeeding and I told him I'd do it until she'd had her first injections, then second, then third, then we made it to 6 months!).

I told him I couldn't possibly feed her anymore as it hurt too much. Instead, he went out and bought a breast pump and some nipple cream (I'd never even heard it before but omg it changed my life).
I pumped for a few days then was able to go back to BF.

He wasn't being abusive. He wasn't being an awful man. He knew that if I switched to FF I'd be disappointed in myself and wanted to make sure I was certain before I did. I'm so glad that he did.

OPs DH may have done that to be a bastard, but given he said he'd get it in the morning if she still wanted it, she might just be using it as a stick to beat him with.

I think the problem with this thread is, many people don’t actually believe the OP’s pain was that bad, given that all she wanted was paracetamol, which even the NHS website says is pretty ineffective for period pain. Her opening post was also totally misleading, given that she said she always gets awful cramps, but then admitted they are not normally that bad, hardly last any time at all and she hasn’t needed to take anything for them before - which explains why she is clueless about appropriate pain relief. Basically, her original description of her pain and the relief she required would not trigger many people to call on others to get them pain relief late at night - it sounded eminently bearable, and whilst it is selfish not to respond to calls for help, it is also selfish to call for help when you don’t really need to.

She would have got more sympathy from more people if she had said she had uncharacteristically awful cramps that were so painful she couldn’t sleep and was desperate for relief from the pain and/or some reassurance, but her dh refused to help. She didn’t though, she just came across as a bit petulant, cross and demanding in the first post.

@Walkaround also it's common for extra details like this arrive when a thread isn't going the way the OP would like.

Well, yes, but that is a negative assumption. As is the assumption that she gave no response to the thread until the next day because she got a good night’s sleep despite the lack of pain relief!

@Walkaround Quite!

I'm probably in the minority here, but I'd be happy with him bringing them on his way home, and would worry that I sounded a bit like I was trying to sabotage his night out and making it all about me.

@Barbie222 I think you need to RTFT as the new issue is he didn't actually bring any home

@happycamper11 I really hope I never have to ask you for help - your level of cynicism is quite unbelievable.

I do remember when Mumsnet offered support to people rather than sought to just kick someone when they were down.

I have given paracetamol to a wide range of people when they have asked for some, and I also sometimes run out.
To be honest if this had been my post I wouldn't have bothered to come back. Paracetamol might not be the best solution, but late at night and if such cramps don't usually linger - it is an understandable response.
I have had my children heat up a microwave hot water bottle when "mummy hasn't felt well".

The way people assume she is always phoning her husband on his night outs - probably reflects more on them than the OP.
If you are in a relationship/marriage then surely you are there for each other? My now Ex would bring home chocolate etc. if I whinged to him, and I wasn't in pain etc. at the time.

The refusal to get formula shows him in a very unpleasant light.

Why does my level of cynicism over a thread, that has followed a particular familiar pattern of drip feeding got anything to do with how much I would help someone (presumably someone I know, I would find it odd if you tracked down my number and called me late at night to bring you paracetamol) if they needed me to. I personally would not have asked for help in this situation. I didn't once say I wouldn't help if someone asked me.

given that all she wanted was paracetamol, which even the NHS website says is pretty ineffective for period pain

And yet, it is for me. Really. And I get really bad pain. But the NHS probably knows me best.

She rang him twice in 3 years when out with friends. When their son was in A&E and once for painkillers.

Definitely a selfish, controlling woman who doesn't want her husband to spend any time with his friends.

Maybe he only went out twice in 3 years, the poor bloke.

I think it's pretty normal to go years and years without disaster striking when your husband or wife is out with their friends.

I just wouldn't call for paracetamol, I'd be embarrassed. Equally, I'd be embarrassed for anyone who had their husband/wife call them while out for something relatively trivial like this, I'd be tempted to lie and make it more extreme e.g. the sudden need for a prescription to avoid looking like things are a complete shit show at home.

If it were a case of a sick child or something, it would be just a normal part of family life.

Yeah you need to go through life feeling less embarrassed. That's your issue ,nothing to do with OP.