He used the phrase the girls to describe two adult women.

[cherryblossomgin]

Christmas was great but something stuck out to me, at the time I said nothing but it annoyed me and Its still annoying me. DS BF called me and DS the girls and the moment he said it I internally cringed and wanted to say something but I didn't. I'm 31 she is 30. AIBU to be bothered by this. I know its not a major issue and overall he is nice guy.

It's perhaps more familiar than sexist - "boys" is just as common.

It would be cringe inducing, and perhaps even insulting if someone you didn't know well enough started describing you in this way, because without the context of familiarity it becomes "child"

It was a group of two women, me and my sister. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to cause drama over a non issue but it just annoyed me at the time. I am not sitting seething over it, I agree it's a non-issue. I was just curious if it was a me problem, or a term that others don't like. I am not a snowflake or a liberal.

Can’t see the issue.

Just to add it was the first time I had spent time with her and her BF.

Obviously not the first time I've spent time with my sister lol.

It's my Sister and her Boyfriend.

But what does a 'girly' day out mean? All prosecco and spas? Coming over all 'girly'?

Probably! Whilst girl doesn't bother me at all I absolutely hate the term 'girly'. I work with women in their 50s who are friends having been there since they were actual girls ad they often talk about their girly weekends which really makes me cringe.

Its a you issue. HTH.

@Doyouavocado what did the police say

😂😂😂

I reallt couldn't get excited about that unless it really was meant in drneaning way. Pretty sure I referred to all the blokes as boys over Christmas.

Drama over a non-issue. You just said it yourself

It must be exhausting to be offended about this kind of stuff.

I think it would depend on delivery whether I noticed it or not. We still use 'the boys' to refer to our brothers who are both in their 50s and 'girls' for the sisters. It's not changed since we were little.
But if it was 'giiiiiiiiiiiiiirls' with a and a pat on the head or a finger pistol, well, yy I'd find that cringey and odd.

I find it very weird to refer to grown men as boys also.

Well, I have a boyfriend

He's probably more than a friend as well......

So you have the brains to not be daft and think I'm friends with an underage male when I say I have a "boyfriend", but are willing to throw them out the window as soon as I say I'm going "clubbing with the girls/boys" - all of a sudden I'm on a night-out drinking with primary school children

Drama over a non-issue. You just said it yourself

It must be exhausting to be offended about this kind of stuff

This kind of comment (when women step out of their box) is as predictable as the sun rising every morning. [frgin]

But what does a 'girly' day out mean? All prosecco and spas? Coming over all 'girly'?

It could be literally anything. Could be white water rafting or caving as long as it's done with an all female group.

I'm 56 and regularly meet "the girls" for lunch/dinner. It's just a friendly term. Meeting "the women" or "my women friends" would not have quite the same ring to it. Meeting "the ladies" sounds far too formal.
"Girls" is what we've been since we were young, and it's an affectionate, friendly term that has stuck. How lovely!! 😁

As as aside, my children are 20 and 22, and therefore not 'children' anymore. How am I supposed to address them collectively?
My Offspring?

My friends who have same-sex children call them the 'boys/girls, even though they're adults. I obviously can't do that, so I say "the kids".

That would be !

I think context is everything. If I'm going out with my friends my DH might say 'what time are you off out with the girls' as shorthand and I'm fine with that.
Whereas if I was referred to as a girl in the office at work I'd be fuming.

Yabvvvvu

A total non issue.

It could be literally anything. Could be white water rafting or caving as long as it's done with an all female group

I don't think that most people would see white water rafting as a girly day out tbf.

For gods sake, stop looking for things to criticise

Yes! Women - stop bloody well thinking for yoursleves FGS. Be quiet, pretty and useful.

Nobody said that, nor is it implied by saying you are looking for things to criticise. I've told my boyfriend many times to stop looking for things to critise because he can be so negative all the time about every little thing - doesn't mean just stand there and look pretty, but you must have an ingrained issue about that otherwise you wouldn't have projected like you just did

I don't think that most people would see white water rafting as a girly day out tbf.

Where I am, a girly day out means spending time with your friends that are the same sex as you, other women. Doesn't matter what the activity is.

@koshkat how can you speak for all women? My last 'girly day' was go karting then an Indian. I've never been to a spa and I don't like Prosecco.

It would be very very weird if I referred to my teenage pupils as 'little boys' and 'little girls' would it not? They are boys and girls.

If you teach Y13, do you refer to them as men and boys and women and girls or just boys an girls?