To take my 22year old dd to gp?

[SueDoeName]

My dd found a lump in her groin 18 months ago. She went to doctors and they said it was a swollen lymph node probably caused by infection.

She still has it 18 months later and it's got bigger.

She is always ill. Always got a cold or ulcers in her throat or throat infection. She loses weight despite eating really well. (More than me !)
She is always tired . Looks washed out . She is also anaemic . (Confirmed)
She's been back to the doctors twice - she is very sensible and grounded and has told me she's worried about lymphoma. The doctors dismissed her saying "google doesn't have a degree "
She is worried. I am now worried she has been referred for a scan but will take 4-6 weeks and then she has to await results before getting referred for biopsy.

I want to go to gp now with her and ask about a private referral and timescales. They aren't taking her seriously.

Aibu? I don't usually interfere but this seems like one time I need to. She needs someone a bit bolshy to fight her corner .

Go with her, she is happy for you to go along, sometimes it’s good to have someone to advocate for us, and you have her best interests at heart.

Could it be the anaemia that’s causing infections, fatigue, ulcers? How is her anaemia being treated? How much weight loss?

Can you suggest a different GP? I was being ignored and my mother made an appointment for me with a different GP(I was 22 too) and I got better care afterwards. You might not fair better with this GP.

She definitely needs reviewed by doctor properly to find out what's wrong. She shouldn't have these symptoms. Please pursue till you get an answer.

My recent experience was so different!

Not the same problem, but I had a minor cervical ectropion and was referred under the cancer 2 week pathway, just to be safe. I was fine and my extremely minor issue was treated at the appointment within those 2 weeks. I just thought it was standard if you had lumps or unusual issues, based upon what my GP explained to me.

If you can go private, definitely do so.

This is what I don’t understand. How is the gp explaining the other symptoms?

It also might be an idea to go to a sexual health clinic as an alternative option/last resort - I know this isn’t an STI, however clinics can make specialist referrals too.

Whatsername177

Wow! your mum sounds like a force to be reckoned with!!

Its very sad but a fair old bit of the time you do have to Agitate to get things to happen and you do sadley IMHO to have to sometimes make a nusiance of yourself. I've seen this happen more then the once with misdiagnoises and I could bore you of how an incompetent doctor almost killed me in the process.

Very sad but as said sometimes you do need a bit of assiatance and someone to fight your corner!

Thanks everyone - I've told her we need to see different gp to the one she's seen 3 times now and is dismissive. I'll be asking for a different gp.

They aren't even trying to explain the other symptoms.

She isn't vegetarian or vegan . She eats well. Lately she's too tired to go to gym .

I'm to ringing 2nd jan and I'll be going In With her . I had this once before - my son was 3 when he contracted meningitis. He was misdiagnosed 3 times before I lost it and the emergency gp rang 999. I won't be fobbed off. It could be absolutely nothing- but if there is any possibility it's not I want the fastest diagnostic tests we can get and crack on . Thanks all. I'll update when we've seen a (different) gp to the one who told her google doesn't have a degree.....well nor do I but I still spotted meningitis before anyone with one .

Good luck OP

Good for you op. When they diagnosed anaemia, did they not investigate why or prescribe iron?

www.nice.org.uk/guidance/ng12/chapter/1-recommendations-organised-by-site-of-cancer#haematological-cancers

These are the guidelines for referral for suspected cancer and I think your daughter had more than one of the symptoms that should result in a 2 week wait referral to haematology. GPs do often refer patients in on the wrong urgency and you could push for this to be upgraded to a 2ww. It may be upgraded on triage at the hospital anyway, but it may not.

I presume she had a blood test to confirm anaemia?

I went to some GP and hospital appointments with my mother to support her. She went with two appointments with me at different times to support me. If any of my DCs wanted me to go with them I would.

I think sometimes another person will ask questions that the patient might not and also someone else there may make the GP less likely to fob her off. Not saying all GPS will but some people are afraid to ask for another opinion.

I have fought hard in hospitals for many relatives, my father, mother, husband, daughter and even my grandmother. Sometimes the patient is less able to fight their corner especially when feeling ill.

Good luck OP.

She's lucky to have you, it sounds like you'll fight her corner good and proper.

I hope you have a positive experience.

The “google doesn’t have a degree” comment is so patronising. GPs google things all the time at my practice, it’s a useful tool for them to reference information on the spot.

I once had a GP unnecessarily prescribe antibiotics as he didn’t know what was wrong with me. I googled before the appointment and was 99% sure what I had, but let him diagnose me instead. Went to a 2nd appointment after the antibiotics didn’t work and immediately told this GP what I thought I had based on google, she agreed with me and said the antibiotics shouldn’t have been prescribed!

God luck OP. I had the same issue, the doctors brushed me off for months telling me it was a cyst and they would remove it in a few months 'if I really wanted'.
I went private as it was really worrying and very uncomfortable. The private doctor had me in surgery the next day as he was concerned about cancer. It was actually an abscess on my lymph node which had to be drained and packed, requiring daily treatment for a couple of weeks. I was very glad I went private.
I was 18 at the time and my dad went with me.
If you still don't get anywhere, get a private appointment if you can afford it.

OP, I know you're being proactive by seeing a different GP but you don't need to do that. It will be faster for you if you just book the private specialist you want / need, and then phone the GPs to ask them to write / email / fax the referral. Some specialists aren't that fussed about the referral / GP's notes because they're diagnosing afresh - at least that's certainly been my experience with paediatrics and my son.

Google indicated to me that my DD might have leukaemia after I was fobbed off four times by her shite GP and even yelled at on the phone by him. Insisted on seeing a different GP and she sent her to A&E where she was diagnosed with leukaemia. Absolutely pursue this OP

Yes I would go with your daughter in this case but I really can’t believe how many parents go with their adult children to the GP and for hospital appointments.

I would go

Bloodwise (a major blood cancer charity) reported recently that a quarter of blood cancer patients had to see their GP at least 3 times before the appropriate referral was made.

That’s shocking,

They (and other blood cancer charities) have been making major efforts to get GPs to recognise when blood cancer is a possibility. Clearly not every GP has benefited from this.

Read up on the Bloodwise, CRUK or Macmillan websites, and be ready to advocate for your DD (you could also ring the Bloodwise helpline for advice on how to describe her symptoms)

Lymphoma is pretty rare,but with your DD’s total symptom picture it needs to be ruled out (I hope) early on. And of course if it is present, the earlier treatment starts the better the outcome (and possibly the less hostile the treatment)

Has she had a full blood count done recently? That is not a key diagnostic test for lymphoma (as it can be for leukaemia) but it can provide useful information.

I don’t want to worry you but my dad had exactly the same thing. GP refused to do anything in the grounds that it didn’t cause him any issue.
He went private to have it removed and they found it was cancerous :(

I’m not saying this would be the case for your dd, far from. But I do think that it needs to be investigated ASAP. She is lucky to have you to support her.

To those who have gone
Private - what sort of costs are we
Looking at ? I'm very skint but I won 1k recently and have it put by because I do t have a
Credit card or anything - but I'll use it if necessary for dd a private scan and biopsy.

To those asking a blood test confirmed anaemia. Not sure what else they tested for . Would lymphoma flag up cancer markers in a routine blood test ?

Don’t waste time with another GP OP.

You can make an appointment with a private consultant yourself. If you have health insurance you can then go to GP and get a backdated referral. If you don’t have health insurance there’s no point going to the GP anyway - just pay for the private appt yourself.