To think life is shite

[Bulbousbob]

And the daily grind until the day I die just isn’t worth it, I appreciate there may be some things in my life to be thankful for. For example I’m in reasonably good physical health. I’m not destitute. But for the love of god. My entire life has been a grind. No love in any form since the day I was born. No parents. No extended family. I’d love to be convinced I’m being unreasonable. I want to be positive but it feels futile. Im already journaling, daily affirmations, generally trying my best to be positive.

I think telling yourself to be positive is like telling a cut to stop bleeding. You've had a very rough time - let yourself feel sad, angry, envious, all of it! Counselling has helped me a lot.

Thanks summer. I’m sick of trying to reason with myself. Life does not get better. The reality is, I want someone to come along and take some of the slack. Single for nearly two decades. No family. Friends who don’t really want to be with me. No wonder. Miserable cow. Nothing positive to add. I’m just fucking sick of it. Enough! I’ve had it. No option but to accept my lot and just carry on with the misery. I do have little pops of positivity and hope that something just might turn up.

Decide to change something that may lead to other things. For instance, take up an activity/ volunteering/ hobby that brings you into contact with a wider group of people that meets regularly- eg singles group/walking group/fitness group/night class etc
See where it leads.
Nobody has to 'accept their lot' .

Tried it fucking all. Walking groups for over a year. Dancing. Pottery, book clubs. Moved cities. Moved small towns. Tried the whole kit and flipping cabbudle. Sick to death of trying and getting nowhere. I’m nearly 50. I’ve just had it. Tried hard for years. Every single day trying and pushing myself to be positive. I will obviously still try and pretend to the world that it’s not so bad. That there’s hope. But inside knowing there’s no such thing. It’s a joke. If I was braver I’d take a shit load of pills. Go to sleep and not wake up. But, I still have a smidgen has of hope. What happens if the hope finally expires. I bore myself with my negativity. Feel free to ignore me.

I'm not sure what to suggest but for you OP.

Thanks blue. 😘

I do love flowers. Treated myself to some today. Surely cheered me up.

Oh OP. I do empathise.

Sorry you feel your life is so shit at the moment. New Year is definitely a time for reflection too and it can be particularly hard when we are down.
You say you have joined groups, moved areas etc. Is this with the hope of making friends/finding a partner or just searching for something missing in your life?

It's a bit hard to decide which way to vote, because one one hand, it could be argued that you're being unreasonable, and there are many ways to help yourself, medication, therapy etc, but on the other hand, it sounds like you've had a shit time and you've tried many things.

Hold onto that little glimmer of hope, things may change...

I’m so sorry for your suffering. You sound like one of those incredible people who just keeps picking themselves up and plugging on despite all the knock backs. I wish I could make things easier for you. You sound amazing and I hope you feel that way soon.

I hope things get better for you in this next decade bulbousbob. There is always hope.
Maybe you could work/ volounteer with homeless people or other disadvantaged groups and see how you could improve other people’s lifestyle. Then you may feel more positive as you are making a significant improvement in other people’s lives.

I’m holding on folks. It’s an uphill struggle most days but I’m trying. I’ve honestly tried everything including years of therapy and medication. Maybe I need the medication again but I also think what’s the point if I’m just living by being medicated. What life is that shit.

Sorry, my earlier post seems a bit condescending, however I didn’t mean it like that

I don’t think you’re unreasonable - I feel much the same myself on occasions...But happy new year and I will keep my fingers and toes crossed for us and whoever else is a serial (but disappointed) trier 🤪🌸🌸

have I missed something here... what actually is the problem?

Don’t hate me folks but spent most of my working life supporting the vulnerable. I got sick of it and thought I’d try doing something less altruistic. I’m still in the caring profession. Just a bit more strategic. Doesn’t massively help. I was always hopeful and saw positives but the past couple of years have been truly depressing and hopeless. I hate myself for feeling this way but cannot for the life of me catch a break. I know others are worse off. I wish that would make me more thankful.

secondary trauma... carer fatigue... its a fucker when you work with vulnerable people.

Cybergran the problem is the monotony of life. Trying every day to be positive. Attempting new hobbies, volunteering to help the less fortunate, being hopeful, writing and relaxing positive affirmations. In reality all I want is love, companionship and connection. Can’t seem to find it no matter how hard I try. Don’t seem to have it on me. Sad but true. I’m just cut off from it.

get a job at Tesco... and get a dog; dogs are much better than friends cos they never let you down.

as for no family... many people would envy you that. family's are a pain in the arse sometimes.

stop trying to be happy... aim for content.

Is there anything that gives you joy? Is so grab onto it and run. You said flowers cheer you up. Totally random but fuck it, why not retrain as a florist? Or do a horticulturalist course and learn how to breed (is that even a thing) strains of roses?

Career fatigue is a fact! Trying my best to find a new one. No success yet but I’m trying. Putting myself out there.

YANBU

we are posting out of sync.. oops...

yeah I hear you...

I think a good therapist would make a world of difference. Do you know what types of therapy you have had in the past?