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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH is refusing to buy me medicine

551 replies

bloodyperiod1 · 01/01/2020 22:13

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate? Sad

OP posts:
QuestionableMouse · 03/01/2020 03:01

This thread is fucking horrible.

I've never seen such a awful abusive pile on like this.

All of you bitching at the op need to try being more kind.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2020 03:14

Hearhoovesthinkzebras
What do you expect the wives to.do? Ban their husbands from seeing him? Ground their.husbands or say they can't go.out to.play? Ridiculous. How is it any of their business?

[eyeroll]
Do women 'ban' their husbands from 'going out to play'?
Or 'ground' them?
Are women Big Bad Mummy to you?

It's always a good idea for women to let other women know how things are going in their relationships, to see what other women think, to hear some feedback, maybe to be offered a shoulder to cry on or a nice cuppa, or the offer of a nighttime trip to the corner shop if they were in a bind. Sisterhood is a positive thing. Hence this forum.

In this case, it might be interesting to see what might happen, what might be said, if a few of the mates' GFs, wives or partners revealed the Fuck You treatment this man saw fit to give his wife while sitting comfortably in a mate's living room enjoying himself while someone else took care of his children, someone who presumably cooked his dinner for him last night and washes the skidmarks off his tighty whiteys for him twice a week.

Maybe I am a giddy optimist, but I like to think at least a few of this man's mates would think less of the husband if they knew this about him.

Tell me I'm not deluded about men in general, Hearhoovesthinkzebras.

mysmidgey · 03/01/2020 03:20

This thread just proves you can't fix stupid.

glasgow357 · 03/01/2020 03:29

Who doesn't have basic medication at home when they KNOW they will be expecting it?! It sounds like you want him home from his friends.

pallisers · 03/01/2020 03:58

Who doesn't have basic medication at home when they KNOW they will be expecting it?! It sounds like you want him home from his friends.

I'd say that considering in the past he refused to go out and get formula for his baby, the OP was well aware that this strategy wouldn't be a winner.

But you are right. The entire point of this thread and the lesson we all should learn isn't marry a kind person who gives a shit about you. it is:

Fucking stock up on painkillers if you have period pain because you are on your own bitch.

Creepster · 03/01/2020 04:20

I was wondering who the heck keeps pain meds on hand all the time?

OneDay10 · 03/01/2020 04:39

Cant imagine not helping my dh out it there was a way I could, especially if I was 2min away. Yanbu at all, hes very selfish.

HoppingPavlova · 03/01/2020 05:18

But it just wouldn’t go away, I couldn’t sleep and felt like I was in labour! So I called DH, thinking he’s only 10 mins away if you walk there, but the friends house is literally 2 mins away if you’re driving. I didn’t think it was a big deal, I tried to manage it on my own but it became unbearable I couldn’t sleep.

I can’t imagine any otc paracetamol doing anything for the pain you describe. It’s not that sort of drug, it wouldn’t touch the edges.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2020 05:21

glasgow357 Fri 03-Jan-20 03:29:49

Who doesn't have basic medication at home when they KNOW they will be expecting it?! It sounds like you want him home from his friends

A cunning plan, eh?

Watched a little too much Blackadder back in the day?

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 03/01/2020 05:33

If you need your DH to do it then he should and he is awful for not helping. Selfish and childish.

I was wondering who the heck keeps pain meds on hand all the time?

Who the hell doesn’t? As OP has discovered, pain can be unpredictable so why wait until you are in pain before trying to get some?

Walkaround · 03/01/2020 06:02

Creepster - I actually find your question really odd. Why the hell wouldn’t you want to have paracetamol to hand, along with plasters and a basic first aid kit, just in case? You never know when you might need it, as proved by the OP. It’s bloody stupid not to - hence people thinking the OP should not have needed to call on her useless dh for help in the first place if all she needed was paracetamol. Paracetamol has a long shelf life and is v v cheap. If you don’t believe in taking the stuff, then you wouldn’t be calling anyone to get some for you, so she is obviously not anti the concept of using it from time to time. Also, I note she has Calpol to hand, so is not lacking in awareness that availability of pain relief is sensible.

