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AIBU?

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Original poster

DH is refusing to buy me medicine

551 replies

bloodyperiod1 · 01/01/2020 22:13

DH (as in dickhead right now) is at a mates house 10 mins away, and has refused to buy me paracetamol for my cramps, my period is due next week and I always get these awful cramps before my period. It hurts, I can’t sleep. Kids in bed, corner shop down the road from me and he says I should wait til he gets home, and he doesn’t know when he’s leaving. Shop is closing 11pm. He’s got a car and it will literally take him 2mins to come here. AIBU to think he’s being inconsiderate? Sad

OP posts:
goatbame · 02/01/2020 10:43

*lemsip

GiveHerHellFromUs · 02/01/2020 10:44

I'm glad I'm married to someone that actually likes me enough to want to relive my pain

Bloody hell, if he's willing to relive your pain that must be real love Wink

goatbame · 02/01/2020 10:46

@PlanDeRaccordement my period pains absolutely get too bad to even consider walking to a shop. I can hardly move from the toilet because they also make me vomit they hurt so much. The thought of waking up and dressing my kids and walking to a shop is making me laugh out loud!

goatbame · 02/01/2020 10:46

@GiveHerHellFromUs Grinoops.

RiftGibbon · 02/01/2020 10:52

Like some others I am shocked at some of the attitudes on here. Lots of projection, assumption and selfishness.
Perhaps OP doesn't have a regular cycle.
Perhaps OP thought that she had paracetamol in, and then discovered they'd run out
Perhaps OP thought, as her DP was only 2 mins drive away, he could pop to the shop and back?
Last week we ran out of both paracetamol and ibuprofen. I thought we had some, but DH had used it up for headaches & something viral. He was in pain with the virus a few days ago and shivering, so I popped to the shop to get some more for him.

greenlavender · 02/01/2020 10:53

I don't understand why you don't keep a stock either

RainbowAlicorn · 02/01/2020 10:57

Some of the responses on here. It is possible to think you have painkillers in and then when you go to take one find you have run out. The OP said he was at a friends house, not on a night out, it would be easy for him to pop to the shop, pop home and then go back to his friends house to enjoy the rest of his time with his friend and stroll back in when he feels like it. The OP can't as she has kids in bed and can't leave them. Also the OP stated that without the pain relief she can't sleep because of the pain, if he would just take her the pain relief he could happily enjoy the rest of his night no problem and so could the OP. It isn't that easy to 'stock up' on painkillers not in 1 trip anyway.
Oh and just because you have the same symptoms everytime you are due on doesn't mean you have them at the same time every damn month, not everybody is that regular.

OP I would suggest from now on you buy 2 packs when ever you go to the shop or on a weekly basis to make sure this never happens again, but still think your 'D'H was an ass.

Wellmet · 02/01/2020 10:59

This is the most Mumsnet thread I have ever read Grin
Look, leaving immediately to get the painkillers would have been a nice thing to do, but I think saying he'd get them on the way back doesn't actually qualify him for bastard of the year.
He hasn't refused, has he? He just isn't rushing.
Well, it's the next day now, so no doubt the op has got her ducks in a row and gone to stay with her sister by this point.

PlanDeRaccordement · 02/01/2020 11:00

I can hardly move from the toilet because they also make me vomit they hurt so much.

Well in your case you would not need any paracetamol because you’d vomit it right back up. That’s not the case of the OP.

PanicAndRun · 02/01/2020 11:02

If you read Plan's posts on FWR board her reply on here becomes clear and predictable.

Lweji · 02/01/2020 11:05

He hasn't refused, has he? He just isn't rushing.
The OP was concerned he'd miss the nearby shop still open.

Well, it's the next day now, so no doubt the op has got her ducks in a row and gone to stay with her sister by this point.
I think you mean gone for a spa day. With the ducks too, who'd love it, I bet. Wink

userxx · 02/01/2020 11:06

@Wellmet :)

SandyY2K · 02/01/2020 11:07

@ahenderson270

The pp who asked why he's even visiting friends was talking pure and utter nonsense.

How ridiculous is it to suggest he doesn't have to see or visit friends...why not go the whole way and say he shouldn't have friends at all.

I would question the faculties of anyone who thinks this comment is even remotely sensible.

Why does he even have to see or visit friends? Single parents don't have babysitters and hardly have a social life.

happycamper11 · 02/01/2020 11:12

happycamper11 games outrank pain in your hierarchy of needs? Okay...

Well I would just consider that I could be spoiling everyone's evening because I'd been disorganised. Nothing to do with it being a man as another poster implied. If I was babysitting for a friend or my sister I wouldn't summon them home because I have cramps and had forgotten my painkillers either.

