My SIL and brother had some difficulty conceiving, I don’t know the full details as they never actually told the wider family about it and it was fed down from my parents. We never really knew if we were meant to know or not.
When I found out I was pregnant (planned) I waited until my 12 week scan and let my brother know first, by phone. I knew it would be difficult news and I didn’t want him to hear through the grapevine. From that point on my SIL cut me off, which meant my brother all but did too. SIL told my DH she couldn’t talk to me as I was pregnant, brother confirmed and they shut me off.
My DD is now 10 months old, my SIL is pregnant after a successful round of IVF. They still haven’t really spoken to me and have avoided family events that I’ve been at. I asked my brother if we could get along and he told me I ought to look to my own behaviour. I said I was asked not to speak to them as I was pregnant and respected that and his response was that I should have handled it differently. Brother asked what my issue was as they speak to the rest of the family, it’s just me. SIL has spent time with other friends and family with children.
I suspect SIL just doesn’t like me, she is quite competitive and liked me several years ago when I was establishing my career etc but now I’ve not caught her up so to speak and I think me getting pregnant first was the nail on the head.
She doesn’t acknowledge DD, although bought nice presents for Christmas. She still blanks us both.
Family very involved in their own pregnancy.
I’m sick of it now, I feel shunned in my parents house and incredibly anxious around them.
I know IVF must be awful and have supported friends and family through IVF and miscarriages but feel now I’ve been excluded purely owing to my ability to get pregnant.
I said to DH I think I’m done with it, it’s been 16 months and I can’t keep creeping around pretending DD doesn’t exist. I was always close to my brother growing up but we’ve not spoken since my pregnancy.