To take my 22year old dd to gp?

[SueDoeName]

My dd found a lump in her groin 18 months ago. She went to doctors and they said it was a swollen lymph node probably caused by infection.

She still has it 18 months later and it's got bigger.

She is always ill. Always got a cold or ulcers in her throat or throat infection. She loses weight despite eating really well. (More than me !)
She is always tired . Looks washed out . She is also anaemic . (Confirmed)
She's been back to the doctors twice - she is very sensible and grounded and has told me she's worried about lymphoma. The doctors dismissed her saying "google doesn't have a degree "
She is worried. I am now worried she has been referred for a scan but will take 4-6 weeks and then she has to await results before getting referred for biopsy.

I want to go to gp now with her and ask about a private referral and timescales. They aren't taking her seriously.

Aibu? I don't usually interfere but this seems like one time I need to. She needs someone a bit bolshy to fight her corner .

Go with her.

Even if it's nothing serious it's worrying her, and she needs her mind set at rest.

At best it's a persistent low grade infection - at worst it's something that needs further investigation and treatment, but whatever it is she needs to know what is happening to her, poor girl.

I'm lucky - our GP firmly believes that if something is worrying a patient, then it's worth spending tome to investigate and reassure.

Yep, go! My Mum saved my bacon when I was pregnant and really ill. She took over a telephone appointment with my GP- “Yes, I’ve seen normal morning sickness. This isn’t normal. Please help!!”

If you’re worried and you can afford to go private then you might as well. If you don’t have health insurance there’s no benefit to a referral - you can just make an appointment yourself.

That said, the fact that antibiotics haven’t worked does not signify she doesn’t have some kind of lingering low grade viral infection - I had similar in my teens with similar symptoms.

She has other symptoms
Anaemia
Weight loss (not loss of
Appetite but Wright loss regardless)
Recurring illnesses/throat infections/ colds etc
Ulcers in her throat
Tiredness.

If you do need a referral to go private, if your GP has referred her but she’s got ages to wait before she gets a scan, call the GP’s office manager/secretary and ask for a copy of the referral letter and then take that to a private practitioner instead.

I have private health insurance through work, and that’s how I get appointments with private consultants, if I need them.

I had similar. That’s not to say Lymphoma shouldn’t be ruled out though - of course it should. And if you can expedite the appointment by going private then go for it.

Yes, do take her.

Whoever has seen her sounds thoroughly pompus if this is accurate 'google doesn't have a degree'. Very rude and dismissive.

If she wants you to go with her then absolutely go with her.
I often go the the GP with my mum and sister for moral support and because I am more assertive.
It’s hard to fight your corner effectively when you’re ill and worried.

Yes, go with her. As long as she wants you to be there, obviously. Hope she's feeling better soon.

Can’t you phone the private hospital where you would like the scan and then liaise with GP support staff who would just send scan request to the private hospital. It’s a bit of organising but I did this with an enlarged lymph node on my neck. My memory may not serve me well, but I think it was quite simple.

They are taking her seriously though. They have referred her for a scan, and you say a biopsy referral will happen after that if they deem it necessary. By all means go along with her, but at this stage it's likely you will just be told to wait as the referral has been made. They won't be able to make happen any quicker simply because you go to the GP with her.

Has she had any blood tests? I would demand a full set of bloods while you are waiting for the referral

Bless her -definitely go with her if that's what she wants. She has given it more than enough time. Sometimes, even adults just need another person to help them be more pushy.

When I was about that age I fell off a horse show jumping and landed on my back on a pole (I was wearing a back protector). A month later I went to my GP because my back was aching. GP said nothing wrong. Two months later my Mum took me down. Saw a different GP. It turns out I had dislocated a vertebrae and if I'd come off again it could have been a different story than just an aching back. Mum ripped the other GP a new arse hole after that.

So, yes, I am an advocate of you going with your daughter.

@PatchworkElmer
Sounds like my DM! I had HG but kept getting ‘it’ll pass around 12 weeks’ - my DM was having none of it! Couple of hours later I was admitted on antenatal ward at local hospital. What would we do without our mums huh?

OP the only time you’re ‘interfering’ is when you’re getting involved against your child’s wishes!!
100% get involved now!! Your DD is still pretty young in the grand scheme and if it’s serious and you don’t, you’ll never forgive yourself.

Please do take her. Back in 2015 I took my (then) 19 year old son to our GP.
He had very similar symptoms to your daughter but he had gone downhill very quickly in the week prior to us seeing our GP.
I was also worried about Hodgkins Lymphoma. Fortunately our GP was as concerned as I was and got my son in to see the consultant haematologist the next day at our local hospital.
After many tests the diagnosis was stage 4 Hodgkins Lymphoma and my son began chemotherapy.
He has been in remission since 2016 now but it was absolutely terrifying at the time.
I'm so thankful that our GP took us seriously.

She wants you to go - it's a no brainier.

Go and be the authoritative voice.

You won't regret going nor will your D.

Absolutely go with her if she wants you to. You'll probably be better able to INSIST on her being taken seriously. You shouldn't have to, but it seems you do. Really hope she's Ok, OP.

@Loodally really sorry to read all you’ve been through thank the lord he’s in remission and is doing well

Can you see someone privately?

@Ollypollydolly

Thank you

I went with my DD19 last week about tonsillitis. She wanted me to as she hadn’t been to GP for years. My DM had NH lymphoma but it was picked up by a sudden swollen gland in front of her ear(parotid) , it literally appeared and grew very quickly. She was very well though apart from the swelling . A colleague had H lymphoma and she was very ill with night sweats etc. All well now though.DM had blood tests initially that showed something wasn’t right. Has your DD had any? Is your DD vegetarian or vegan? I know mouth ulcers and anaemia can be a problem if not getting b12 etc

Please do go. My friend's DD, aged 18, had the same kind of lump as described in the OP and was diagnosed with lymphoma last year. She's had a year of treatment and only this week has been told she's in remission.

When i was in my early twenties i had a lump in my groin...doc told me it was an infected gland...im now in my forties and same has come and gone over the years, i say that to try and put your mind at ease but as it is causing so much stress, go with your daughter and dont be afraid to speak up for her..im sure she will grateful for your help

She should definitely go to the GP. If she wants you to go with her, that's fine, because it's her choice.