Lweji · 02/01/2020 11:12

I would question the faculties of anyone who thinks this comment is even remotely sensible.

That was my point, it wasn't supposed to be sensible. Wink Apparently single people and lone parents have to plan ahead because they have nobody else. Conversely, if he was a single parent, he wouldn't be able to leave the children alone and visit friends, could he? Like the OP couldn't leave the house herself to get her own medicine because she was taking care of his children, thus allowing him to visit friends.
I'd think that if you are in a couple, you can rely on each other in many aspects.

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou · 02/01/2020 11:12

Picture the scene. You’ve invited your closest friends for a lovely evening. You’ve prepared a delicious meal, gone to a lot of trouble. Then, just as you’ve put the food on the table, your friend tells you she’s off to get some paracetamol for her husband and will be back when the meal has gone cold. I can imagine the MN post about that one!

ClarencesMum · 02/01/2020 11:14

A lot of you need to raise your expectations.

Lweji · 02/01/2020 11:15

Picture the scene. You’ve invited your closest friends for a lovely evening. You’ve prepared a delicious meal, gone to a lot of trouble. Then, just as you’ve put the food on the table, your friend tells you she’s off to get some paracetamol for her husband and will be back when the meal has gone cold.

I'd give them some of my stock to take to their partner. Perhaps so that he could stay until the end of dinner, instead of rushing because the shop would be close soon.

Although, it's not likely that the OP's husband was just about to get dinner at past 22:00.

YappityYapYap · 02/01/2020 11:16

Hi OP. Did you manage to sleep last night? I really hope you go and see the GP. Painful cramps aren't something you should just put up with. I know how horrible they can be and how for about 3-4 days every month I was miserable and in so much pain that I found it hard to focus on anything. I do think the responses are split with people that sympathise due to knowing how you feel and the others less sympathetic due to not knowing a life with terrible cramps or just being void of empathy

MrsMillerbecameababy · 02/01/2020 11:18

BuggerOffAndGoodDayToYou we could picture lots of scenes, but have no reason whatsoever to think your scene is the one that happened, especially given it was after 10pm.

goatbame · 02/01/2020 11:19

No I think some people's bar is set so incredibly low.

PanicAndRun · 02/01/2020 11:26

I think some of the nastier comments come from posters that are either too selfish to ever react to anything (bar emergencies Hmm) or with seriously low standards.

ahenderson270 · 02/01/2020 11:28

@SandyY2K but ..but..but nothing I've said has remotely been about his allowances for friends and down time .. I've merely pointed out the absolute insanity of the speculation that she's doing this deliberately or she's functioning with an IQ of a gnat because she hasn't got a stock pile of paracetamol lol!!

And I'll admit you and I can agree that the posters who feel he's the worlds worst husband for having a social life are just as nutty as those people who have cast all sorts of assumptions about the OP based purely on speculation and their own massively over active imaginations.. step away from the soaps folks and chill out!!!

Original poster
bloodyperiod1 · 02/01/2020 11:35

He got home about 1.30am, and without painkillersHmm when I say I always get cramps before my period, I mean those odd sharp pains you get here and there. They last seconds, and are bit painful but manageable. I’ve never taken any painkillers for it. Last night was different, I just put the kids to bed and sat down to watch telly. I got the cramps, but didn’t think much of it. So I made myself a cuppa, and went to bed. I thought if I lied down, it would help. But it just wouldn’t go away, I couldn’t sleep and felt like I was in labour! So I called DH, thinking he’s only 10 mins away if you walk there, but the friends house is literally 2 mins away if you’re driving. I didn’t think it was a big deal, I tried to manage it on my own but it became unbearable I couldn’t sleep.

I’ve rarely call him for anything when he’s out or with his mates, last time that happened was 3 years ago when DS had an accident and we had to go to A&E.

Honestly I would have done this for him, a friend or family member. He’s always been abit selfish.

He also once refused to buy DS formula milk.
I remember when DS was a baby, I was breastfeeding him, but I was struggling so one night DS wouldn’t settle. I begged DH to go out and buy formula, he refused and told me to ‘ keep trying’. It was in the middle of the night, no shops open and nearest petrol station was 10 mins away So I expressed as much milk as I could, DS finally fell asleep and I got out the next morning to buy formula milk as soon as the shops opened. I remember the look on his face when he woke up and I was in the kitchen making DS a bottle. He didn’t speak to me for the rest of the day.

OP posts:
Original poster
bloodyperiod1 · 02/01/2020 11:38

I managed to fall asleep last night somehow, and woke up today a bit sore

OP posts:
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