He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

Ha! I think I would have been labelled a 'ladette' in the '90s!

Girly is a word that makes my toes curl.

Depends on the dynamic. Ok for your friend or family to use it. Not ok for your boss to

For gods sake, stop looking for things to criticise.

For gods sake, stop looking for things to criticise

Yes! Women - stop bloody well thinking for yoursleves FGS. Be quiet, pretty and useful.

I understand why it grated on you OP.

I recently was in a group of female colleagues aged 25-55 who were trained on some IT systems by a male trainer. All day it was ladies this, ladies that, now then ladies.. It grated.

I mentioned it politely on the evaluation form for the training company.

I regularly refer to DP and his male colleagues (age range 23 to 60ish) as 'the boys'. No offence is meant or taken.

I didn't have a clue people got offended by this Jesus. I regularly get middle age WOMEN at work who say they're there for a 'girly weekend' 'oh we don't mind if it's a double bed we're all girls together!'

Boyfriend/girlfriend ect

I thought it was accepted that if you mean a child boy/girl then generally you say little boy/little girl. Generally you know what people are talking about based on context of conversation. Frankly I'd find it weird if I was in a group of friends and the leader shouted 'come on women' rather than 'come on girls' to hurry us up.

It's so strange what people are offended by these days, I need to start keeping a diary!

Yes! Women - stop bloody well thinking for yoursleves FGS. Be quiet, pretty and useful

You missed oversensitive as well

Ihave it would be very very weird if I referred to my teenage pupils as 'little boys' and 'little girls' would it not? They are boys and girls.

I'm lost.

your son's best friend (you say she's 30 so friend not boyfriend- but then you say he said it?) so your sons boyfriend?

so a gay man called you and your gay son "the girls"- is that not just a gay affectation?

You missed oversensitive as well

Indeed!

So why are you referring to him as a boyfriend? Surely it should be man friend or partner?

A man at work always refers to the office manager and the pa (they sit next to each other) as 'the girls' as in 'I'll get the girls to book my train' and I really don't like it.

I don't use it myself either I don't go 'out with the girls' I meet my friends and anyway I have male friends as well.

It conjures up all sorts of weird stereotypes that I don't like.

Also men referring to women as girls when they are adults has always been patronising. You don't get a woman pointing out good looking 35 year old man and saying oh look at that boy.

I don't mind it, it's preferable to being called 'ladies'.
But I hate the term 'girly' and while I would have a night out with friends who are female , I would never refer to it as a 'girly night out'. It makes it look like we're talking about hair and makeup all night!

so a gay man called you and your gay son "the girls"- is that not just a gay affectation

@bluebluezoo it took me a while but DD is dear sister and BF is BOYfriend (not male friend or man friend, or partner ironically)

'Frankly I'd find it weird if I was in a group of friends and the leader shouted 'come on women' rather than 'come on girls' to hurry us up.'

Lol if the 'leader' yelled 'come on girls' at me I'd do u turn and take myself off to the nearest pub

Sorry DS not DD

Dear God, of all the things to be offended by. Seriously, I'm nearly 60, as are most of my friends. We all still refer to ourselves as "the girls". The things people choose to be upset about baffles me.

We are one sisters

No fucking words. Jeez.

OK no more teasing

You should have told him at the time you didn't like it.
It's common usage to call groups of women girls i.e. girls night out, here come the girls (Boots ad campaign), Gilmore Girls etc. That doesn't mean you can't challenge if you think it infantilises you.
He wouldn't have meant it out of spite though.

Depends on the context but in itself not offensive. the terms “girls” and “boys” are used for all age groups and usually meant in an informal or endearing way rather than patronising. Ladies/Gentleman or Men/Women can sound too formal and a bit knobby outside work.

What I can’t stand is comments like “don’t be such a girl” in a negative “soft” context. I’ve immediately picked people up on that. It’s extremely offensive and fucks me off no end.

Kosh
I'm with you on this one.