Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think a lot of parents of very young children become quite selfish

608 replies

allthewaythere · 31/12/2019 10:07

I am expecting to be flamed but here goes.

Yesterday I was walking on a really narrow street and a couple were walking with a very young baby who’s only just started to take a few hesitant steps, maybe 11 months, so he had dad on one side and mum on the other.

Because the street was so narrow it meant everyone behind them either had to walk at toddler pace or step into the road to get by.

I’ve seen this in a lot of my friends with really young children. Is this a thing and does it pass?

OP posts:
absopugginglutely · 01/01/2020 07:05

Why is your happiness more important than the happiness of the three people in front of you though OP? Surely you’re being selfish thinking that the world should mar h to your drum!

bingbangbing · 01/01/2020 07:09

People are definitely less patient.

Everyone is in a rush. Two second delay is terrible for them.

Juliette20 · 01/01/2020 07:28

Spend the New Year having a serious evaluation at your life if you get so irritated by an adult allowing a child to walk slowly along a pavement that you have to start a thread about it. So what if it held you up for 30 seconds? Allow yourself more time to get somewhere and stop rushing around.

Grave damage is done to society by people rushing around angry and stressed. And for goodness' sake, don't get behind a wheel like that. You put yourself and others in serious danger.

MiniGuinness · 01/01/2020 07:33

Oh. There was a man and his child FaceTiming with someone while everyone else waited to go through the doors of the supermarket yesterday. But of course he should not worry about causing a delay because he and his child really were the most amazing humans ever to have lived.

Misscromwellrocks · 01/01/2020 07:35

@absopugginglutely

It wasn't just the op who was affec. The couple were holding up a big group of people, many of who may have had to be somewhere important, putting their 'happiness' first.

Like the op a lot of them wouldn't even have known what was causing the logjam.

Sux2buthen · 01/01/2020 07:36

Tough really, isn't it. A mild annoyance for you is probably a great memory for them with their child. I remember the first time mine went on foot and it was a snails pace with lots of wobbling and swerving. If they annoyed anyone I can't say I really care
As for the road part, I find 'excuse me' works

53rdWay · 01/01/2020 07:48

I still can’t get over the mental image of a big crowd of people stuck behind a toddler and it’s parents, all silently seething about the sheer entitlement of parents today, yet none willing to call out ‘excuse me!’ Were you hoping they’d psychically detect your presence?

I lived in a very touristy city through several busy tourist years. People drag wheels suitcases way out behind them, they block the pavement, they stop right in front of you to look at the scenery or argue over maps, they’re totally oblivious. You just have to yell out “Excuse me! EXCUSE ME, PLEASE!” and work your way past. (And yes, if you are close enough to not only spot a toddler walking with parents ahead but also estimate it’s age to the month, you’re within distance to do that.)

MiniGuinness · 01/01/2020 07:50

If they annoyed anyone I can't say I really care
And that is exactly the attitude that makes people think that parents of young children are really selfish. Your memories don’t trump other people’s needs. but you were making memories... awww

bingbangbing · 01/01/2020 07:53

Apparently there was no room to say excuse me. Work that one out!

Sux2buthen · 01/01/2020 08:05

No @MiniGuinness I don't do the 'making memories' thing dear, I just don't find other people's wants more important than mine anymore.
Everyone has selfish moments whether people with their kids, people annoyed by kids, people in a rush, people being rushed.... the list goes on.
Do what makes you happy, you can't live your life anticipating the needs of every stranger you pass.
And yes, if my child is doing something with us I'm not that fussed what anyone thinks.
Happy new year 🥳

WorldsOnFire · 01/01/2020 08:06

@53rdWay

‘Excuse me’ isn’t a magic enchantment that parts the bloody sea though 😂
I also live in a ‘very touristy’ and historic city which is kinda the worst combination;
-High footfall
-Narrow/old streets designed way before cars or tourism 🙄
-Everybody stopping to take selfies in the busiest party’s 👍🏻

Because it’s so busy people have just become immune to ‘excuse me’ you can be right next to them shouting it in their ear and they’ll pretend not to have heard/noticed as they want to get their picture/walk their toddler/walk 3 abreast and don’t really give a crap that you want to get past.

