To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

[allthewaythere]

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

@allthewaythere complete agree OP. The AMOUNT of mother pushing prams with no regard for people around them, expecting everyone to bow down to them. Every time I go stopping there will be mothers rugby tackling their way through the crowds, I alway let them pass as I have manners but do I ever get a thank you? Do I heck!! Fucking pisses me off, a lot of people with kids become so entitled.
Don't even get me started on mothers driving people carriers, stuffed to the brim with their offspring...it's like they own the damn road!!

@MsChnandlerBong I've had to become very assertive! We have a holiday home in a popular seaside area and in high summer it can be a nightmare. Families walking hand in hand four across and don't want to break hold to let me pass. I refuse to be invisible for their convenience.

You're probably right. I think often times when the the kids a little parents kind of get into their own world. Doesn't make them bad people, also doesn't mean you can't call them out, with a loud "excuse me" or whatever.

I read online a lot about kid-free events, like showers/weddings and how many people take a very hard line on really really not wanting kids present. I think back to when my baby was a few months old and exclusively nursed, I took her everywhere with me. Never crossed my mind not to, that it was rude, etc. With my 1st, she literally NEVER cried or anything (people thought something was wrong with her, I just didn't know any better), but point being, I cringe looking back at my lack of awareness. Suffice to say I'm willing to cut a lot of slack because I know I was clueless, but meant no harm.

Anyone who takes up the whole pavement walking especially slowly is annoying if I'm in a hurry. I try not to get annoyed and to understand but mid to late teens annoy me the most. Apparently they have no idea that they are in the way and apparently couldn't give a toss if I have to walk on the road to allow them to walk 4 abreast on the pavement. Does my head in (and I'm actively trying to NOT be annoyed 🤪)

YABU. Some people are selfish. They are the ones who will make selfish drivers, selfish parents, selfish old people, selfish colleagues, selfish partners. Having children doesn't make them selfish, their personality does.

You've just identified a category of people that you don't belong to and decided that's the reason they are selfish. No doubt if someone said that a group you do belong to were selfish, you'd be quick to say "No, not all of us drivers/solicitors/joggers/hot-air balloonists are selfish- I'm certainly not!".

Well the child needs to learn to walk! Font get me wrong I move our the way if people want to get past. But it's no different to people in Asda with their trolley parked right up next to the fridge so they are hogging 2 meters of the shelf. You just want that product behind their trolley but they are in their own world.

Also people who stand chatting on an aisle or in the street in a group on a highstreet.often results in people having to stand to one side whilst people coming the other way struggle past.

I don't think anyone should be irritated by a baby toddling along learning to walk. I hope people don't think that of my son!

I'm a pretty fast walker and lots of narrow pavements nearby. If I come across someone walking slower should I insist they dive into the road to get out of my way? Or should I just be polite and well mannered and step into the road myself, pass them and carry on my day?

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

So you know that yes, it's a thing. And yes, it obviously passes. Most adults don't totter along in a Bing snowsuit holding their mummy and daddy's hands.

Unleashing the such people must imagine they are the only and “bestest” parents in the world type comments and calling toddlers little brats is a heartwarming way to take us into the New Year though.

I predict 5 pages of MN's finest, increasingly nasty, sneering posts about new parents and their overindulged little shits.

I never have myself down as particular tolerant, but these threads always make me feel like I am!

HaileySherman Agree and it's good to read a sensible, reflective POV on the subject. Other posters have never, ever put a parenting foot wrong apparently.

People seem.to have lost the ability to teach their kids to walk single file when passing others on tne street

Definitely. I've been walking and children as old as 8/9 just seem to walk all over the pavement and just stare at you when you are trying to walk around them. Not all of course, I also know a few of the children around my way will patiently wait for me when I'm passing with the pushchair or will say thank you if I let them pass first.

I saw a couple do exactly the same thing on a zebra crossing the other day. Yes the child has to learn how to walk, yes the pedestrians have priority on a zebra crossing but ffs if ever there was a time NOT to allow a small child to toddle painfully slowly it's on a zebra crossing just off a busy junction (stupid place to have a zebra crossing anyway, as it causes jams at 4 sets of traffic lights, but that's another thread )

I've been walking and children as old as 8/9 just seem to walk all over the pavement and just stare at you when you are trying to walk around them.

I've noticed this too. Children and teenagers walk straight into you and expect the adults to move.

I've also noticed men walking in front of their multiple wives/possibly women doing the same. Come walking straight towards you like bowling balls, they don't even do the normal move-your-body to accommodate other people thing.

