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AIBU?

Husband wanting to remortgage.....I don’t

131 replies

Guitarlessons · 28/12/2019 20:09

DH and I only have just over a year left on our Mortgage, and I for one cannot wait to have that security and freedom where the house is finally ours.

Just for a bit of background when I was younger my mum and dad were alcoholics, and my mum would never pay the rent, we would get letters threatening eviction and my mum would tell me about this as she was worried and I mean she would tell me this at a young age (about 11/12) and I remembering worrying where would we all live. So we have been hammering our mortgage and in just over a years time, it will be ours.

DH wants to buy land, and eventually build a house, which means remortgaging. I don’t want to do this. I’ve told him once our mortgage is paid, he can do what he likes but don’t remortgage the house, but he says we can’t do that, he needs to remortgage get the the money from the lenders!!

He says I’m being unreasonable, I won’t even think about it....eh no I want the security of my home. We are both going to be 50 without a mortgage and I think that’s a brilliant achievement. Another reason I don’t want to remortgage is because of Brexit, we don’t know what’s going to happen with that, it could affect my husbands job, it could affect my job. We only have about £11,000 to pay on our mortgage, and now he wants to remortgage for about £150,000, to live in the middle of no where and that’s another thing I don’t want to live in the middle of no where. I love my house, I love the area we in.

I can’t see another way round this!

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

796 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
6%
You are NOT being unreasonable
94%
Motoko · 26/01/2020 15:14

My worry would be that if he's so determined to do this, I wouldn't be surprised if he applied to remortgage, and forged OP'S signature.

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Frenchw1fe · 26/01/2020 15:28

When your mortgage is paid do NOT put a £1000. a month into his pension put £500 into each pension.
My dh persuaded me to not bother with my pension as he was the higher earner and paid high tax. I now have a tiny pension and if anything happens to dh I'll only get half of his. I wish I could turn the clock back as we were well situated to pay more into my pension.

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PatellarTendonitis · 26/01/2020 15:29

There is NFW I'd remortgage, at all. I'd actually check my credit record, too, in case he has tried to forge your signature. Get onto the moneysavingexpert forum, it's a great source of advice and ask how you can stave off his potentially forging your signature to remortgage.

He's extremely self-absorbed. Aw, diddums, chose to have a family and now spitting his dummy out because he can't get what he wants.

I'd sit tight until the mortgage is paid, take whatever steps necessary to prevent his forging your signature, and divorce him.

You are all second priority to him.

I'd get working more hours as soon as possible, too.

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PatellarTendonitis · 26/01/2020 15:30

And NO, no to putting £1000/month into his bloody pension. Nope.

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Qwerty543 · 26/01/2020 15:37

Tell him to go ahead if it's that important to him but he is doing it with his half as you are buying somewhere else for youself, and he isn't welcome.

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billy1966 · 26/01/2020 17:26

OP, there is no way I would be tying my future to a petulant bully.

Protect yourself and your future.

Check out that he is not applying to remortgage.

You can contact your mortgage holder and specifically inform them by letter, to be held by them that you DO NOT give permission for your home to be re mortgaged.

Protect your pension too.

He sounds untrustworthy.

Be very careful.💐

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