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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH is refusing to buy me medicine

551 replies

bloodyperiod1 · 01/01/2020 22:13

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate? Sad

OP posts:
Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 02/01/2020 23:44

The point is that you need to be prepared or else.put up with it. Weve just come.out of a series of bank.holudays where shops haven't been open as usual. Surely it's normal to stock up with essential items like this?

How far would all of you go with this? If the DH had been at home babysitting and developed a headache would op have been expected to leave what she was doing and deliver him some paracetamol?.what if she'd been at work? I do.just find it weird that you don't keep stick to.hand for medicine that you take regularly. I've had to add up all of my tablets to.make sure that I had enough to.last over Xmas and then this week. That's my responsibility because it's my.medication. I wouldn't be blaming my DH or making it his problem if I had forgotten to do.it or run out for some reason.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 23:47

In all honesty, given that the OP does not normally get pain quite like this and it’s a week before her period is even due to start, I don’t know why she thinks it’s period cramps.

53rdWay · 02/01/2020 23:51

How far would all of you go with this? If the DH had been at home babysitting and developed a headache would op have been expected to leave what she was doing and deliver him some paracetamol?

If it was me - assuming he’d be ‘babysitting’ his own children that were mine as well, and he texted me to say “have really bad headache, can’t sleep with the pain, no paracetamol in house but can’t get out to the corner shop as kids asleep” and I was two minutes away from said shop, yes of course I’d go and get some. I suppose it’s not illegal to say “no I can’t be bothered, you should learn a valuable lesson about preparation from this experience” but it’d be a fairly shit thing to do.

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 23:51

And yes, given that you never know when you will need paracetamol, it is remiss not to have any in the house just in case. Also remiss not to own a hot water bottle. Grin

Walkaround · 02/01/2020 23:53

Still, if you don’t have paracetamol or a hot water bottle, it’s not unreasonable to hope someone who loves you might be willing to help out.

PanicAndRun · 02/01/2020 23:56

Especially when they can get it done and dusted in 10 mins. She wasn't in the Gobi desert, he wasn't up on mountain rescuing lost kittens and babies. He was with a mate, 2 mins away from the shop.

pallisers · 03/01/2020 00:02

if the DH had been at home babysitting and developed a headache would op have been expected to leave what she was doing and deliver him some paracetamol?

well if I was 2 mins up the road at my friend's house and my dh called me saying he had a bad headache, of course I would take 10 mins to drop him off some painkillers. I'd probably go back to my friend's afterwards though. People spend longer than 10 minutes in the toilet so it isn't exactly ruining an evening to pop out is it?

I sometimes wonder how these marriages work on a day to day level. You are in pain and you ask your husband to take 10 minutes from his night out to get your painkillers and he refuses so you stay in pain. He comes home that night and ... like what? He says how was your night? she says Hi love did you have a nice time with Brian? I doubt it. It is little unkindnesses like this that erode a marriage.

But good to know if they finally split there are loads of women out there who think the OP's partner is a prince among men.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 00:11

Where's the 10 mins coming from?

In the op it says DH is at friends house 10mins from op. So, 10 mins from friends house to op to deliver paracetamol and then 10.mins back to friend is 20 mins straight away, then time to get to shop.and buy.paracetamol. so.not 10.mins at all.

Lweji · 03/01/2020 00:48

2 min drive. It's in the OP

pallisers · 03/01/2020 00:53

yeah 2 minutes drive away clearly stated in the OP. So many people seem to have missed that and thought getting painkillers to your partner in pain would mean leaving the party of the century (no, just at a mate's for an evening) for 12 hours (no could leave and get back there in 15 minutes tops if he wanted)

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 00:56

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away,

corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here.

This is the op.

Friend is 10.mins away from op. Shop.is.down the road from op.

So that is 10 mins from op isn't it? So 10 mins to shop, park, go.in buy paracetamol, bring it to op and then 10 mins back again.

How does that add up to 2 mins or 10 mins?

