To think life is shite

[Bulbousbob]

And the daily grind until the day I die just isn’t worth it, I appreciate there may be some things in my life to be thankful for. For example I’m in reasonably good physical health. I’m not destitute. But for the love of god. My entire life has been a grind. No love in any form since the day I was born. No parents. No extended family. I’d love to be convinced I’m being unreasonable. I want to be positive but it feels futile. Im already journaling, daily affirmations, generally trying my best to be positive.

Love your attitude cybergran. 😆 I’ve got a shit tonne of debt but I have a plan and I’m actively paying it off. Plans are afoot.

Viva would love therapy. Had years of good quality psychotherapy. Would love more but can’t afford it.

You guys have already improved my mood. I’m inspired already. A reminder of what I’ve achieved and how I’m continuing to help myself. I can’t tell you how much my treat of flowers has improved my mood. Cheap hit so pretty.

you are trying too hard...

wtf did you call yourself bulbousbob for btw..?

do something outrageously selfish or silly.. stop trying to fit it... stop looking for affirmation... stop trying to please others... stop trying to be positive... tell someone to fook off... (preferably not me) stop trying to be someone you aren't... stop trying to be something you think you should be... be yourself and like what you see..

cybergran talks huge sense. You're almost exhausting yourself with trying to reach Nirvana.

Could you get an animal? I know it sounds daft but dog love is so unconditional.

Feck knows where my username came from. I’m not particularly bulbous 😆. Cybergran you’ve been my voice of reason tonight. Thanks to every other rationale, reasonable and generally kind poster. Life might be slightly less shite knowing there’s decent folk in the world. Taking time out for miserable me. Thank you. I’m giving myself a break tonight. Thanks again,?

omg... another depressive... come on you lot... its the first day of the decade.... get a grip :-/

Keep moving towards the positive. When something makes you happy make a note of it and think about that moment more/do it more. Try and solve any problems that are dragging you down. If things get boring and stale you need to introduce something new into your life - a new job/hobby/friend/learning opportunity/book. Take pleasure in the small things. Exercise. Get enough sleep. Make your happiness your number one priority. Choose to be happy.

Life can be very shit, but it doesn't have to be.

DDIJ. Read the whole post. I hope you take something from it. We’ve done nowt bad. Life’s just shit at times. Then all these nice posts arrive and things feel better.

Feel your pain, OP, really sorry you have had it tough, I agree with pp getting a dog, they are life savers! I am similar age to you but feeling very out of sorts lately, out of sync with everyone around me, friends, family, etc. Gorgeous dog helping though!

I am with cybergran here. Stop trying. Do you like travelling? Little trips to look forward to? They don't have to be expensive. Byt just for you

bob... sorry I can't call you bulbous whether you are bulbous or not :-)

its ok to be miserable now and again... from what you say, it seems something shitty has happened in the past but you cannot let it define your whole life. whatever it is may have fooked up your past but its up to you to make sure it doesn't fook up your future. you can't change history but you can influence what happens to you from now on...

I don't know how old you are but one thing I can guarantee is that you are not getting younger... make today the first day of your life and LIVE IT.

don't buy flowers... GET YOURSELF AN ALLOTMENT.... own the world, its yours :-

I’m thinking I should get a dog. I’ll look into it tomorrow. Maybe a dog is what I need. I work from home so it’s doable. That might just be my new project.

Cybergran!! You are an inspiration. Thank you. I love your confidence and outlook. I’m going to bed a more positive woman. Thank you 🙏🏼

Your post made me so sad. Please seek help and advice. A dog is great but you need professional help first, I think. Please, take care.

Don’t hate me folks but spent most of my working life supporting the vulnerable

That's the issue I think. Unfortunately emotional demanding jobs can seriously drain you.
Is it at all possible to change your working environment so you spend less time supporting others and save that energy for your own welfare.

I think its fab doing a job like that but once it starts taking its toll on you you need to start putting yourself first or find support from someone to talk through it.

Get a dog. It's someone to share your life with, to care about. A dog makes you smile, laugh, play, love.

My ddog

OP - as you love flowers, how about gardening? I'd highly recommend it. Do you have a garden, or even just a balcony, where you could grow things?

I love growing things from seed and eating home grown produce is very satisfying. If you have no family or friends to teach you the basics, there are lots of gardening channels on Youtube.

I hope you meet the right person soon, but meanwhile gardening and/or getting a pet are both worth considering.

I wish I got a dog years ago. Good god the difference it makes!!!!@Bulbousbob

I spent Christmas Day on my own this year, first time in my life and I am mid 40s!!!
However. I’m really grumpy without my coffee first thing. So I load the machine the night before, get up being kissed and cuddled ( she actually puts her head on my shoulder and paw on my chest, proper hug!). I get up, shoes and coat on, press the coffee machine button and take the dog out for a wee. By the time she did her thing, my coffee is ready, we both go back to bed (she doesn't like food first thing, like me!).

We have the most amazing adventures and meet lots of people.
Do get a dog. It’s a life changer. Nobody has ever loved me like this dog does.

I think we all have times when you look at your life and think WTAF am I doing this all for...........

I worked in care, and massively burned out. It was thankless, exhausting and I gave too much of myself. Changing career was a massive game changer for me and now I feel on a much more even keel.

And I second the dog comments - I've got two, and they're my absolute world. Just having someone who is always so pleased to see you, loves you unconditionally and drags you out into the fresh air even when you can't be arsed is so good for your soul.

I hope life gets better for you soon

I could've written your post myself OP, I really feel for you and hope things make turn for you this year. So glad to hear you're considering a dog, mine is my absolute saviour and what keeps me going.

I'm really sorry to hear that, OP, but glad you've been cheered by this thread.

My tuppence worth:

1. It's January. It's cold and dark. We're meant to be in hibernation!

1. I read this today, maybe of interest? www.bbc.com/future/article/20181218-whats-the-quickest-way-to-happiness-do-nothing?fbclid=IwAR0BTYjFUdMqDiMiFbKyturApUtse86k2kgcs0-cD6jG6iDYqNOzM4Ttwy8

1. A dog sounds great. I'd get one if I didn't have an ungrateful, weird lovely cat already.

1. I also really like a good self help book now and again - have you read 'Finding your north star'? Lots of good strategies for helping one find direction, and best of all, I found it hilarious.

1. Life can be tough, for sure, we just about all suffer at one point or another, and some of us suffer far more than is fair. I think coming to peace with the presence of suffering can be more healing than trying to chase some idea of 'happiness'. There is much to enjoy and be thankful for; I think we notice the lovely bits more if we also allow ourselves to acknowledge the shitty bits - and feel the feelings they produce.

1. Have you tried writing or music or making art?

Wishing you all the very best this year.