Walkaround · 03/01/2020 06:11

Anyway, I hope the OP’s pain has gone, now, and if not that she has sought medical help, given that agonising cramps a week before a period are not really normal (could she actually be pregnant?). And yes, her dh is a mean git.At least he’s not a drinker, though, if he can hang around his mate’s house til 1.30am and then drive home.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 07:12

mathanxiety

I would find it odd in the extreme if my husband's friend's wife contacted me to tell me that her husband wouldn't go and get me some paracetamol. If I really wanted to moan I would speak to one of my friends.

Same as if one of my friends husband's calked me to complain about his wife isn't it? Should I sympathise with him and have a go at his wife for doing whatever he was upset about?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 07:17

Presumably all of the people who choose not to have basic first aid supplies at home are the ones who present to a and E for treatment of things that could easily be dealt with at home.

If u don't have things like OTC pain killers at home what do you do if you get a headache or toothache at midnight on Christmas Eve?

My son had febrile convulsions as a child. We always had a stock of Calpol and nurofen at home in case he woke at 2am with a high temperature. It's just common sense to have this stuff in stock isn't it?

BusterGonad · 03/01/2020 07:30

I've got yo be honest and say I'm baffled at the lack of pain relief in the house, to me is a necessity just like bread and milk, BUT your husband is a bit of shit by the sounds of present and past behavior.

53rdWay · 03/01/2020 07:43

You never run out of bread or milk either? Never ever ever?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 07:52

Well, I don't, no. Bread in the freezer and long life milk in the cupboard for emergencies. Even so, running out of milk or bread isn't as problematic as running out of medicine is it? If this were a thread about an op running out of milk and ringing her DH asking him to leave a night out to buy some milk or bread I doubt anyone would think he was wrong for saying no.

Why isn't it just basic adulting to have stocks of essential items at home, just in case?

EntropyRising · 03/01/2020 08:01

Paracetamol? No. If I needed something like a prescription, yes, I would interrupt a night out, but not for paracetamol.

EntropyRising · 03/01/2020 08:02

This reply has been deleted

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Goatinthegarden · 03/01/2020 08:10

@Creepster
I was wondering who the heck keeps pain meds on hand all the time?

Why is it weird to keep pain meds on hand?! I have them in a kitchen cupboard, bedside drawer, and every handbag I own. My workplace is not near any shops, and as it’s a school, we often can’t leave on a whim to get supplies. I’ve helped out a number of desperate colleagues with splitting headaches using my handbag stashes...

OP, the formula milk update is troubling. I wouldn’t think much of a man who couldn’t just pop to the shops to help his infant son’s distress. Maybe the two of you need to discuss how you both think a partnership should work.

PlatoAteMySnozcumber · 03/01/2020 08:11

In all honesty, as much as I think the husband is mean as the pp above says, if I was out with a friend who had to run home to get paracetamol for their partner I would definitely be a little astounded.

Rottnest · 03/01/2020 08:12

this must be one of the saddest threads I have ever read. Women (presume) ganging up, judging another woman in pain, with no medication available, since she forgot to restock over the Xmas period.
Judged to be dramatic and unreasonable. How dare she inconvenience Her partner.
You all know who you are.
@pallisers, @AllTheWhoresOfMalta, and a few more, you sound like good caring people. Long may you continue to be so.
I've read almost all the posts, but don't want to read anymore, from those who have obviously had an empathy Bypass.
What a miserable bunch.

EntropyRising · 03/01/2020 08:40

this must be one of the saddest threads I have ever read. Women (presume) ganging up, judging another woman in pain, with no medication available, since she forgot to restock over the Xmas period.

I think this is a good illustration of how unbalanced MN can be where men are concerned.

If a woman were on a night out with her friends and her partner called to ask her to bring home paracetamol to relieve a regularly occurring condition, I think people would probably question whether he is controlling/manipulative man child who couldn't organise himself out of a paper bag.

Biancadelrioisback · 03/01/2020 08:41

Did OP say she doesn't normally take pain relief for her cramps? Therefore how could she predict that this time she would need it?

Lweji · 03/01/2020 08:47

Woman goes to friend's house, almost around the corner, is asked by partner to grab a beer from the shop - he's unreasonable

Woman goes to friend's house, almost around the corner, is asked by partner to get pain medicine from the shop like the last 4 times she was there - he's unreasonable

Woman goes to friend's house, almost around the corner, is asked by partner to grab pain medicine from the shop, on a one off he was caught out - annoying for her but he is reasonable

If we're going to make up scenarios, if the man took regular medicine and was caught short, there would be some pps blaming the woman for this. Wink

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