I feel like parents of babies and toddlers are made to feel judged and bad enough whatever they do. Only a parent knows that sometimes what looks selfish to you is actually the quickest way to do something. Eg I always let my toddler press the green button on a cash point because chances are if I don’t there could be a full on screaming session. 3 seconds out of your day could be a 30 min tantrum for me! And not very nice on your ear drums. Also the baby wanting to walk on a narrow street might not want to be picked up. Why should your want to speed on by outweigh the baby’s? He or she feeling really proud to be walking along not understanding why their parents suddenly sweep them up or shove them in a pushchair because you happen to be more important? Just walk around or say excuse me. There are many many selfish people in the world but sleep deprived parents are doing their best to keep baby happy and everyone else around them most of the time.

The phase won't last long. My toddler (under 2) was getting frustrated by slow walkers in town the before Christmas, so he started shouting "Go go go!!!" when he came up behind each one as I was trying to walk by with him. Luckily each one laughed, though I did check the thread in case his rudeness had been noted here.

People of all ages and types can be rude and insensitive; mostly they simply don't notice when they are the one creating a hindrance for others and might be surprised if they knew how often they had.

I love seeing toddlers pottering along, wobbling down the pavement. It’s absolute pure joy as far as I’m concerned. I can’t imagine ever being in so much of a rush that I couldn’t stop and enjoy that sight.

I can’t imagine ever being in so much of a rush that I couldn’t stop and enjoy that sight.

Can you not imagine shy other people might not feel the same?

I can’t imagine ever being in so much of a rush that I couldn’t stop and enjoy that sight.

Imagine this. Christmas market held along long narrow street. Stalls back to back in street. Only space to walk is along the pavement. Stalls on your left, shop windows on your right. Pavement wide enough for 3 people: line of people stopping to look at the stalls, and width of 2 people to continue walking past.

Repeated cases where everyone has to stop. Constantly. Nobody can move. We're talking 40-50 people all stopped. A few times I was towards the front of such jams. Every time it was a parent and their toddler walking at a snail's pace, or stopped dead still in the middle of the pavement, as parent LOUDLY tells them how wonderful they are.

Bloody hell there are some intolerant twats on here!

If someone is in your way, say excuse me. It's not hard. We're all human and nobody is going to die because you were delayed for about 8 seconds.

I think patience is in short supply here.

I was less than patient with the mother who was holding little Jolyon while he slowly put the coins in the car park machine, complete with loud performance parenting, as a queue, ten deep, built up behind them. Let your child practice his fine motor skills somewhere where it won’t inconvenience others you fool and don’t act offended when others don’t appreciate the performance.

Devereux1. Terrible. Just awful.

Every time it was a parent and their toddler walking at a snail's pace, or stopped dead still in the middle of the pavement, as parent LOUDLY tells them how wonderful they are

How quickly could a toddler have walked in those nightmarish festive conditions? Of course, if all of these toddlers (every single one being told that they're wonderful - DISGRACEFUL) were running, they would be 'feral brats.'

ffs.

Yes purple I acknowledge others don’t feel the same. The point is that in most of these cases it’s not the parent and child being selfish imo. We all have different perspectives. Personally I’m more irritated by all the terribly important workers pushing past me in the train station because they’re in so much of a hurry that anyone else using the station is an inconvenient obstacle to flatten.
As for getting annoyed that people are walking slowly through a Christmas market. Seriously?! You didn’t anticipate that?

I don't think that the,newly walking baby parents were selfish. They were just walking along the street,as they are allowed to walk along the street,and at their own pace whatever. Others now,are always seemingly rushing about,and being too impatient and stressed about everything these days.

I have seen this many times, my adult son,who uses a wheelchair because of not being able to walk,and he has been wheeling along crap pavements,and negotiating dodgy kerbs etc,and had impatient people getting annoyed,because they sometimes have to wait for him to wheel out of there rushing ways.

I became massively more selfish after having DS.

But I really do notice it is older people who are the most rude and selfish (and I’m including my own mother in this). Much more likely to push you out the way or not hold a door open for you. Most young adults I come across are much more polite

@BrusselPout. There is a good reason for having pedestrian crossings. Many drivers are selfish fuckers who think they own the land

NeckPainChairSearch
How quickly could a toddler have walked in those nightmarish festive conditions?

Oh dear. Another one for whom the point is a speck in the sky above their heads. No wonder she's got neck pain.

YANBU. A lot act like they're the first to have procreated and the world should revolve round them and their progeny. Those who feel having a baby and young child or twins is the same as having a disability are the worst.