To take my 22year old dd to gp?

[SueDoeName]

My dd found a lump in her groin 18 months ago. She went to doctors and they said it was a swollen lymph node probably caused by infection.

She still has it 18 months later and it's got bigger.

She is always ill. Always got a cold or ulcers in her throat or throat infection. She loses weight despite eating really well. (More than me !)
She is always tired . Looks washed out . She is also anaemic . (Confirmed)
She's been back to the doctors twice - she is very sensible and grounded and has told me she's worried about lymphoma. The doctors dismissed her saying "google doesn't have a degree "
She is worried. I am now worried she has been referred for a scan but will take 4-6 weeks and then she has to await results before getting referred for biopsy.

I want to go to gp now with her and ask about a private referral and timescales. They aren't taking her seriously.

Aibu? I don't usually interfere but this seems like one time I need to. She needs someone a bit bolshy to fight her corner .

It's infuriating. Hope everything goes through quickly

Thanks all

If this referral gets rejected it's a&e next .

Butterer I know . She asked if he wanted her to remove her trousers and he said no even tho I was there as a chaperone. She said afterward she wasn't bothered removing her clothes because he is a doctor. It was ridiculous. He seemed uncomfortable, dd certainly wasn't.

Well done on getting the referral - let’s hope it’s not rejected.

He wouldn't even hear of us going private saying he would not help get a private referral for something available on the nhs !

It’s none of his business! Never heard of a GP refusing private referral, ever. But I do avoid male GPs of a certain age.

As you don’t have health insurance there’s no benefit to a GP’s referral to a private specialist - like I said you can make an appointment without a referral.

This sorry tale is a good reminder of why 30% of cancer in 13-24 year olds is diagnosed in A+E in the U.K.

Not that DD necessarily has it- there are other less serious issues that could be causing this.

My dd is 23. She likes me to go with her sometimes. Go with her, she's only young.

This sounds so similar to my symptoms. I spent my late teens early 20s very I'll and constantly fobbed off. It turned out I have acute crohn's disease. Please do take your dd, I wish my mum had

I'm keeping a very level head , as is dd but I know today has upset her .

I'm not a push over by any means but that was hard work.

The only diagnostic test is biopsy so I do not get the complete refusals to do it . This gp said something really stupid about the stats , I had to say and yet some people are actually diagnosed with lymphoma though eh ? It exists.

The practice manager has made dd an appointment with the senior health care practitioner tomorrow but dd is so fed up and Is ill again she's not
Keen to go , with or without me .

I've backed off for tonight. She is
Worried. She's going for the chest X-ray tomorrow and has had enough for today.

We've agreed it's A& E next port of
Call if the referral gets rejected.

What a condescending twat he is.

This reminds me of a recent thread where a woman was literally losing her hair! She had a rash that wash causing it. Her hair was just falling out and she was incredibly distressed.

Her GP called her hysterical shrugged his shoulders. And said nothing could be done for hair loss

OP why was her anaemia not treated or investigated previously?

I was ill as a child, had practically every test they could do but they refused to do a test because 'children don't get it', turns out children can get it and I had it. It took 10 years to get that diagnosis.

I'm sick of hearing these stats, it can and does happen.

I hope your daughter is OK OP and keep pushing for her.

If you can manage to persuade her to see the senior practitioner - I’d give it a go. But I can understand how dismal and disheartening the whole thing is for her.

Also - bear in mind you may get similar treatment in A+E - it’s a bit pot luck.

That's terrible, hope your daughter he's better treatment tomorrow

Op she may not want to go but if she doesn't then she will definitely not get better.

I have been to the gp with my ds 15 and they ask him questions and ignore me as if I'm not his mother.
Because they can easily make younger people uncomfortable and then they act as if they are not that unwell.
My ds has a huge issue with voicing his opinion or complaining to anyone else about feeling unwell.
I clearly told the doctor that ds vocally tells me what is wrong, and you are making him feel like he can not explain without you making noise and giving weak excuses.
I said are you going to refer him or not?.
Before I was down the stair leaving the doctor rang me back up offering medicine to go with the referral.
I was fuming but didn't lose my temper

Although you are her Mum, you are her medical advocate. Sometimes it is easier to let someone speak up for you.

Just came on to say, You are a fabulous mum and advocate for your daughter.

You are also being level headed and reasonable. The gps you have seen sound dismissive and obstinate.

Sending you because it’s tough, but I can see you are being strong. Well done and I’m sorry you are having to go through this xxx

Well done for sticking up for your DD Op. I can appreciate she's fed up but I do hope she sees the senior practitioner tomorrow and the referral comes through quickly. Good luck!

I would think you could contact PALS - the NHS liaison unit - and kick off a bit. It's not acceptable for a GP to decide not to refer to NHS or private either. Making a fuss seems very much the only way to get things done these days!

What would A&E do?

A&e - many cancers are eventually diagnosed there .. hopefully take us seriously at least .

Hopefully dd will feel better in the morning, and able to go. Or if not, maybe you can get the practitioner to ring dd or you (dd can easily pass the phone to you to discuss everything). At least then you can explain what you want, and get more referrals.

Would A&E stop after deciding if it was a hernia or not?

To be honest I don't think A&E will help, they may do bloods to see if sje has an infection, but highly doubt they'd admit her for an in patient biopsy unless she's acutely unwell.
Best bet is to get a GP to refer or go private. Good luck, I hope you get answers soon.

It's
Not a hernia. It's an enlarged lymph node . This we've been told .

How come so many cancers are diagnosed in a&e ? Blood wise told me to go to a&e next .

I will say this . My ds was misdiagnosed with meningitis 4 times and almost died because of one gps incompetent practice.

I aren't the same pushover 19 year old now and should this prove to be lymphoma I will document everything and sue the fuck out of this practice, I didn't when ds was misdiagnosed. I left it. 2 years recovery and the some. I lost my job because I was in hospital with him 8 weeks.