We now have lots of ‘volunteer’ police who basically just wander the city during busiest periods and act as crowd control ... but I’ve seen people acting extremely selfishly and then even arguing with them when they are told to stop.

The worst are those double side by side pushchairs. Don’t even get me started on the selfish morons who buy/use those. Standard pavements aren’t wide enough to get those past wheelchairs or mobility aids coming the opposite way...and the parents pushing them are always horrified to not ‘take priority’!

Being in a wheel chair- NOT A CHOICE
Buying a stupid wide tank of a double pushchair - TOTALLY CHOICE

MiniGuinness · 01/01/2020 08:10

Don’t call me dear Sux2buthen it is patronising. You did actually say that you don’t care if it is a great memory. Says a lot about you.

Misscromwellrocks · 01/01/2020 08:11

@Sux2buthen you sound more selfish with every post you make.

Andp how many times does the op have to explain that she couldn't see what was causing the hold up until she eventually walked out onto a busy road to get around the couple.

Are people suggesting that everyone else should have done the same?

Londongirl86 · 01/01/2020 08:17

He was not running around a doctor's surgery waiting room. He was just under age two and after 15 minutes of waiting he started to get bored and upset. He wanted to walk around the room. I held hostage s hand to do this. I showed him the window. In between me trying to find ways to keep him happy people helped me! They spoke to him. They played peekaboo and spoke to me. Basically they were not judging me for not having a perfect child sitting silent and not moving. Toddlers just can't do it. People seem to think they shouldn't move in cafes or make a noise anywhere like that. It's all so very judgemental!

Londongirl86 · 01/01/2020 08:18

Held his hand!

Misscromwellrocks · 01/01/2020 08:22

But your son wasn't inconveniencing anyone London girl. That's a totally different situation. You seem to be assuming that people who think parents should carry an early walking toddler on a busy narrow pavement think all children should be seen and not heard.

That's a big leap.

Londongirl86 · 01/01/2020 08:29

Well happy new year to you all! You definitely have first world problems. Agree to the person saying don't get behind the wheel. Far too angry. When something really bad happens you must be so scary to be around.

Children should be seen and not heard.
Parents should only enjoy their little didums out the fecking way.
Toddlers walking on a narrow street should be avoided. Even if there is no other way to go. Avoid it. Your can't go down that street!
Anyone slow should be lifted up and moved out the way. If we apply that to toddlers we need to lift old people out the way too. Because it's still wasting your time regardless of who is walking like a snail.
Also as soon as I said my toddler didn't want to sit silent and still in a waiting room I triggered a couple of angry well your toddler shouldn't be messing about in a waiting room. His brain doesn't know which places he should sit quietly in yet. But he's working on it.

Goodness me. Get over yourselves. I'm sure your own kids have been annoying in public more than once Grin

my2bundles · 01/01/2020 08:31

Plus the baby wasnto even a toddler yet, it was around 11 months old. I don't know about anyone else but at that age mine whete still tiny and taking g steps meant one step then stop another then stop with no control and 100%support from me. To do this on a busy street is ridiculous and completely different to a confidently walking 18 month old or 2 year old. This was a baby in arms not a toddler. There is a time and a place to practise a tiny babies first steps and a busy street whole forcing people onto a busy road isn't one of them.

Misscromwellrocks · 01/01/2020 08:35

You really are making stuff up now London girl. Maybe calm down and actually read what posters are saying. You seem to have an indignant mass of assumptions swirling around in your head.

MiniGuinness · 01/01/2020 08:35

Welcome to the inner world of Londongirl86 a stream of consciousness at its finest.

Strongmummy · 01/01/2020 08:38

Stop being pathetic and passive aggressive and ask them to move

my2bundles · 01/01/2020 08:41

It's passive aggressive to do this and expect everyone else to say excuse me. They should be aware of everyone else and already made allowances to make room.

Misscromwellrocks · 01/01/2020 08:42

@strongmummy

She explained ages ago why that wasn't possible.

bingbangbing · 01/01/2020 08:45

No she didn't.

You can't complain about someone getting in your way if you just seethe with silent rage. Speak!

Misscromwellrocks · 01/01/2020 08:46

Yes she did.