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 00:58

yeah 2 minutes drive away clearly stated in the OP. So many people seem to have missed that

So what does this mean then?

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away,

The opening sentence.of the op.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2020 01:05

At most he is set to miss half an hour of his precious time with his mate.

This is too much time to give up to get something to make his wife's night comfortable?

PanicAndRun · 03/01/2020 01:09

2 mins in the car, friend 10 mins away by foot.

Does it really matter? He didn't get any at all.
He sulked and didn't talk to his wife for a day because she gave the baby a bottle,that she had to go buy herself because he wouldn't.

Does it really fucking matter if it's 2 mins, 10 mins or an hour?

mathanxiety · 03/01/2020 01:10

I'm a lone parent, so what do I do? Rely on myself. Take dc out of bed or order. That's life.

That's life for a single parent. I am well aware of this reality myself, btw.

When you are married or have a partner, life includes being able to call on someone else do do you the sort of favour the OP asked her husband to do with a completely reasonable expectation that the OH will not be the selfish dick the OH in this case is.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 01:11

I really don't know. If it were me I wouldn't ask someone to inconvenience themselves just to get me some.paracetamol.

If I had to do it then I wouldnt.be going back to my friends house because thats too.much faffing about. It's something that was so easily avoidable with a bit of forward planning so i.wouldnt.ask.my DH.to.interrupt his evening just to.bring me some paracetamol, which is about as much use as a chocolate teapot.

mathanxiety · 03/01/2020 01:18

So I called DH, thinking he’s only 10 mins away if you walk there, but the friends house is literally 2 mins away if you’re driving.

Scratch what I said about half an hour max.

He was 2 minutes by car from the house. The shop is at the corner.

It was 10 measly minutes away from his precious mates, at most.

@bloodyperiod1 I would honestly be considering marriage counseling, in light of your account about the formula and last night's performance. Or having a chat with the wives or partners of the mates he chose to spend time with over the favour you asked, just so they know what sort of gent their OH's are associating with.

It's one thing to urge you to keep on trying when something is physically difficult for you - not a bit nice, but it only affects you. It's another thing entirely to see a helpless baby not being fed when he needs a feeding and point blank refusing to go and get what he needs.

Have you talked about his selfishness with anyone else in RL?

What you have said here is very worrying.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 01:48

So why would op.write in her opening post that he's at a friend's house, 10 minutes away? What was the point in saying that if it wasn't the case? Why not say he's 2 minutes away? What relevance does the 10.minutes have?

I still can't work.out why it's become his.problemnto.solve.

Hearhoovesthinkzebras · 03/01/2020 01:51

Or having a chat with the wives or partners of the mates he chose to spend time with over the favour you asked, just so they know what sort of gent their OH's are associating with.
What do you expect the wives to.do? Ban their husbands from seeing him? Ground their.husbands or say they can't go.out to.play? Ridiculous. How is it any of their business?

theflushedzebra · 03/01/2020 01:54

10 mins walk, 2 mins drive, fellow-zebras.

He had the car, according to the OP.

NameChangeNugget · 03/01/2020 02:09

I’d not dream of disturbing DH from paracetamol if he was out. YABVU

Toddlerteaplease · 03/01/2020 02:17

YABU. You know this is an issue. You should have been better prepared.

Creepster · 03/01/2020 02:20

The idea that a woman stuck at home with the kids while H is out to friends with the car is unreasonable for asking him to get her something for the pain before the shops close is astonishing to me.

PanicAndRun · 03/01/2020 02:24

Oh no the poor penis haver. You can't possibly disturb the penis haver.Hmm His penis might fall off.

"Hey love can you grab me some painkillers please? The kids are asleep and I'm in really bad pain. Struggling to go to sleep"

Disturb my arse.

theflushedzebra · 03/01/2020 02:33

Can't. Disturb. Man. On. Night. Out.

You. Bloody. Nag.

Jeez. People are defending a man who wouldn't even go out for milk for his own baby! Unbelievable.

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