Eating only until tummy is full bollocks

[pjmask]

It's all gone too far. Lunch with dsis, bil and their kids in a local restaurant. Their DC order meals that are clearly going to be far too much just from the description. Before they have even started dsis is reminding them they don't have to eat all of it, or even any of it, just until their tummy tells them they are full.

They eat a very small amount of the most unhealthy, nutritionally void part of the meal then announce they are full. Fine. Then they order puddings five minutes later. I will not let my dc order puddings as they have also not finished their meals parroting "tummy says no" nonsense. I suggest we pop to the supermarket on the way home and get ice cream to enjoy later when tummy is not so full instead of wasting money and food buying puddings for four full children. Get told by bil in a rather patronising way that "in our house we choose not to battle over food"

A. What a total dick he is
B. Telling a child who is full to wait a couple of hours before pudding is not having a "battle" over food
C. They are sadly not the only people I've encountered recently who have over-embraced this mantra. For the record my eldest is 22 and I've never been a "clear your plate" sort of parent. The days of great aunt gertie holding your nose and forcing liver and onions in your mouth are hopefully gone! But there is a balance to be had surely, in teaching children not to overload their plates, over-order and simply to appreciate food (especially meat) and how easily available it is?

Aibu?

I love savoury. Hate to spoil a nice tasty main course with pudding.

Wonderful for you, do let us know where you want your medal sent. I, my toddler son and the vast majority of other people across the globe like both sweet and savoury foods.

Of course you understand it- it tastes nice.

You're just pretending you don't to look good. Nothing to do with different tastes or attitudes.

If you genuinely don't understand, possibly a bit of reading about human evolution and more recent food history might be in order? Not understanding something is not something to be proud of.

Why not accept other people have different attitudes and tastes?
The irony is strong on this one, it is.

Bore off @LisaSimpsonsbff. I don’t. What makes your opinion more important than mine?

When we’re out we let DD eat what she wants and eat much healthier things at home. Sometimes she won’t eat her savoury food but I’ll happily let her eat fruit for dessert.

You are way too over involved in their parenting. I agree that it’s not worth making food a big issue provided the kids diet is well rounded the majority of the time.

Not understanding something is not something to be proud of.

I would like a t shirt with this on it please.

This reminds me of my BIL who will be heard at family meals out to say to 5 year old ‘come on, just one more chip and then you can have ice cream’.

That's hugely wasteful, I would not have ordered desert for someone that had left so much of a main meal. I don't think it's getting across the message BIL is intending.

Gosh this thread just reasures me Im glad I dont have rules around eating everything in your plate or pudding as a reward!

I dont like the "in our house we... " terminology, but I do know circles that use it (home ed types) mainly to stop saying its something everyone should do but that they're aware their rules are different to other rules. So when their kids say, "in so and sos hlise they get to watch tv all day," the reply to the kids is, "in our house we.."

It's not a terminology I like but it is a "thing" I've come across.

'If you don't eat your Wotsits, you can't have your Crunchie', Jumpi.

I'd let your in-laws off.

I'd also let him pay for what they ordered.

Their choice, their bil

Ordering huge portions of food for children that wouldn't dream of eating it, is wasteful.

Seperate bills, thanks👍

@LisaSimpsonsbff - my daughter chose not to copy my parenting because she is a superior being to me. She thinks everyone else on this earth was put there to be subservient to her, me especially. I know nothing about raising children, according to her.

And before you ask, she wasn't like that as a child, only as a teen when her DF told her so and spent quite a bit of time undermining me as a parent and damaging my relationship with her beyond repair.

if you don’t eat much don’t think you’re getting fruit or yogurt.

Fruit and yogurt are nourishing foods.
They should be considered part of the meal which the kids can eat, or not, the same as the rest of it.

No way would I have split the bill.

Exactly My Majesty. Its baffling.

The irony is strong on this one, it is.

Is it? Because I didn’t say I don’t understand why people like sweet food - I said I don’t understand why people glamorise shit food as rewards and treats.

With 62% of the U.K. population overweight or obese - it’s problematic.

No, it's because you said Why not accept other people have different attitudes and tastes?
as quoted.

Nothing wrong with a sweet treat but I don't really get the idea of it being 'the highlight of a meal out'. Surely the main is the highlight? If you just want a sweet why not go to a nice café for coffee and cake rather than a restaurant?

For me as a child, and for my own children, the 'treat' of a restaurant outing was being a 'grown up', choosing from the menu, being served in the same way as the adults, being able to choose something we didn't get at home (which in my childhood included pasta dishes for example). Puddings rarely featured at all.

Mostly though I am shocked at the brother in law ridiculous 'tummy is full' language to 7 and 9 year olds. Such tweeness may be appropriate when dealing with toddlers but at 7 and 9 I'd expect children to cringe in embarrassment at it.

I can see your point but I still think YABU - a bit.

Food is a huge battle ground for some kids. I have a friend who, if she can get her kid to eat half a dozen chips and a petit filou is having a good day. Let the parents decide what is appropriate.

For the record, I often let my kid have pudding even if he hasn't cleared his plate. He has to have eaten what I deem to be a reasonable amount and he has to have tried a little bit of everything on his plate - veg included. If that makes me a bad mother - shoot me.

It would have annoyed and revolted me too. I hate food waste, and would have ordered smaller quantities in the first place - half portions, or one portion and an extra plate.

@makingmammaries same. Can always order more if anyone is still hungry.

@LittleCandle Wow, your contempt for your daughter just shines through. No wonder she's not a big fan of yours.

@Lweji

Again, I have never disputed that people have different attitudes and tastes when it comes to food - but that’s a separate issue from glamorising shit food as a reward.

@WatchingTheMoon - when you know all the ins and outs of our relationship, then you can judge me.