To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

[allthewaythere]

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

I’m annoyed by this post.

Before I had children, I didn’t really comprehend the hard, unrelenting work that goes into them.

So I’ll admit to sometimes being that one who would roll her eyes if sat near a baby in a plane, was smashed into by pushchairs etc... However I would try to be kind in general and try to keep any annoyance in check, but do think I just lacked understanding.

Now I have kids I get it. Parents (or at least I) do generally try their best to keep children quiet when appropriate but it’s sometimes just not humanly possible. I understand how hard it can be to emergency stop with a heavy pram in a crowd when someone steps in front of you without looking. I understand why parent a child spaces are such a help. I am sometimes a little ashamed of my thought in my previous, younger self.

However, I get annoyed by the attitude of some of the “been there, done it” generation. Well done, youve raised your kids. Have you forgotten how hard it can be ? Yes, lots of people do it but that doesn’t mean it’s not hard and a bit of help/understanding is not so hard to offer people, is it (And by the way I don’t think this is limited to just parents, we should try to be like this for everyone).

In the OP’s example yes, they should have been more aware and moved. They might be incredibly sleep deprived and not have noticed or they may just be selfish folk irrespective of whether they’ve had children.

But you have a tongue in your head. Why not use it and ask politely if they could move over ? Instead of bitching about a whole class/generation of people.

@Misscromwellrocks what was the excuse? She forgot how to use words ?

Yet another poster ignoring the Ops clear explanation of why she didn't say excuse me.

Because never let the truth get t in the way of a good rant.

Just read the thread strongmummy.

OP explained why she couldn't say excuse me. A crowd was between her and te baby all trying to get past. Yes it's hard raising kids we all get that but surely you would be aware that a crowd has formed and your actions of allowing a tiny baby to take shakey first steps was causing that crowd.

Oh for goodness sake! As so many PPs have said, just say 'excuse me' if you want to get past. The parents don't have eyes in the back of their heads; they are correctly concentrating on their own child who has the same right to pavement space as anyone else. The idea of a huge seething crowd where no one had the gumption to get past is utterly absurd. It's even more absurd to complain about others getting in your way when everyone spends half the day getting in various other people's way, neither knowing nor caring about it.

You don't need eyes in the back of your head to realise that your baby tryinf to walk along a narrow busy footpath is likely to hold people up.

You need common sense.

@Misscromwellrocks

Funny, but my voice comes with the ability to use it at a whole range of different volumes.

The OP could have raised her voice, or just excused her way though the crowd if her voice doesn’t work like the vast majority of people’s until she got to the front and then asked.

And she could be annoyed at the rest of the crowd who were perhaps happy to wait seeing as they didn’t ask the parents to move either.

Even a cheeky “oi mate, getting a bit of a que back here, would you mind shifting for a sec” would have worked.

But then again I am northern and can ask for what I need.

The parents should be aware of their sirroundings.

YANBU

No doubt they'd then be accused of being rude and aggressive towards a young couple just trying to enjoy time with their child.

Part of being a responsible patent is being fully aware of your surrounding and protecting your child from risk. Allowing a tiny 11 month old to walk along a busy street in a crowd is a huge risk because they are below other adults eyeline. Not good parenting.

@misscromwellrocks

Really ? By saying excuse me or using the word please ? Yes, how rude.

And I dont think many people are saying the parents shouldn’t have shifted over, I think they’re annoyed at the fact the OP (and/or the crowd) could have just asked for that nicely but instead didn’t and chose to bitch about it over the internet instead.

@misscromwellrocks I have and I’m that situation I would either 1) shout excuse me please or 2) walk in the road to where the culprits were walking and say “hi there, but you’re holding up quite a lot of people” or something similar. It’s called being proactive 🙄

I would have found a crowd seething, huffing and puffing behind me more aggressive when I noticed them, than a simple polite request to move over.

If a crowd has gathered surely a parent should realise that if they are causing disruption to so many people they should be walking their baby elsewhere.

And posting the idea young parents are selfish on what is primarily a parenting website is also quite goady.

@my2bundles

Depends on the size of this baying mob.

I’ve been in situations before where my child has insisted on doing something themselves. I would try to stop them, let others first etc if there were others waiting but have been told on occasion to let my child get on with it as they have to learn, we’ve all been there etc...

Yes, they should have spotted a large crowd. But one or two people making no move to ask them to get out of the way, perhaps not.

Where does it say young parents Stephminx?

You know what annoying. Trying to get several young children safely from a-b while a parent with 1 baby is taking up tne whole path. Using tbe excuse they won't pick them up so as not to upset them and being completely unaware of their surroundings because all their atension just has to be on the baby . My kids are equally important the difference is they and I am fully aware of others and I manage to keep them out of others way while also keeping them safe.. Yes allow the to toddle just don't do it in total oblivion to everyone else.

@muniguinness

I meant parents of young children.

There was no room to say excuse me, makes no sense whatsoever.

Was it a busy street? Doesn't matter anyway. The parents and child have the same right as anyone else, fast or slow, to use it. If anyone wants to get past they can ask, if that's possible on such a crowded little path of course because surely there'd be as many people coming towards them unless it's some sort of one-way pedestrian system. Frankly, if the path is so narrow and yet so busy I'd be on to the council to have something done about it because obviously something more is needed.

I have noticed that people are using their prams as a weapon, particularly men. They just plough their way through with a clear indication that they will not move. This to me is a fairly recent thing and not something I recall when my kids were young.

Why oh why do people take their entire family shopping and then proceed to stop and chat every other aisle thereby making it impossible to get past

I agree with you, but Not too long ago there was a thread asking this and some people came on and fiercely defended doing this. It was usually "Well I don't drive and my husband doesn't know the kind of jam I like, and we have 3 kids so we all just have to go together".
I mean I'd be embarrassed to tell people that my husband was such a useless fucker he couldn't understand a shopping list. But they came on and defended their choice to the hilt. Most of them said "We all have a lovely day, and my kids aren't any bother!". No you don't. Your kids hate you, and so do other shoppers